Had I known being a mom would be so like High School, I might be more for teenage pregnancy. Ok, not really, but why is it when we?re all grown up and professional at work we can?t be grown up on the playground? What is it about being around children that make us act our child?s age? Why do moms feel the need to exclude other women simply because they are new?

I know a lot of you have written about this before. I?m sure I could link to several (hundred) posts of yours where some beyotch mom makes you feel like crap because you don?t have the right jeans, the good hair, the child with the perfect nose. Or, there are moms (skinnybitch is my personal thorn in my side) that love your child so much, mostly because she will mostly likely be so pretty and popular in High School and if she goes to the same school as her son they absolutely MUST be friends, so they?ll bite the bullet and be your friend. Except they?ll let you know it?s only because your daughter is just so cute and even kind of looks like her. Not at all because of who you are. Your ass is just too big and your house is never clean enough.

I know this happens even in the less attractive neighborhoods but here in ?I?m too rich for my own good?-ville it?s at a whole new level.

Maybe I’m a bit off the mark… you know ... socially. Maybe I’m a little clueless when it comes to interacting between humans (and if I am, by god, please tell me.) But last time I checked, asking to see someone’s episiotomy wasn’t high on the questions to ask casual friends.

Am I wrong? Good god, tell me I’m not wrong.

Do you ever leave a party and think, “What the HELL did I just spend two hours saying?” I do. A lot. Well, that is, if I went to more parties…

So, we hung out with skinnybitch and prettygirl today. I really really like PrettyGirl. She is the peace of the group. She keeps it together. She is pretty AND nice AND has great taste in clothing. AND she genuinly cares about people. She is amazing. I really do like her.

Skinnybitch and I got alone well with PrettyGirl around. We were good, sincere, and nice. We even walked to Starbucks together where I stayed to feed LB. Be proud of me but I didn’t roll my eyes ONCE. Seriously. Be. Proud.

The thing I notcied about skinnybitch is that she invited LB and I to her Mom’s house next week when PrettyGirl was around. But then, before she left us, she said, “Oh, ok. Well, we’ll see ya at the end of October for the mommy group party.” Oy. Maybe she forgot. Maybe she really doesn’t remember those things. That’s ok. I do that (Hell, I left the CAMERA on the CAR. Duh.) So I’m really not upset about it. She WAS just a general annoying, but hell, I do that, too.

In fact… wait.. shit! I’m not upset about anything! I guess the visit went well. I *did* snap a pic, but it’s all stealth and stuff.

So, maybe we should talk about how my belly can rest on my laptop now. ‘Cause I got nothin’.

You?

So, I’ve been invited to a mommy “thang” with skinnybitch. Did I ever tell you that I didn’t make it to her party? Yea. I didn’t. Boy, women can be so catty. She actually thought it’s because I don’t like her and would say things about her to other people. Man, is she WAY off. I only write them.

There’s a super long story behind skinnybitch. By long I mean it goes way back and keeps on going. So, that’s why this is so ironic.