You know, I have to agree with you. My mother in law is wonderful, and calls me a mom already. She gets me a present and card on Mother’s Day, because she feels that 1) I carried a child, however short 2) I WANT to be a mother and 3) I love a child we are only trying to conceive at the moment. Maybe those who haven’t had a single child are different “kind of mom”, but they are moms none the less.
So, even if your doc says a test was negative, go ahead and mourn, for something that you loved and wanted. Childless couples mourn what can’t be, why can’t others? (That prob should have been posted more on your update, but I’m lazy )