Mrs. Flinger: Based on a True Story

Good night, Sleep tight, Don’t let the bed bugs bite 17/May/2010

Riddle me this: Full size bed, two adults. One person gets eaten alive nightly while the other blissfully sleeps through everything including children screaming, bitten-adult turning on lights and cussing, and possibly a small earthquake.

Y’all, I’m getting eaten.alive.in.my.bed.

It’s been going on for a week now. I thought we had a spider so I changed the sheets and washed the bedding. It came back. My legs are all chewed up, my hips have red bumps on them and the bites are migrating north to my neck. I swear to god I have a teeny-tiny Edward Cullen sucking his way through all my veins. No, actually, I enjoy that image too much. Maybe it’s more like a very tiny family of spiders, or a bunch of bed bugs?

Which, while I’m at it, DO... Read more

I guess the real question is, would you have to look for me in the fetish section, too? 16/May/2010

#Fitness#Weght Loss and Body Image

A few weeks ago, I attended an amazing panel about our girls being “sexy too soon” by Parent Map. I was asked to tweet about the event during the discussion and received a ton of great feedback via twitter regarding the content of the session. It was well done and truly full of wonderful ideas to reach out to our girls.

However.

As I grabbed the courage to stand and ask a question, an Asian lady stood up before me to ask hers. “It’s taken us two hours and we haven’t talked about race,” she said. The room fell silent. The all white panel stammered. “Um, yea…” The question-asker went on, “You know where my husband has to go find porn that looks like me? The FETISH section. That’s because we over-romanticize... Read more

Mother’s Day 2010: Epic Awesomesauce 10/May/2010

Mother’s Day started early. Saturday night my friend Ashley picked me up in her awesome mobile to head to our favorite local restaurant.

Ashley's Car

We met Trix there and she totally smelled my hair.

Purple- The Night...
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I make a terrible fairy-tale princess, a crappy mormon, a shitty buddhist and a worse country wife 07/May/2010

We have mice. When I tell this to people they laugh. “Welcome to the country,” they say. They tell me to get a cat. They tell me this is part of being surrounded by all this land.

Last night we saw a mouse. Instead of being the calm, rational person “they” expect me to be, I jumped on a chair while yelling, “KILL THE FUCKER” and simultaneously pouring a glass of wine. It was not my proudest moment.

My daughter has lived with invisible mice for nearly three years. It started one night after introducing her to Cinderella. I asked her doctor about it when one cute “invisible mouse” turned in to two years, a million mice, and actual conversations between them. My daughter often draws all of her mice in her pictures, a group of... Read more

Moms, Business, Family and Pepperidge Farm 06/May/2010

#Life

I don’t always believe in Fate. I want to keep my life organized in such a way it does not possibly involve anything other than my own strength. But sometimes I have to confess that there are strong coincidences that can not, nor should be, over-looked. I had no idea this post would be one of them.

When Blog Nosh Magazine came to me with an offer to read about and reflect on the founder of Pepperidge Farm, I said yes without truly understanding the impact this would have. I did not know I would lose my job this week, nor could I have known how much I would identify with Margaret Rudkin. Truly, I did not appreciate the exact timing of such an offer.

I do now.

Sitting in my “Read more

Mommy Time Out 05/May/2010

#Life

I’m sitting in mommy time out. The children are on their beds reading. Supposedly. Since my last post wherein I promise to be funny at least two more times, a lot has changed. The last few months have cumulated to this one night wherein I totally lose my shit on the children during bath time.

And now I sit in time out.

I can point to a variety of excuses, reasons, I’m feeling so… Off. So.. Depressed. So… Tired. I acknowledge my depression, my monster-in-the-closet that is mostly kept at bay 99% of the year. I recognize this huge success that only 1% of the time I find myself wanting to stay in bed, drink too much wine, sit and ignore the world.... Read more

How to not write like a douche 28/Apr/2010

#Life#Mother F.U.C.K.E.R.#Rants and Raves

motherfk

Listen up, Blogosphere. This is part 1 of a 3 part series.

That’s right. What I have to say is so important, I am going to do it in three installments. This? Is number one.

Here is a short post on how to not write like a douche.

Its, It’s
Its is possessive. The book is torn and its page is wrinkled.
It’s is a contraction of it and is. It’s about to rain.

You’re vs Your
Editors note: This one makes my tongue curl to the back of my throat and sputter strange noises only gophers understand, so listen up.
You’re is a... Read more

I started Weight Watchers last week possibly not a day too soon. 25/Apr/2010

#Fitness#Weght Loss and Body Image

About a week ago, I decided to join Weight Watchers. I’ve posted a lot of my weight loss struggle here, and as it turns out, I’m still at the exact.same.weight I was after having losing the Man Child’s pregnancy weight.

ugh

That very same Man Child, the apple of his Mother’s Eye, announced something last week:

Read more

Sometimes you just have to laugh 24/Apr/2010

#Life

image

One of the greatest joys of having children is how they “keep you young.” (And by that I mean give you gray hair and wrinkles).

My children come from a long line of silly.

image

Their dad and I are silly.
My New Favorite Shot EVAH

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Flinger FAQ 21/Apr/2010

#Life#Getting to know me#The Flinger Family

It’s been a long time that I’ve been blogging in this little space. There are a lot of things you already know about me. You know more about my womanly cycle than I do most of the time and you know how to talk my engineer husband in to getting a vasectomy. You know the day I knew I would marry him and you knew the day I peed on a used pregnancy test and called the doctor sobbing because I wasn’t ready for another baby. You were with me during the Read more