Virtual Makeover and a GiveAway! *updated with a new style! 20/Jul/2007

About once a year I get all “PPfffttt I hate my hair. I hate my body. I have nothing to wear and that bitch over there looks great in her A-line layered cut and I look like a mom!” Ok, maybe more than once a year. But I usually only post about it once a year.

This year is a little different. I’ve taken action! I’ve taken photos! I’ve uploaded photos to websites and tried hair on like a teenager with too much time on her... Read more

Body Image 12/Jun/2007

A letter to me:

I am doing everything I can here. Lay off, wouldya? You’re entirely too condescending of me, critical in front of the mirror, embarrassed to post the photos. I just created life, remember? The son you cuddle and enjoy? *I* grew him. And only three weeks ago we underwent major surgery to have him safely brought in to the world. Let me heal before you start judging. Let me get more than two hours of sleep in a row. Let me enjoy this time home with my family before you begin punishing me on the scale.  And those three ounces of milk I’m making is... Read more

Sometimes I’m heroic, mostly I’m just “ick”. 11/Feb/2007

It’s really not what you think. I’m really not off contemplating The World At Large and finding solutions to global hunger and poverty. No. I’m actually knee deep in grading and laundry and baby-nesting and am not here right now blogging. You don’t see me. See? Not here. But maybe in a week or so I will be able to breathe and have that feeling of accomplishment when I actually got something finished and remembered that I’m blessed and happy and whole. Right now I don’t feel very whole... Read more

Forget Cankles, I get a feck 02/Jan/2007

We recently ventured downtown to take some pictures with Oma. It was fun, for the most part, to pretend to be tourist in the city we live in. It was fun, that is, until I’d view a picture we took and realize I look fat.  I have a very round face now. I actually don’t weigh that much more than I did just a few weeks ago. I weigh less than I did with LB at this point and I’m able to wear my same pants I couldn’t get over my hips for 6 months post partum before. So why the puffy round face?

It’s my feck and I get it every pregnancy.

You know... Read more

Tis the season for shallow materialism 03/Dec/2006

I’m not one to disappoint, so when asked what I want for Christmas, I can usually produce a list about thirty feet long. And if we’re not judging lists by length, I can certainly produce a pricey list mostly full of Apple products that I absolutely MUST have.  Yesterday, though, I found a tiny, affordable, and practical product. The only trouble is? I can’t use it for another seven months. Well, and it’s really not affordable and practical at all, so why not obsess about it? In a way, it’s my red rider BB... Read more

I have Presbyterian eyes 28/Nov/2006

It’s not as romantic as “Betty Davis Eyes.” Instead, think old people eating food and a tad drips on the side of their mouth but they’re unaware, so they continue to eat. And drip. And never ever use a napkin.

It’s kinda like that.

I noticed last night when trying to read the contents of a spreadable cheese for “pasteurization,” I was holding the container at arm’s length. Actually, I was holding the container and moving my head around while trying to focus on the tiny tiny print. “Damn, this is tiny tiny print,” I... Read more

Before and After: a picture post 21/Nov/2006

I have a series of before and after photos I thought I’d share. You may want to sit down and start drinking. It could get ugly.

First, I’ll start with the easy one. Here we have the previous “toy storage solution” since we moved in to the new condo and delegated the toy chest for shoes. (don’t ask) Yes, we delegated the storage bin formerly known as “toy box” to dirty ol’ shoes. It’s how we roll.

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More Pregnant Lady Confessions (Your lucky day!) 22/Oct/2006

Ready for another shocker? I have body image issues. HOLY CRAP! Shut up, I know that’s just another stop in the road to middle-class-america. Raise of hands of people who HAVE NOT had an eating disorder? Three of you? Well, you missed out. Trust me. (Don’t)

I’m guessing it’s no surprise I have issues about gaining weight when I’m pregnant. I actually stay up at night pondering how I can prevent the sixty pound weight gain (and only 55 pound weight loss) from last time around. But I’m up late, starving, eating (LIGHT) Laughing Cow Cheese and I know... Read more

A Yeti in Panties 18/Oct/2006

I found my razor this afternoon. This is very good news since I haven’t shaved my legs since we packed up the bathroom in our old townhouse on Friday. If you count the days, that’s ... let’s do the math… five days. For those of you that don’t know, I’m a small step away from the ape woman. So five days for you, thin blonde chick that I’d hate but you’re too nice, might not be a big deal, but for me? Well. It is.

So, what with the peeing, the nausea, and... Read more

I’m your maid, not your cook 25/Jul/2006

Mr. Flinger knew I hated cooking when he married me. He was OK with this. Maybe I was alluring him with my pre-marital sex. Maybe it was my witty ways and good looks. (snort) Maybe it was my ability to separate darks from whites when doing the laundry. Whatever. He knew I ate bagels, cream cheese and an apple every day for lunch for three years. He married me anyway.

Now I’m all “grown up” and feeding your guests rice with a garden burger patty on it (with a side of salsa) just isn’t acceptable. Apparently, as a mom and a wife you’re supposed to cook?... Read more