Tis the season for shallow materialism

Dec 03, 2006

#Weght Loss and Body Image

I’m not one to disappoint, so when asked what I want for Christmas, I can usually produce a list about thirty feet long. And if we’re not judging lists by length, I can certainly produce a pricey list mostly full of Apple products that I absolutely MUST have.  Yesterday, though, I found a tiny, affordable, and practical product. The only trouble is? I can’t use it for another seven months. Well, and it’s really not affordable and practical at all, so why not obsess about it? In a way, it’s my red rider BB gun.

image  I’m in love with the Nike+ ipod accessory. I’m fully aware that I will be getting fatter over the next 6 months and unable to run for 7 and a half, but I have dreams of looking like model. Or! Better yet, looking like Sandra Bullock .(Seriously, I do not see it. Seriously. But I heart you for it.) At any rate, I’m inspired to run again and it didn’t just happen yesterday.

After reading Zoot’s stories about road races and Becki getting back to running, that deep old part of me started to wake up. The part that does not have to eat every twenty minutes to prevent throwing up and the part that craves the runner’s high at about mile 2. I used to run. I used to run a lot. I also used to be thin and young and I’m not sure these are mutually exclusive.

That’s me with the short hair and knee brace. I think I’m running a 10K in track during college here, but it could be cross country. Either way, it’s insanely long and I think the chick in front lapped me

After twelve years of running miles and miles (no less than 20 a week on a slow week), I put aside my running shoes for athletic trainers and an elliptical machine. The elliptical machine is not the same. There is no WHOOSH WHOOSH of the wind in your ear and no ache in your legs and lungs as you push up the last hill before the finish. There is no high and no scenery. There is also no aching knees and hips or shins.

I finally gave up running when my knees began to pop walking up the stairs. I limped through most of 2001 in complete denial that I was a “heavy runner” and too hard on my knees. By December 2001, I couldn’t walk up stairs or bend to tie my shoe. It was time to retire.

Every so often, I get the itch. I talk to people who are going for a run at 7am in the snow and the dark and, Internet, I am jealous. I obviously have some sort of sickness because instead of enjoying my pillow at 7AM, I am jealous someone else is out on the road, all on their own, sweating and breathing and running. I want to be running.

The Nike+ is the last straw. It’s the last string in the “I miss running” lament I’ve been droning on about. It’s the final straw in the “I will get my body back and be in the best shape ever at 31 after I have two children and knee therapy.” The Nike+ is the new obsession for me to drool over. I even found a way to get around buying the Nike+ shoes.

Trouble is? I’m so popular*, I’m afraid my stalker would find me. Also, I don’t have an iPod Nanno, which is apparently the only iPod it works with. So add another 150 dollars for a Nanno and factor in the possible surveillance and you have a big Santa clause sticking his foot in my face right after telling me I’ll shoot my eye out.

Ho. Ho. Ho.

(*sarcasm, people, it’s sarcasm)


  1. <G>  Red Rider BB Gun!

    I think you should hang on to Santa’s boot.

    By mdvelazquez on 2006 12 04

  2. Well, I’m ashamed to admit that I only got in four miles last week!  I totally understand that desire and the craving.  It’s exactly how I feel. In the snow though? I am not that dedicated.  I’ll stick to the treadmill for the winter.  I do have knee problems also.  They click and creak when I go up stairs but I’ve found that running actually made them better.  My doctor said I had to strenghten my knee muscles and I’ve noticed a big difference since I started running again this summer.  I know that walking doesn’t give you the same high but would that suffice for now?  Before you know it, you will be able to pull out that jogging stroller!

    By Beckik on 2006 12 04

  3. I’m lovin’ the high school photo!

    I hope Santa reads your blog. wink

    By Jamie on 2006 12 04

  4. Cute photo Les!  It looks like Laura.  I miss running as well, it was more like 15 miles a week, not much but it was something.  When Jon asked me recently what some of my goals are, the first one I said was, “I want to run again.”  Jon is eyeing the Nike+ as well. 

    PS…If you need a hook up for the goods, you know I have access, at a discount rate too!

    By traci on 2006 12 04

  5. OK, Laura was right…total Sandra Bullock in that photo! wink

    By traci on 2006 12 04

  6. As much as I can relate to wanting the gadgets, I can’t relate to the running.

    By Friglet on 2006 12 04

  7. hahahah! Wow. So you were a cheerleader AND a runner? Wow. I thought I only disiked running until the ARMY taught me that I in fact, hated it with all of my heart and soul. Thank you Uncle Sam! The gadget part would be way cooler than the running part but then I am holding a little experiment to see if I can gain enough weight to have actual satellites orbiting me.

    By texasbelle on 2006 12 04

  8. It won’t be too long and you’ll be able to give into your craving to run. Me, I want to , want to run. I want to get up and run. But I’m just too damn tired. Lazy maybe. I’m not a bright and early type person. I like to sleep as late as humanly possible with two young children. That means 7:30 am. Meaning I’d have to get up at like 5:30am. Not happenin’ right now. But those gadgets are wicked. I’ve never seen those shoes before. Makes me want to start running even more :0)

    By kelli on 2006 12 04

  9. I didn’t see the Sandra B thing but now I do.  I think my daughter is going to look like Sandra B when she is older.  And, my daughter is beautiful.

    I’m so far, far behind on the Ipod thing.  I cannot believe the market that has opened up for this Ipod thing in which you people speak.

    Never under estimate the power of Santa.

    By Piglet on 2006 12 04

  10. I can’t even run across my house without getting out of breath, but I admire you for wanting to pick it back up.
    Maybe you’ll get your wish!

    By Renee on 2006 12 05

  11. I have the Nike+ so this is to warn you that if you have a compulsive temperment (ahem) than you might do better to wish for something else.  I did not receive such a friendly warning and am now completely addicted to(literally, cannot leave the house for work until I’ve done this) uploading my daily runs and seeing the little character run across the screen and track my pace; displaying all the data by month, by week, by month again; setting monthly mileage and pace goals….*sigh* oh yeah, baby.

    As an fyi if you still decide to get it, it works in any shoe.  I cut a hole through the tongue of my sneaker and stuffed it in there.  One of those house key dealies that laces into your shoe works, too.

    Good luck getting back into running, or finding something else to scratch that itch!

    By Juliane on 2006 12 05

  12. you ARE popular, girl!  You are smile

    By Kerry on 2006 12 05

  13. I try to only run if someone is chasing me with a bloody weapon.

    Funny you should mention the Nike Sport Kit since I just saw this article about it. Somewhat scary.

    By IrishWalsh on 2006 12 06

  14. My knees have betrayed me as well. I miss running. And you’re right - the elliptical machine is not the same. I’m not huffing and puffing after the elliptical like I am after running.

    And I don’t mean any insult by this comment (I’m older than you), but something about that picture makes it look like it was taken in the ‘60s! I think it’s the slightly faded look of the color.

    By JC on 2006 12 06

  15. Ha! Well, the sixties, 1994, same thing. grin

    By Mrs. Flinger on 2006 12 06