UPDATE TO Mrs. Flinger October 16, 2015
Because the Universe has a wicked sense of humor, after this delcaration, my blog threw up all over my last upgrade.
So I'm starting over using Craft. Turning 40 and kid entering Jr High next year, sometimes it's just time for a change. These archives will still exist in the way the last child goes off to college and their room is the same for 20 years, but it's just time to move forward.
When your child sleeps Jun 25, 2005
I am currently sitting in the back of our SUV with the doors open in our driveway working. The child fell asleep just as we were coming home and is so out of it, she didn’t move when we got out the groceries, the stroller, the dogs. In fact, she’s so peacefull, we left her. Mr. Flinger says, “How come they don’t make carriers for big kids.” Well, ya see, ‘cause Moms don’t want t haul around 5 year olds in a carrier to and from the car. Instead, they’d rather sit in the back enjoying some sun and blogging.
Amen for the convertable car seat. Guess I can’t do laundry from here, hu.
It’s Friday? WTF? Jun 24, 2005
MIL left today about noon. I woke up at 11am this morning for the first actual sleep I’ve had in 6 days. Aside from sweating, tossing and turning, not breathing, puking and not being able to eat, the last week is a blur. I was finally given antibiotics on Wednesday night after going back to the doctor. I
had Strep Throat. Strep is not a terminal illness, but I swear, I was dying.
I’m 36 hours into antibiotics and while my throat still holds on to some of the pussy legions (groooossss), there are a lot less of them, I can (almost) swallow and I feel like dancing. Kinda.
I’m busy, y’all. BUSY. I got another class to teach this August, I have a few designs and I’m scrounging up my past work (which sucks.. woah.. I didn’t realize how much I’ve learned) to add to my portfolio. I’m torn if I should even post past work. Of course I’m capable of more now, but it’s a simple design that I used to use, so I probably will tout it.
The book club.. Ahhh, yes.. are y’all reading?? I’ve been sick and able to read Hypocrite in a Puffy White Dress for hours, y’all. HOURS. I’m on page 260-something. Y’all, this book KICKS ASSSS. I love it. I’ve laughed amid fever chills and puking. THAT is a good book. It’s been great to go to a place where I’m not me, I’m not dying, and I’m a lesbian newspaper reporter (my favorite chapter thus far) instead. So, lemme know where y’all are at. You’ve got another week or so.. (we can extend it if you want). In fact, how’s this? Shall we.. say.. extend Hypocrite in a Puffy White Dress until July 10th and start Harry Potter on July 16th? Anyone up for that?
Is there onion in my carrot cake or am I pregnant? Jun 22, 2005
Did I tell you that when I was pregnant, everything smelled like onion? My friend’s shampoo was onion. My husband seeped onion into our room at night while he breathed and I’d come in from the bathroom and gag from the smell. The dish soap was onion. The laundry, fresh out of the dryer, smelled like onion. I gagged from all the onion smell all the time. I grew to hate onions. I still cant eat them.
What I’ve really been up to besides puking Jun 21, 2005
I’m not just about lying in bed feeling like totally crap. heckno. I’ve got things brewin’.
chicka chicka bow wow **Edited** Jun 20, 2005
So, the good news is I’m not dying. It’s a virus. A good ol’ shitty virus. I went to the doctor, came home, curled up in a freezing cold ball under two down comforters and fell asleep for a few hours. I was at 101.5 when I came home and now am back down (PRAISE THE LORD FOR TYLENOL) to 99.
Did I tell you I have pink eye? I do. Yea, gave myself a freakin’ infection from RUBBING MY EYE TOO MUCH with allergies. Sexy. Also? I’m hot and sitting on the bed now, in my bra tank and panties and the satelite guy just came to fix the satelite. It’s like some really really really bad porno…..
“Hey, sexy, can I rub my eye on you or cough all over your sexy handsome body? Yea, baby.. I’m hot.. feel me.. fevery hot.. **cough cough** **wretch, puke** Rauuur…”
**Mr. Flinger is here to take care of me so at no time did the satelite guy actually SEE my sexy body (poor him, hu?) But the stupid guy left the back gate open FIVE HOURS AGO and one of our dogs took off. Buddy is gone. Y’all… where the HELL could Buddy have gone to?? Have you ever lost a dog? Damn mutt. Our numbers are on his tag. It’d be nice if someone called (if he’s not dead on the busy road near by)... :(
Come home Buddy.. Come home!
Have I told you I’m a hypochondriac? I am and this can’t be good. Jun 20, 2005
I woke up today with a 101.5 fever. I’m sick, ya’ll. Achy, tummy, stuffy, sore throat sick. Also, my neck hurts. I figured it’s from being all achy? Well, the nurse just asked if I had a stiff neck, yes, I say, I do. That answer got me an appointment. Shit. What does that mean? She said, “Just to be sure it’s not something more serious.”
Now I’m scared I’m going to die.. must… google.. stiff… neck…
Oh, lord… bacterial meningitis? Spinal tap?? Surely they won’t do a spinal tap on me… right? RIGHT?!
Ok, so it’s probably just the virus LB had, right.. ok.. I’m breathing.. have all the symptoms.. am.. breathing..
“Early diagnosis and treatment is the key to survival with normal function and no deafness.” Well, that’s good.
A letter to the Feds Jun 18, 2005
Dear the Federal Government:
I realize you are busy, you know, saving our ass, collecting taxes and taking over the world and all that but I have a request. Can you please please make the use of cell phones in public illegal? You see, old women have no idea they are not the only people in the universe. It is, without a doubt, a daily occurrence that some middle-age woman will get a call and yell, “HELLO? HELLO? WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU. WHAT? I’M AT [fill in the blank]. OH, YES, WELL MARVEY GOT HIS COCK-N-BALLS LOOKED AT AND THE DOCTOR SAID IT’S A VIRAL FUNGUS. I KNOW. WELL, YOU SEE, THERE’S ALL THIS PUSS AND….”
Although the real trouble with the world is a lack of community and general compassion, there also seems to be a great misunderstanding of public space. If you could find it in your heart to ban cell phones, or perhaps ban loud, obnoxious middle-aged women? Either way, the world would become a better place.
A woman coming into middle aged much too quickly but who has the social understanding that a cell phone can be spoken into just like a regular phone. Thankyouverymuch.
Part 2 bitchin’ Jun 17, 2005
Oh, eff it. I can’t remember part 2 or 3. I got a chocolate chip cookie and somehow forgot.
I could come up with something.. I’m sure.. but I’m too busy enjoying my cookie.
I wish life was that easy.
For Karma’s sake Jun 17, 2005
To weigh out my bitchy post, I thought I’d add that today I zipped on my size 10 pre pregnancy jeans. Oh, sure, I can’t sit down or take a deep breath, but they’re on. Never mind my belly spillover, but looky! THEY ARE ON!
Would you do it? Jun 16, 2005
Could you stay motivated if you might win a million dollars? Yea, I don’t know if I could, either, but I’m gonna try.