Mrs. Flinger: Based on a True Story

Community 02/Aug/2009

#Family Life

I watch the clock. 12:24. 12:25. ...

My daughter rambles on in the back-seat about her hair and her dress. “AnnaBella is going to LOVE my dress, Mommy!”

She has no idea what a failure I am.

She chats on and on about her invisible mice and her dress and her school friends and whose birthday it was today and whose birthday is next. I can barely hear her beneath my own self talk, “Great Big Parenting Fail. Can’t get child to a single thing on time, let alone a birthday party within two hours of the start. Well done, loser.”

I grab my iPhone, shaking the GPS one more time. I know where I’m going. I thought I did, at least. But the streets aren’t looking familiar.

We arrive, at last, as the sound of... Read more

The Tale of Costco (aka: Why you are thankful you don’t live by us) 31/Jul/2009

#Family Life

I hate Costco. I hate Costco the way alcoholics hate bars. The way recovering smokers hate Neil Diamond concerts.

My children, they amplify the situation.

We call Costco the $100 store. It’s the place you walk in needing two things and walk out with a tab well over $100. “We need diapers and toothpaste.” I mark it off the list. An hour and seventeen items later, the cashier says, “$234 dollars please.” Every. Single. Time.

My children begin to foam at the mouth about a mile before the turn in. “Are we going to COSTCO?!” my four year old yells. “Yes!” I reply. My two year old says, “SAMPLE? SAMPLE?” And then the foaming, it gets worse until the time we actually walk in to the store and I’m... Read more

My son will already make a wonderful husband. And he’s two. 30/Jul/2009

#Family Life

As a girl, with a mom of girls, I never truly “got” the Mama’s Boy thing. But it happened before he was born. I thought it was because he was my second born, the baby I could comprehend before I saw him, the kicking that I already understood deep inside my belly.

Now I know it was because of him. Who he is.

I have two children and I connected with them both. I understand my daughter from a “been there” perspective. I can read her and I remember what it was like being a four year old starting ballet. I understand when she just needs time without her younger sibling and I identify with some of her frustrations with school friends.

But my son? My son gets ME. My two year old will ask, “k? Mommy?” If I cough. He will come up... Read more

My brush, literally, with fame (a blogHer tale) 29/Jul/2009

**April, 2013** Hello and welcome! If this is your first time here, I’d love to meet you. I’ve recently written about being diagnosed with Adult ADHD, spent much of last year traveling and went back to work full time as a Program Manager for Media at a large global company. My children are 8 and 6 and I love talking to people with similar stories. Be sure to say hi and pull up a chair. I’ll grab the coffee. (Or tea for my UK friends with milk and sugar.)**


I walked in to the keynote, searching the thousands of faces to find “my... Read more

I am. 25/Jul/2009

#{w}rite-of-passage

I picture Jesus sitting at his laptop alone in his hotel room in Jerusalem.  He’s kicked off his sandals (marketed simply as “Jesus Sandals”) and stretches as he launches notepad. He has an inspired word and he begins to type. He starts: “I am Jesus. I want to share with you some ideas I have. Simple, easy ideas that will bring us all together. I want to give us community and peace and harmony. This world is a fucked up one, but I believe we are each able to contribute to the happiness of others. Cut the bullshit. Let’s love.”

He eyes his writing wondering if it’s too harsh. He hits the backspace key 413 times Click Click Click Click Click… He stops short and leaves the “I am.”

I am.

He ponders... Read more

Five Reasons You Will Not Be A Dork At BlogHer (so stop worrying about it) 15/Jul/2009

#Side Notes

Last year I popped my BlogHer cherry. I went with my my close friends and we were there for each other to share shoes and do makeup and hair and in general ease the fears of our own insecurities. Or rather, they eased mine. (They don’t know a lot of bloggers so it was, “Hu, who’s that again? Who’s Isabell?” and I whisper “She’s kinda a big deal”)

Because I am… well… me, I do things in a Flinger sort of a way. Let’s recap the top five Flingerisms from BlogHer 08 and why you can rest assured you will do better, shall we?

1. I randomly hug pregnant women when pregnant. Two different occasions I found myself hugging (randomly) Read more

The Ugly 13/Jul/2009

#Family Life

Sometimes I have The Ugly. The Ugly tends to show up when I’m emotional, irrational, bloated, tired or overwhelmed. The Ugly can start from anything: a facebook update, a tweet, a post, a real life jab.

The Ugly? It sucks.

It sucks out my happiness, my joy, my security, my stamina, my confidence. It reduces a good, healthy, happy 33 year old woman in to a 15 year old girl with zits and generic jeans.

The Ugly, it is bad.

I often recognize The Ugly as just what it is: Ugly. I see it from my place of confidence and can see through its irrationality. But when The Ugly strikes, its loud voice takes over my own and pushes all the confidence down in to one big pile of jealousy.

The Ugly can wear anything but it usually shows up in sweats and... Read more

Facebook, you’re forgiven 10/Jul/2009

#The College Angsty Years#Family Life

Whatever issues I’ve had with facebook, and I have, are gone today. Suddenly today I saw the most amazing use of facebook and I’m thankful over and over for it.

I’ve mentioned my friend Amy who’s breast cancer took us from her family and friends entirely too early. It hit home too close and too hard for me. It was hard.

I was unable to make it to her memorial here in town. I was sad for that fact but I forgave myself because I knew I would’ve lost my shit if I’d gone. I mean The Big Ugly Crying.

But the community that Amy created around herself and those who knew her is a wonderful one and I did miss out on celebrating Amy’s life with them. Until today.

Today I went to her Facebook page just because I was thinking... Read more

Good Luck With That 09/Jul/2009

#Family Life

I walked by a glowing extremely pregnant woman. Her friend handed her a bag with some baby booty in it. I chuckled. I couldn’t help myself. I CHUCKLED. They looked up at me and I recovered, smiled, and continued on my way.

In my head I was picturing what the card would say. I chuckled again. It could be any of the following:

Outside: Congrats New Momma! You’re going to spend the next five years trying to get your pre-baby body back!
Inside: Good luck with that.

image

Outside: Congrats On Your New Bundle! They don’t sleep through the night until they’re teenagers.
Inside: Good luck with... Read more

I love you, even if you are two 08/Jul/2009

It’s 2:45AM. I’ve been asleep for two hours. I hear the familiar call from a tiny man, “Mommy! Mommy!’ I’m in his room before I open my eyes.

I get him milk, his Thomas Trains and put him back to bed.

It’s 6:00 AM and I hear the familiar call from a tiny man, “Mommy! Mommy!” I’m in his room before I open my eyes.

I pick him up hoping to give his sister a few more minutes of sleep. He asks for milk. I turn to get him some.

He starts screaming.

It’s 7:00 AM and he’s still screaming.

Finally, having had enough of this, I coax him in to eating a banana and watching LIttle Einstines so I can get the family ready to go.

It’s 7:45 AM and the family is ready to leave.... Read more