The room is hot today. Hotter than usual. I ponder this as my heart races.
Perhaps it is not the room, but my head.
Thoughts pound within the sides of my skull. Anger, frustration, uncertainty. I hear the sound of the room breathing, Pranayama. In. Out. In. Out.
We begin our salutations. I stretch. I try to release. My tummy folds on itself and I judge it. I feel myself tense and I release again. I remind myself it birthed two children that I love dearly and not to hate it for its work.
I breath in again. And out.
We fold in to downward dog. Breathing. The voice from the teacher reminds us to be center. “Nothing Beyond” she says. Nothing Beyond I remind myself. Centered. On this mat. In this room. In this heat. Right... Read more
Life is a constant ebb and flow. It is change. I’ve been revisiting my favorite Buddha Book, re-reading the passages I underlined 10 years ago. Change is a big topic in Buddhism. Change is a big topic in my life right now.
Even if it’s great, change is still….... Read more
I feel a bit like Elmer Fudd these days. I can see the rabbit, our house, just right——-> there. Right now we’re close. We’re SO CLOSE. We have a closing date that is nearly impossible to believe. We have boxes in the house. We have painters coming. We have a zillion tons of energy and hope surging through our family. We buzz in anticipation.
But oh god do not say a word or you’ll scare it.
Denial is a funny thing. Denial says not to pack a single box until you know for sure. But denial hears good news and waits. Denial hears a closing date and doubts. Denial looks around the house and thinks,... Read more
Wow. Apparently I think you’re all blind. Or slightly blind. Or have the terrible eyesight I have.
500 pixel mix tapes. HELLO!
Really, I just wanted to push that huge tape down a post. I have posts. In my head. And all you get is some hopped-up-on-pain-killers dribble about the Olympics.
That’s right. PAINKILLERS.
No, wait, THE OLYMPICS ON DRUGS.
I have a failed root canal that got an infection and turned me in to a 34 year old woman in the fetal position on the couch moaning, “MYTEEFMYTEEF.” It was so attractive.
I begged three dentists to DO SOMETHING OMG and one did. Anti-biotics and Vicodin. And a new! root! canal! to look forward to. I win.
I bet those skaters are hopped up on... Read more
My family loves meat loaf. Well, they love this meat loaf. The kids love to help me make it by squishing the ingredients together with their hands. They feel so empowered that they made their own dinner, it’s never a fight to have them finish it.
Truly, you have no idea how miraculous those words are.
I promised you the recipe and here I am delivering. FINALLY. GAWD. (Sorry)
3/4 cup Ketchup (we use organic low-sugar)
3/4 cup quaker oats
4 egg whites
1 Onion chopped
1 1/4 pd lean ground turkey
1pkg Knorr dry vegetable soup... Read more
That’s love yo. That’s love.
Adelaide by Old 97’s
Whistle For The Choir by The Fratellis
High School Stalker by Hello Saferide
The World’s Greatest by Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy
Sea Green, See Blue by Jaymay
Anyone Else But You by The Moldy Peaches
You Love Me by Kimya Dawson
Bury Me Closer by Palomar
Chariots by Joseph... Read more
We don’t “DO” Valentine’s Day. We never have. We do “The Discount Chocolate Day” on February 15th, but not a day before. We do “let’s go to the mountain today” or “let’s make home-made cookies” or “let’s go to the beach” but we don’t do Vday.
Vday is too.. I dunno.. Venereal sounding for me.
I’ve always told Mr. Flinger if I asked him to do something nice for me on Valentine’s day it means he’s in deep shit. VERY deep shit. Instead, I prefer not getting a dozen roses or a card with a half-assed scribbled, “with love,... Read more
I’ve started reducing our sugar intake thanks to The Belly Fat Cure and half a dozen other resources that have scared the ever-living-shit out of me in regards to sugar.
DEATH IN A PACKET ZOMG.
Sweet, lovely, death.
Anyway, so I’ve cut back on our sugar. Turns out? You only need about 15g of sugar A... Read more
Here’s something. You remember those horrific questions on the SAT and GRE? Those “This is to That as That is to _____” and then you have to pick from a list that matches NOTHING and OMG my fourteenth #2 pencil just broke and I need a smoke and I don’t even smoke.
I’m a living proof those standardize tests do two things:
1. Prove nothing. I was told, after each test, to just go live barefoot in the kitchen because you stupid whore, you can’t even do a multiple choice test well and mygod what will society do with a creative thinker? and
b) traumatize me forever.
Which is obvious with the start of this post.
In other traumatic, although not unexpected news, I’ve gained weight. That’s right, laugh all you... Read more
This is your brain.
This is your brain completely consumed on the dream house you are still waiting to hear about while playing cat - n - mouse with the Dept. of Ed.
(Your brain is the fleshy delicious goodness of pig fat in this scenario.)
Update: If this goes much longer my pig fat will be grilled and buttered before I have the... Read more