I snore. Bad. Here’s a secret: Once, when I was pregnant, I shit you not, I called the hospital to ask if I could hurt the baby from snoring at night. I’m dead serious. I think they laughed but I meant how the hell is my child getting enough OXYGEN through my stuffed up, messed up nose? Hu?Read more
Since I was tagged by both Erin and Sara for this little bloggy go-around me me and linky love, I thought I’d post one there and one other there. So as I get to tag TEN people and you have to hear A LOT about me. Muhahahaha.Read more
I am currently sitting in the back of our SUV with the doors open in our driveway working. The child fell asleep just as we were coming home and is so out of it, she didn’t move when we got out the groceries, the stroller, the dogs. In fact, she’s so peacefull, we left her. Mr. Flinger says, “How come they don’t make carriers for big kids.” Well, ya see, ‘cause Moms don’t want t haul around 5 year olds in a carrier to and from the car. Instead, they’d rather sit in the back enjoying some sun and blogging.
Amen for the convertable car seat. Guess I can’t do laundry from here, hu.Read more
MIL left today about noon. I woke up at 11am this morning for the first actual sleep I’ve had in 6 days. Aside from sweating, tossing and turning, not breathing, puking and not being able to eat, the last week is a blur. I was finally given antibiotics on Wednesday night after going back to the doctor. I
had Strep Throat. Strep is not a terminal illness, but I swear, I was dying.
I’m 36 hours into antibiotics and while my throat still holds on to some of the pussy legions (groooossss), there are a lot less of them, I can (almost) swallow and I feel like dancing. Kinda.
I’m busy, y’all. BUSY. I got another class to teach this August, I have a few designs and I’m scrounging up my past work (which sucks..... Read more
Did I tell you that when I was pregnant, everything smelled like onion? My friend’s shampoo was onion. My husband seeped onion into our room at night while he breathed and I’d come in from the bathroom and gag from the smell. The dish soap was onion. The laundry, fresh out of the dryer, smelled like onion. I gagged from all the onion smell all the time. I grew to hate onions. I still cant eat them.Read more
I’m not just about lying in bed feeling like totally crap. heckno. I’ve got things brewin’.Read more
So, the good news is I’m not dying. It’s a virus. A good ol’ shitty virus. I went to the doctor, came home, curled up in a freezing cold ball under two down comforters and fell asleep for a few hours. I was at 101.5 when I came home and now am back down (PRAISE THE LORD FOR TYLENOL) to 99.
Did I tell you I have pink eye? I do. Yea, gave myself a freakin’ infection from RUBBING MY EYE TOO MUCH with allergies. Sexy. Also? I’m hot and sitting on the bed now, in my bra tank and panties and the satelite guy just came to fix the satelite. It’s like some really really really bad porno…..
“Hey, sexy, can I rub my eye on you or cough all over your sexy handsome body? Yea, baby.. I’m hot.. feel me.. fevery hot.. **cough... Read more
I woke up today with a 101.5 fever. I’m sick, ya’ll. Achy, tummy, stuffy, sore throat sick. Also, my neck hurts. I figured it’s from being all achy? Well, the nurse just asked if I had a stiff neck, yes, I say, I do. That answer got me an appointment. Shit. What does that mean? She said, “Just to be sure it’s not something more serious.”
Now I’m scared I’m going to die.. must… google.. stiff… neck…
Oh, lord… bacterial meningitis? Spinal tap?? Surely they won’t do a spinal tap on me… right? RIGHT?!
Ok, so it’s probably just the virus LB had, right.. ok.. I’m breathing.. have all the symptoms.. am.. breathing..
“Early diagnosis and treatment is the key to... Read more
Dear the Federal Government:
I realize you are busy, you know, saving our ass, collecting taxes and taking over the world and all that but I have a request. Can you please please make the use of cell phones in public illegal? You see, old women have no idea they are not the only people in the universe. It is, without a doubt, a daily occurrence that some middle-age woman will get a call and yell, “HELLO? HELLO? WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU. WHAT? I’M AT [fill in the blank]. OH, YES, WELL MARVEY GOT HIS COCK-N-BALLS LOOKED AT AND THE DOCTOR SAID IT’S A VIRAL FUNGUS. I KNOW. WELL, YOU SEE, THERE’S ALL THIS PUSS AND….”
Although the real trouble with the world is a lack of community and general compassion, there also seems to be a great... Read more
Oh, eff it. I can’t remember part 2 or 3. I got a chocolate chip cookie and somehow forgot.
I could come up with something.. I’m sure.. but I’m too busy enjoying my cookie.
I wish life was that easy.Read more