Mrs. Flinger: Based on a True Story

Because this is a blog and I’m hungry 12/Oct/2010

#Fitness#Weght Loss and Body Image

I’ve started a Liver Cleanse using this PaleoCleanse powder. Instructed by my Natural Path (I’m as hip as someone in California with a shrink and a personal yoga teacher ten years ago) I’m only eating veggies and having two of these here smoothies a day.

Smoothie is a stretch, actually. Thick, pasty goo with a hint of grainy sand is more like it.

MmMMMM Sand.

I sat there, in my doctor’s... Read more

Lessons I learned while traversing the world {Part 1: Holland} 10/Oct/2010

#Life#Best Of

Look, I get it. I was gone an entire 7 days. I’ve done Europe a total of three weeks in my life and I’ve only been in places where the water is drinkable and people mainly know English, even if they refuse to let on to that fact.

So when I say “World” here, I mean my very tiny portion of exploration. “World” is relative.

Traditionally I’ve enjoyed often moving locations, lands, homes. The year I spent back in Houston as an adult, taught me the value of community. My lesson that year showed me however much I hated living in the flat, humid land, I still met enough people to miss. I felt nearly grateful for this fact: A place is made up primarily of the people who occupy it.

It is in this vein I travel and recount... Read more

Eating Europe 08/Oct/2010

#Essays#Resources

In the past few months, I’ve painstakingly removed most processed food from our home and slowly moved my food purchases to the Farmer’s Markets and local butchers. Costco is no longer our grocery store, as I refuse to purchase anything with a shelf life longer than a week.

This is incovienent, true. But as we’ve discussed, good clean whole food is not only dirty, it is work.

Our ancestors lived this truth. Why should we ignore it?

Each time I travel to Europe, I lose weight while eating an abundance of wonderful food.  I’ve recently spent a week eating like a princess. The food, the markets, the coffee, the beer. BY GOD Europe is a lush place... Read more

The One Where I AM In Germany 05/Oct/2010

#Travel#Life

I can’t begin to explain how much fun I’ve had here in Germany. There are no words.

It’s a home away from home that I’ve known intimately, not in any small part to my hosts Betty and Christoph. It it without hesitation that I can confess this has been the best possible experience I could have hoped for. Germany, a home I am familiar with in ways I could not have touched until this very moment in my life.

Today as Betty and I sat at the Hotel Schloss Berg, we practiced my German. I said, over and over and over, “I would like Mint Tea with Rum, Please.” “Ich Hata Gerne Ienen Tee Mit Rum.” I noticed a very handsome man two tables away laughing. “I think he’s laughing at me!” I confide. Indeed, a second... Read more

The One Where I am In Holland 03/Oct/2010

#Travel

I’m sitting at a table in the train station I should’ve have been in. Rerouted from Leiden - Munich through Utrech. If this sounds like Greek to you, it sounds like Dutch to me.

I do not know Dutch.

I’m a fevery, sore throat, flu-like mess. Navigating additional stops and go on the train to see Betty. Feeling a bit like a lame American who only speaks English and one word of Dutch. And while it’s a very useful word (“met” means “with”) it’s not helpful to walk around like Beaker going, “MET MET MET MET”

In twenty minutes I’m on a train and then another train and then another and finally a fourth train that will arrive in Munchen at 17:34. I have learned so much this trip so far, have bonded... Read more

I will never judge someone drinking a single malt at 10 AM at gate S9 ever again 28/Sep/2010

#Travel#Life#Working Mom

I admit, I noticed her coffee mug first. I don’t know why, it was a perfectly normal coffee mug. Perhaps it was the size of it (Good for water, I thought) or the way it slanted in the pouch of her backpack (Must be empty, I considered). These are the types of thoughts my mind created to keep me from tearing up. I didn’t want to think about leaving my crying preschooler again. I didn’t want to think about him sobbing and yelling, “I WANT TO GO WIFF YOU!” with his scratchy, sore throat in a fever fit. I didn’t want the Mommy Guilt to hijack my mind. “You are a shitty mother, a selfish mother, a fucking god-awful mother.” So instead, I looked at her coffee cup.

At some point I realized I was staring at her. The train whizzed through a... Read more

Have I mentioned I’m going to Holland tomorrow? 27/Sep/2010

#Travel

Maybe this is old news to you because you talk to me daily, in real life, and I don’t go three point eight seconds without saying, “OHHMYGOD I AM GOING TO EUROPE IN $variableTime(‘9/28-currendDay()’);”

P.S. I actually speak in code.

But in case you don’t happen to talk to me daily in which I call or text you begging you to go boot shopping with me because A GIRL NEEDS BOOTS, then maybe this is actually news for you:

I am going to Holland tomorrow.

Remember Holland?

I’m a more experienced traveler this year. For example, I know that when I land in Holland, I’ll have to take a train to Leiden and that I can not... Read more

Obama beats both Jesus and the Dalai Lama One ‘Nothin’ 27/Sep/2010

#Life

Upon no recommendation what-so-ever, in fact, upon recommendation against, I went to friendorfollow.com. You know, it’s a twitter thing? You can see who is following you and who is not following you and you can subsequently drink heavily because your coolness factor just went down by a factor of four.

So imagine my horror when I find out Jesus doesn’t actually love me like the bible says. In fact, Jesus is sort of an arrogant asshole on twitter. I mean, I GET IT. If I have seventy billion people pining for my attention, I’d probably cut back on my following list, too. But to not even follow Mary The VIrgin Mother? Dude, that’s harsh.

Read more

I hope you wore all your white shoes yesterday: AKA Goodbye to Summer 07/Sep/2010

Yesterday closed out the last of the official White Shoe Wearing Season. I always hate to see that time of year go. Symbolically, I wore black sandals and froze my feet while wading in three inch puddles to various “summer” events. TAKE THAT SHOE GODS.

I’m not ready for fall, for football, for colourful trees. I’m not ready to for long nights and dreary days. But when I think about what I have to look forward to, I’m thankful the people in my life are still here going through each season with me. Each season makes our space more like home.

So with that tone, I say good-bye to a summer full of people we love, even if it was entirely too short, in a 4:58 video.

Read more

Dissecting a PHP error: ExpressionEngine Twitter Timeline 31/Aug/2010

#Work

I thought I’d take this opportunity to share a bit about PHP errors. I often have clients tell me, “My site exploded!” My brain construes an image akin to Ghost Busters where we learn crossing the beams of your proton pack is a bad idea.

*GOODBYE STAY PUFT*

image

A php error, often obscure (think: parse error) can have a fair bit of helpful information in it.

For example:

This morning my site had an fugly php error at the header.

image

After a quick look, I can... Read more