Geeky Talks
Top ten reasons to get pregnant in High School
Granted, I don’t go around telling girls to get knocked up in High School as a regular expression of my brilliance, but I’ve been thinking of this a lot lately. I mean, what’s with all the “finish graduate school” and “get a stable job” and “have years with my husband first” crap? Really? When you compare it to the blissful layout of the following list. (Yes! It’s a LIST! I know I know…)
10. Boys are always horny. No need to beg them to come “DO” you because you’re ovulating. TONIGHT. RIGHT NOW. DAMNIT. PERFORM.
9. Down Syndrome pregnancy risk factor is 1 in 1659.
8. Perky Boob recovery is 1659 to 1.
7. Natural Lubrication. ‘Nuff Said.
6. Young people don’t sleep. Or need sleep. Or care about sleep. Old thirty-year olds turn in to beyotches without sleep. Trust me.
5. You can’t legally drink for a few years anyway. Why waste sobriety on pregnancy later?
4. Nobody cares what your GPA in High School was.
3. Your mother, your boss, and your friends will never ask why you’re not off getting laid.
2. Did I mention the perky boob thing?
1. You will get your body back the day you deliver. You will effortlessly sneeze a child out of your vajaja, turn to your mother and say, “What’s for dinner?”
LB will never read this post. I’m just sayin’....
Apr, 30, 2007 Filed in: Pregnancy •Social Clutz Loveable Spaz •Mrs. Flinger Said So • Read the Archives 
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Oh, and don’t forget… if you get knocked up as a 16 year old, it’s almost a guarantee that NO ONE is going to start inquiring as to the status of having #2 at your baby’s first birthday party.
(Or maybe that’s just my family.)
By my family, I mean, inquiring about #2 the minute #1 turns one. None of us have gotten knocked up at 16.
(Yet.)
Oooh, good one! And yeeaaa.. I hear ya on that ...
BUT I WAS A TEEN MOM AND I DON’T STILL HAVE MY PERKY BOOBS! I want a refund, damn it!
How about having your parents there to help you out when your child is a nightmare and you desperately need a break? I could really use one of those today….
You are SO right on about this! I like Kate’s addition as well.
You will be sporting stretch marks and an episiotomy at your prom….
LOL! Friglet and Laura, nice additions. And Shelly.. shhhh, don’t tell my daughter but yea.. I think I had an epiphany.
#5 -about the sobriety, is my favorite. You have an excellent point. Well, except I WAS drinking at that age, so it doesn’t really apply to me.
agree! I almost think we are too late in the game now. oh well
Ah, but you forgot that when all your friends decide to have babies, you will be out touring the world since yours will be in college (Ok at least mine will be in college and I can enjoy the money I now have)
And you probably won’t even look pregnant the day you give birth. Pack your favorite jeans to wear home from the hospital.
ha ha ha…I understand the sentiments. My sister gave birth to her first at 21 and had a much easier time than me at 23…even just 2 years makes a big difference. And of course…that doesn’t make me feel any better knowing that I could be either 28, or turning 28 giving birth to my third…sigh.
LMAO…. Oh, how I wish I hadn’t waited til I was 38! I could have been a grandma by then…
I have tried to talk to Jay about this, my reasoning is this- lets not think necessarily about when we want to atart trying. We need to think about when we want first baby to actually BE here and count backwards from there. He didnt really get it. Me and my eggs arent gettin any younger
SarahGrace - Yea, My sister had three babies before 21 and wore her size 6 jeans out of the hospital each time. She has the smallest, perky boobs and hottest mom-bod EVER. Also, three of the easiest labors you’d ever hear.
Then? There’s me… thirty-one and dabbling too close to the 200 pound mark going in to delivery #2. (#1 was no picnic, trust me..)
Of course, it’s too late now…
Sara- I don’t think men remember the entire “growing a person” part of it. You know, since they don’t actually DO That part, it tends to fly out of their brains..
You’ll get to finish high school from home (most places)...
*snort* Yeah, I miss those semi perky boobs from a decade ago. And the days where I could function on four hours of sleep despite me working three jobs and it being finals week.
OMG… I about fell out of my chair reading this! Too funny and SO RIGHT ON!
When I was in Georgia they damn near encouraged pregnancy in high school. If you got preg you were sent to this “Knocked UP High” and it had a nursery, daycare and everything. And of course, it was a beautiful school.
Sometimes I think our messed up society WANTS it this way.
I loved this! Though I was pregnate at 17 and it took me 3 yrs to get back to my pre baby body. Then number 2 came along and have not had it since. love the humor in this!