On being humbled 31/May/2011

A letter came in the mail today. I was reminded about a generation so much greater than ours. While we are sending emails, incapable of being bothered by the post-office, my Great Aunt Marcy sent my son a card for his 4th birthday. It’s not just a card this time, it’s a reminder. When she lost her husband of 50 years I couldn’t be bothered to send a single thing while she, in return, never once forgets a birthday of her great, great grandnephew. I couldn’t bear to open the... Read more

If Dr. Seuss wrote about real life instead of Whoville… 13/Dec/2010

hohoho

Right before Thanksgiving, a feast of turkey and more
Our daughter danced in socked feet, slipped to the hardwood floor
Busting open up her chin, seven stitches she bravely took
After all the kids were settled, we promptly went to Redhook

Another... Read more

Guest Blogger: Corporate Woman’s Opinion on Working Moms 01/Nov/2010

I wasn’t going to post this essay by my German Hostess. It’s not only an unpopular opinion, it goes against my own beliefs as a mother who strives daily to HAVE IT ALL. I have cake! I EAT IT TOO. Then I work off the cake in a wave of guilt and promise to not eat the cake again only to fail the following day.

Are we still talking about cake? I forgot.

This morning I rushed to get the entire family out of the house on time, which would have been a challenge on any day but today, especially, each of us having woken up an hour late with massive sugar... Read more

In fact, Hallmark DOES NOT have a card for everything 19/Aug/2010

Summers of my youth were filled with sunny, sticky hot days, swimming parties, bike rides, and friends. Houston weather, relentlessly suppressing, choked your lungs with moisture. Us kids would ride around, ignoring the heat, to each other’s houses like mormons on mission. We would bike everywhere, arriving sweaty, sticky, and breathless ready to play and repeat the entire process.

This summer, as an adult, I’m able to re-live that experience. Or, at least in my own way, reminisce about it.

One of my best friends lives 3.6 miles away. I’ve always been... Read more

Taking on Kelly Rippa 23/Jun/2010

I have a bone to pick, Kelly. I happen to get those amazing “be more” Electrolux Washer/Dryers you speak so highly of. No, I wasn’t actually trying to be just like you, GOD no, why would I want to do that? I know small dogs less annoying than you are. BUT, I did find an amazing deal on a pretty amazing washer/dryer set and after drooling and researching, decided to plunge in to debt for the sake of Laundry.

And oh, how it was worth it.

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How to not write like a douche 28/Apr/2010

motherfk

Listen up, Blogosphere. This is part 1 of a 3 part series.

That’s right. What I have to say is so important, I am going to do it in three installments. This? Is number one.

Here is a short post on how to not write like a douche.

Its, It’s
Its is possessive. The book is torn and its page is wrinkled.
It’s is a contraction of it and is. It’s about to rain.... Read more

I’m a Libertarian, not an asshole 31/Mar/2010

I was at the gym a few days ago when this commercial came on. Maybe it was the hormones, maybe it was the stress of moving, maybe it is me being all “woman-like” but I started to tear up right there at minute 11 on the elliptical.

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Waiting for the Internet Birth 24/Mar/2010

Hey, remember that time I was all, “OMG WE GOT A HOUSE AND WE GET TO MOVE!”

Fuck that. Moving is hard, yo!

It’s not just the new-ness of the place, or the old-ness of someone else’s dirt, it’s the alone-ness, the “what are we doing-ness” of our lives.

Disrupting the routine is no good, people. NO GOOD AT ALL.

But not having internet? That’s death.

Monday was our scheduled day. “Your rep will be there between 8AM and 5PM Monday, March 22.”

Awesome. I can totally unpack and not have... Read more

I always knew I was Demi and he was my Ashton 11/Feb/2010

We don’t “DO” Valentine’s Day. We never have. We do “The Discount Chocolate Day” on February 15th, but not a day before. We do “let’s go to the mountain today” or “let’s make home-made cookies” or “let’s go to the beach” but we don’t do Vday.

Vday is too.. I dunno.. Venereal sounding for me.

I’ve always told Mr. Flinger if I asked him to do something nice for me on... Read more

A plea from a mother of a toddler who will not sleep 08/Jan/2010

You wouldn’t think someone this adorable could cause any trouble.

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And oh, you’d be wrong. And also a suckah.

I can remember sitting behind the recliner listening to the theme song from St. Elsewhere. I remember my mother, without looking back, yelling, “GO TO BED” and wondering how she even knew I was there. I was so quiet! The woman had eyes on the back of her head. She... Read more