My children were playing “little fucker” at Home Depot?
Now, look, before you get all judgy, let me just preface this with a post I wrote two years ago to prove I have no idea what I’m doing as a parent. Ok? I had a plan. I had a theory. That theory sucked.
In retrospect, the “time and a place” mantra could work. Teaching your children that anyone can say anything as long as it is the appropriate time and place is rather discerning. I don’t want to... Read more
We’ve practiced this routine for years. Perhaps not exactly as performed, but we’ve spent years slowing building to this precipice. I know my partner is standing on the platform. I know my pole awaits. I am as prepared as I’ll ever be as I climb the steep set of narrow stairs one after another.
My feet dangle on the narrow step, my heels hanging off abrupt edges. If there was wind in the arena, I would feel it brushing the bottoms of my feet as I walk higher than air.
I dare not glance down. I dare not look up.
The lights dim and I take my place.... Read more
“WHY is Mommy wearing her scarf and coat and shoes? WHY?!” The question comes from my small man wrestling on the couch with his dad. It’s one of his favorite games to play. “Wrestle with me, Daddy!” He’s as joyful as he gets, rumbling around dictating points and I wins and no, that’s a tie. As happy as he gets so long as we’re all there, together, in the room. “Mommy is going to go finish up some work, Buddy.” The answer send him screaming to the kitchen. “NO! I WANNA GO WIFF YOU! NO! I WANNA GO, TOO!”... Read more
“Actually, I don’t wear boobies right now because I’m a little kid. You wear boobies because you’re a mommy. When I grow up and are a Mommy I will wear boobies, too, right? And OH LOOK my race cars just crashed that was funny. Whoever gets to the side of the closet first wines. Are you still getting dressed? Oh, you’re wearing a red shirt like I am! Look I’m wearing red, too! Did you see? Now can you see? I’m wearing red, too! SEE? IT IS RED? DID YOU SEE IT? RED. RED. Oh, can we do pizza tonight. Now can you play race cars with me? Why are you still... Read more
“Um, do you have sage?” I ask at Whole Foods. It seems logical that if one would need something to cleanse spirits, Whole Foods would have it.
You know: Hippies and all that.
“You mean for burning?” I clearly don’t know what I’m talking about. I think you burn it. I’m not sure what I’m looking for but I’ve been told by at least four people to try a sage cleanse for our house so this year will be infinitely better than the last. Sage... Read more
This time of year makes my skin itch. Mainly because the heat is always on and the air is so dry, but ALSO because the weblog awards come out about now and everyone gets all weird about it. Everyone says “those are SOOOO 2004.” But let me tell you, I was in them (ok, one) in 2004, and I’m not proud to admit that I buckle under the pressure of a pretend award like the zipper of my jeans do on Thanksgiving.
That doesn’t stop me from nominating you, though.
As “they” say, I hope it truly is just a joy to be nominated because you have been.... Read more
I’ve written about The Red Tent before. I loved this book about womanly camaraderie based in fictional ancient biblical times. It’s the sort of book that makes a lady a feminist. You practically wanna shout to your random... Read more
Blogrolls are IN. Blogrolls are contervesial! They’re outdated! YOU SUCK ‘cause I’M NOT LISTED.
List me and I’ll list you?
I took my blogroll down several versions of design ago. I knew it was outdated. I knew some of my blogger friends moved to facebook only or ditched the online world completely. But I have to confess, I often forget to click and read, even for a minute, without your shiny faces, avatars, logos, whatever, over there smiling at me.
And yes, it’s out of date. I took out a few links that were so old the... Read more
I don’t really “DO” New Year’s Resolution, yanno? I see it as just one more thing to fail at by the third week, oh who am I kidding, the third day in to the New Year.
Oddly enough, my boss told me to embrace failing this year. “Try to fail more this year” he said.
There’s a theory to this and it sounded as eloquent as shit when he told it to me. I just can recollect that right now.
But I get the point: Don’t be afraid to fail. You’re not trying if you’re not... Read more
It was time, past time, to pick the winner of my “what super hero would you be” content for a Freelancer license.
To be fair, I did draw Laura’s number first. But, as she confessed, she has no shortage of licenses, what with being married to the president and all, so I redrew. I’m thrilled THRILLED to announce a friend of mine in the EE community, Matt Robin won the license.... Read more