Mr. Flinger: “If you don’t stop yelling in there, we’re going to send you outside to play all day and not let you in. We’ll put food in a dog dish and you can eat out there.”
Me: “Let’s make realistic threats to the children. We don’t own a dog dish.”
Mr. Flinger: “You’re right. Sorry. A BOWL.”Read more
The children are going to a Vacation Bible School this week to learn about Egypt, Some Old Dude and Eat Lots Of Candy and Eat Lots More Candy and sing some songs and Eat More Candy. At least, this is as reported by my oldest.
No, we are not religious, or rather, not in the traditional “there is a God” sort of way. But rather, I am deeply religious in the “there is cheap child care” sort of a way. And that, friends, is Heaven.
“You’re going to do what?”
“I’m going to eat less than 15 grams of sugar for ten days,” I reply exasperated. It’s the second conversation like this in as many minutes.
“Why ten days?”
“It’s all I can promise I might commit to.”
“You are honestly going to last ten days? .... “
“Hey, look, if Jesus can go in to the desert for 40 days... Read more
It is a purely financial decision, I keep telling myself. One that does not mean I am not loved by dozens of tons of ten people. It is not that I am not wanted, just that I can not, in no way at all, afford New York City right now. Like OMG NEW YORK CITY! Oh, but god, I want to be there.
So very fucking much.
This year it is not in the cards. They layoff, the house(s), the bills, the move. There is no single way I can justify NEW YORK when I’m hoping to hit Leiden and Germany in another month. No way. Just. None.
Even if my
God he is slow. Why is he going so slow? He is old. He can not drive well, as indicated by the dangling Handicap sign from his rear view mirror. This should be a clue to me to back off. He is trying. He is my elder. But he is making me late to Yoga.
And ohmygod I can not miss Yoga. Not today. Not today.
It becomes nearly comical as he pumps his breaks slowing to 25mph down the 35mph hill. COOOMMEEOONNN I groan. “Just put it in third gear, buddy. You can do it”. I’m coaxing him from my own vehicle not far enough back from his. I just want him to go. JUST... Read more
“Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”—The Princess Bride
I am an obvious... Read more
A truth I’ve known about myself for years: I have a very strong flight instinct. Some people stay and fight, some people flee. I am of the latter.
I’d make a fantastic bird.
“We can lift ourselves out of ignorance, we can find ourselves as creatures of excellence and intelligence and skill. We can be free! We can learn to fly!” - Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
There is a... Read more
We got married on the top of a small mountain on a tiny island off the north-western corner of the “lower forty-eight” states. My dress was twenty dollars from Ross and I wore my favorite combat boots I purchased at a consignment store for six dollars. It was November and a tiny group of our closest friends stood outside in the freezing cold with us.
I have never, once, ever regretted not having a big fancy white-dress wedding.
With increasing frequency, however, the subject of my Dissertation has entered casual conversation. I submitted... Read more
I have a laundry list of random bits I’ve believed because my parents told me so. Sometimes as an adult, I’ll start to say something, stop, and realize I’m uttering complete and total bullshit. Bullshit which I’ve heard a million times from my parents.
I probably need to see a counselor about such matters but instead, I will tell you.
I’ve posted about the day I realized my mother lied to me. We were on the airplane heading back to Houston after a visit to Portland, OR, and she sighed, “Oh, I forgot to replace the toilet paper in our... Read more