We’ve hit a portion of time known in our circle as “the three-and-a-half-year-old” stage. ohdearmotherlivinghell. The “terrible twos”? A warm up. The teenage angst? Being foreshadowed. My mental health? On the wire.
Tuesday we had what could only be referred as “a throwback to Rambo” There was yelling, fighting, dramatic throw-downs. This all in the first ten minutes of the day. She literally turned in to a fish out of water gasping for air because, ohgodforbid, her mother asked her to wipe her own bottom. That’s right, Internet, I forced my child to use her own toilet paper. IknowIknow. I see you shaking your head. Trust me. I disappoint many.
The trouble with this behavior is that I don’t so much like it. And the... Read more
I’ve been pretty open about my past experience with Postpartum Depression (or Postpartum Mood Disorder as it’s now known as). I always thought this was important because nobody was talking about it when I was going through it in 2004. I felt alone. I was lost. Nobody told me I might not want to be around my new baby or that I’d regret having her in the first place. I assumed this made me a horrible mother. What I didn’t realize, is... Read more
For some time now I wanted to do a series about preventing/combating Postpartum Depression. I have a shrink, (gasp, what? You DON’T?! Don’t you know everyone has a shrink? How uncool of you..) that I saw before I even had Baby O. After my last experience, I thought I better have someone in my pocket in case I decided to lock myself in the bathroom and cry for a few hours a day. If you know me, that’s not anything near my normal self and not someplace I needed to visit again.
My (tres hip) shrink had some good things to say. In fact, she gave me five things to work on to help me through the first year of postpartum shifts, otherwise known as hell. These five... Read more
We all have those days. You know the ones? I’m willing to wager that you’ve experienced days that make getting a root canal a vacation. In fact, I went to Target sans children minutes from the store closing and considered it a vacation. Tar Jay? Is. My. Vacation.
:: shakes head ::
It’s not that I didn’t know these days would happen. I had these days before kids so what would make me think I’d feel like June Cleaver when I was Maggie O’Connel before kids? I fantasized... Read more
I’ve been thinking a lot during these last few weeks. My thoughts swing from “GET THE DAMN BABY OUT! NOW! OUT OUT OUT!” to “This is the last time my daughter will be an only child.. the last time she’ll get every ounce of my attention; aside from the blog and the laundry and that shiny thing over there, that is.” Lately I’ve been romanticizing every aspect of her tiny little person because look! We made a tiny little person! Who turned out to be pretty damn incredible! Don’t we rock?
We somehow survived those first few months of reflux, screaming, not sleeping. We made it through the first winter with our newborn, we figured out how to feed her, to swaddle her, to get her to sleep. I remember sitting with her in various locations... Read more
Recently, a really good friend of mine asked about the “joy” of motherhood. She asked when, exactly, it hits because nursing every two hours and not sleeping for four months is not exactly “joyful.” And it’s not. I think people who tell you those first few months were a joyful time in their lives are either lying, don’t remember, or they’re God.
I sure as hell am not God.
Her question stuck with me for a long while. It found its way in to the pit of my stomach and sat, festered, and grew in to fear. I was honest when I answered her. I was honest to say that to this day I do not exactly embody a “joyful” mom. We have joyful times. We enjoy life more now as she’s older and can interact with us. We mesh a little... Read more
I suffered from Postpartum Depression after having LB two years ago. I spoke of it, at times, here on my blog but always in a past-tense tone. “I had postpartum depression,” “I got help,” “I’m ok now.” And it’s true. I did have it. I did get help. And I was ok for a long time.
I remember being in Borders when LB was two months old. I went searching for books on Post Partum Depression and found disappointedly little. Brooke Sheild’s book didn’t come out until months later and, still, I haven’t read it. I think I am afraid it will remind me of that dark place that I never truly talked about. The place where... Read more