I can totally pull this off
#Life #Best Of #Social Clutz Loveable Spaz
I’ve been sleepy since I was 16 years old. The first doctor I saw, during cross country season my Junior Year of High School, dismissed my complaints. “Look,” he leaned forward, his hands resting on this thighs, smelling of soap, “You’re not tired. You can’t be tired. You run 5 miles a day and get straight A’s. You’re not tired.”
But I *WAS* tired.
I continued to be tired and get dismissed for the next 19 years. I slept through college. Literally. I fell asleep regularly on my books in the library, drooling between pages of my Physics book. I went to bed at 9PM every night and fell asleep during movies my roommates and I would rent. I took three hour naps regularly and barely made it through until evening....
Fear! Panic! Mayhem! Falalala - lala- lala
#Life #Social Clutz Loveable Spaz #The Flinger Family
Everyone ready for The Big Storm? Arctic Blast 2008! Sheer Hell-frozen-over! RUNNNNNNnnnnNNNN.
According to the news, this is going to be The Biggest Storm Ever In Our .. Lives… Muhahaha.
Until next year, at least.
So everyone in the Pacific Northwest is at Safeway and Fred Meyer getting the essentials. The guy behind us in line had three bags of Cheetos and beer. We had four cases of pop, some red wine, cheese and beer. The lady in front of us? You got it: Beer. (In her defense, she was the only person in line buying batteries, too, so there’s that. We’ll all hunt her down and offer her beer in exchange for voltage later.)
It’s been icy, frozen and brilliantly fun for days. Work has been nearly impossible as children are...
Laughing until I fart
#Life #Social Clutz Loveable Spaz
I just got my first, er, fifty-first piece of hatemail.
The IP of 184.108.40.206 writes,
“Dear Mrs. Fliger. I’ve known you wanted to be just like Dooce for years but you couldn’t hide it any better? Your web designs suck and your coding is awful and now your stealing ideas from Dooce’s website. Pathetic. Get your own fonts.”
Hang on… Hang on…
:: PPPPFFTTTTT ::
Sorry, I’m laughing… so.. incredibly.. hard.. right… now..
I fart when I laugh. Didn’t you know that? My closest friends know that. I figured I’ve told The Internet that at some point or other.
Or maybe I should show you video evidence?
The problem with labeleling and google, which is not at all related
#Life #Parenting Siblings #post partum depression #Social Clutz Loveable Spaz
We’ve hit a portion of time known in our circle as “the three-and-a-half-year-old” stage. ohdearmotherlivinghell. The “terrible twos”? A warm up. The teenage angst? Being foreshadowed. My mental health? On the wire.
Tuesday we had what could only be referred as “a throwback to Rambo” There was yelling, fighting, dramatic throw-downs. This all in the first ten minutes of the day. She literally turned in to a fish out of water gasping for air because, ohgodforbid, her mother asked her to wipe her own bottom. That’s right, Internet, I forced my child to use her own toilet paper. IknowIknow. I see you shaking your head. Trust me. I disappoint many.
The trouble with this behavior is that I don’t so much like it. And the...
Was there a game on or something?
#Life #Social Clutz Loveable Spaz
Apparently Super Bowl Sunday is a national holiday. Were you aware? I knew when I took my daughter to Safeway to purchase pizza, wine and potato salad (what everyone eats on an average Sunday) there were, approximately, four small nations of people in the checkout line all buying pizza, beer and potato salad.
That was my first clue.
Then I noticed our neighbors either decided to start selling used cars to suplement our outrageous mortgaged 1200 SF townhomes or else those very same people who were just in line at Safeway were now swarming around our complex like angry bees on crack.
After shoving my children in the gas-inefficient SUV we own outright (and thus can not purchase a hybrid or other similarly trendy green vehicle), we trooped over to our good friends...
Because I can trust you with a secret, Internet
#Life #Fitness #Weght Loss and Body Image #Getting to know me #Social Clutz Loveable Spaz
I am wearing a girdle for the first time since child #2. It is not pretty. The mass that used to constitute my ab muscles is now squished to the top of a size-that-fit-prior-to-growing-the-largest-belly-known-to-pregnancy “slimming” girdle.
This means one of two things is bound to occur at the office party we are attending tonight for Mr. Flinger’s work: a) someone will ask when I’m due and b) I will get very crampy gas about the time his boss makes his way over to our table and let a teeny tiny SBD slip out. And blame his boss for it.
Remember what happened on our
last date? I’m sure this will top it. Let’s take bets, shall we?...
Look! A placeholder!
#Life #Social Clutz Loveable Spaz
Wowzers, 24 hours goes pretty damn fast. The reality of night feedings is weighing back on me shortly, so my half-written
OMG-I-hang-with-the-best-effing-people-in-Seattle will have to wait.
But look! Michelle posted pictures!
And so did I!
I just have no idea what the hell this is. I’m pretty sure it’s Laura dancing. See? Don’t you see her? And her little black...
How datenight turned in to a car show
#Getting to know me #Social Clutz Loveable Spaz #The Flinger Family
Friday night we were blessed with a date. A DATE. Yea, I know, what’s that? It’s that thing you do when you leave the house without the kids because someone else has
been roped in to watching your children. It. Was. Awesome.
(Let me back up here a moment so as to ‘splain it all.)
So. You know
I’ve been trying to get my pre-baby body back? And you know how I’m only a whopping twenty pounds away from my goal now? That’s like two dimes or two-decades, whichever. Anyway, I’ve been working out and eating well. Eating well...
One, Two, 1-2-3-4
#Good News #Social Clutz Loveable Spaz
Please sing in your best country-sounding voice. There needs to be twang. Sadly, every time I try to make “twang” in my head it comes out “Bow Chicka Chicka Bow Bow.” So, go for less porn and more TWANG, ok?
Also, I am completely sober. S-O-B-E-R. I’m like a guy on Alcohol, I couldn’t get it going. But once I got sober, the words just started flowing.
:: ahem ::
Oh! Two Buck Chuck I’m in love with you
You’ve got more spunk than a party shoe
You make me dance with grace and rhythm
When I drink you,...
My eyes, they may be bigger than my stomach, and that is hard to do
#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz
Internet? Internet? You there still? Ok, so look, I .. um.. have ideas. All these IDEAS just sort of swirling around my brain all, “BLAHBLAHBLAH ooh! I could do THIS! And THIS and, well, we need THIS, too!” and I have plans, big plans, plans for remodeling websites and member areas and podcasts, and new sites, and and and and and…
And then my brain explodes.
Then the baby needs things and the toddler melts down and the sun comes out and melts my ass to the park bench.
That’s the short short version.
I believe there are all kinds of people in life. Those who have the power of “the big picture.” There are detail people, there are the do-ers, the idea-ers, and the planners. There are those who sit and observe whilst...