Mrs. Flinger: Based on a True Story

Be vewy vewy quiet 19/Feb/2010

#Life#The Flinger Family

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I feel a bit like Elmer Fudd these days. I can see the rabbit, our house, just right——-> there. Right now we’re close. We’re SO CLOSE. We have a closing date that is nearly impossible to believe. We have boxes in the house. We have painters coming. We have a zillion tons of energy and hope surging through our family. We buzz in anticipation.

But oh god do not say a word or you’ll scare it.

Denial is a funny thing. Denial says not to pack a single box until you know for sure. But denial hears good news and waits. Denial hears a closing date and doubts. Denial looks around the house and thinks,... Read more

Because there are huge images on this blog 17/Feb/2010

#Life#Posts that suck

Wow. Apparently I think you’re all blind. Or slightly blind. Or have the terrible eyesight I have.

500 pixel mix tapes. HELLO!

Really, I just wanted to push that huge tape down a post. I have posts. In my head. And all you get is some hopped-up-on-pain-killers dribble about the Olympics.

That’s right. PAINKILLERS.

No, wait, THE OLYMPICS ON DRUGS.

But legal.

I have a failed root canal that got an infection and turned me in to a 34 year old woman in the fetal position on the couch moaning, “MYTEEFMYTEEF.” It was so attractive.

I begged three dentists to DO SOMETHING OMG and one did. Anti-biotics and Vicodin. And a new! root! canal! to look forward to. I win.

I bet those skaters are hopped up on... Read more

The Best Meat Loaf 17/Feb/2010

#Recipe-Dinner

My family loves meat loaf. Well, they love this meat loaf. The kids love to help me make it by squishing the ingredients together with their hands. They feel so empowered that they made their own dinner, it’s never a fight to have them finish it.

Truly, you have no idea how miraculous those words are.

I promised you the recipe and here I am delivering. FINALLY. GAWD. (Sorry)

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3/4 cup Ketchup (we use organic low-sugar)
3/4 cup quaker oats
4 egg whites
1c salsa
1 Onion chopped
1 1/4 pd lean ground turkey
1pkg Knorr dry vegetable soup... Read more

We made you mixed tapes 14/Feb/2010

That’s love yo. That’s love.

From Mrs. Flinger to You, The Interwebz
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Right Click and Save As for Download

Songs
Adelaide by Old 97’s
Whistle For The Choir by The Fratellis
High School Stalker by Hello Saferide
The World’s Greatest by Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy
Sea Green, See Blue by Jaymay
Anyone Else But You by The Moldy Peaches
You Love Me by Kimya Dawson
Bury Me Closer by Palomar
Chariots by Joseph... Read more

I always knew I was Demi and he was my Ashton 11/Feb/2010

#Life#Rants and Raves

We don’t “DO” Valentine’s Day. We never have. We do “The Discount Chocolate Day” on February 15th, but not a day before. We do “let’s go to the mountain today” or “let’s make home-made cookies” or “let’s go to the beach” but we don’t do Vday.

Vday is too.. I dunno.. Venereal sounding for me.

I’ve always told Mr. Flinger if I asked him to do something nice for me on Valentine’s day it means he’s in deep shit. VERY deep shit. Instead, I prefer not getting a dozen roses or a card with a half-assed scribbled, “with love,... Read more

Carb Swap- A Great Alternative Pancake 11/Feb/2010

#Recipe-Breakfast

I’ve started reducing our sugar intake thanks to The Belly Fat Cure and half a dozen other resources that have scared the ever-living-shit out of me in regards to sugar.


DEATH IN A PACKET ZOMG.

Sweet, lovely, death.

Anyway, so I’ve cut back on our sugar. Turns out? You only need about 15g of sugar A... Read more

Desk is to Chair as Ass is to Spreading Wildly Without Concern Of Emotional Recoil 09/Feb/2010

#Fitness#Weght Loss and Body Image

Here’s something. You remember those horrific questions on the SAT and GRE? Those “This is to That as That is to _____” and then you have to pick from a list that matches NOTHING and OMG my fourteenth #2 pencil just broke and I need a smoke and I don’t even smoke.

I’m a living proof those standardize tests do two things:
1. Prove nothing. I was told, after each test, to just go live barefoot in the kitchen because you stupid whore, you can’t even do a multiple choice test well and mygod what will society do with a creative thinker? and
b) traumatize me forever.

Which is obvious with the start of this post.

In other traumatic, although not unexpected news, I’ve gained weight. That’s right, laugh all you... Read more

Avatar + Rush Limbaugh = Me 04/Feb/2010

#Life#Getting to know me#Mother F.U.C.K.E.R.#The Flinger Family

Small fact:

This is your brain.

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This is your brain completely consumed on the dream house you are still waiting to hear about while playing cat - n - mouse with the Dept. of Ed.

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(Your brain is the fleshy delicious goodness of pig fat in this scenario.)

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Update: If this goes much longer my pig fat will be grilled and buttered before I have the... Read more

Reality Check 31/Jan/2010

#Life

I know in the large scheme of things, this will all seem like an over-dramatic reenactment of some time in our life we’ll totally forget. I know there are bigger worries. I’m reminded daily watching one of my dearest friends stay positive in a high risk pregnancy waiting for a blood clot three times the size of her baby to dissolve. I see my sister face a year without her husband as he gets deployed to Korea. I know my mom is going in for surgery on her shoulder and ultimately her neck where they take a piece of bone from her leg and use it to... Read more

Inexplicable pain, heartache, and why I continue to fight 30/Jan/2010

I read the email at 7AM friday morning. I dropped the phone and clutched my stomach. “Noooo” I could hardly breathe.

It was true, I was sure it was true. My groggy mind tried to form the words. “We lost the house.” I said it out loud just to be sure I was awake.

“We lost the house” Louder now with more force.

“WE LOST THE HOUSE” I ran to the bathroom to get Mr. Flinger who was busy getting ready for a normal day. A regular Friday.

But this was no longer a regular Friday.

He looked boggled, confused, unsure. I began to sob. “Wait, calm down, what?”

Unable to speak I pulled him downstairs and showed him the email. The lender denied us. My credit score fell over 120 points this one... Read more