Popularity. Fame. Money. Drama.
I think Mom101 said it best, “We don’t have to be ashamed about what we do or why we do it. Whether we blog for money or friendship or approval or attention or magical beans. I said it in the first Momosphere panel and I meant it: It’s all good.”
The hate blogs, the jealousy, the gossip; It’s a bi-product of mixing fame, money and popularity in a tiny tiny space called Your Computer. We’re exposed. We’re sharing. We’re being “honest” except we’re not.
I can not tell you how much it means to me to know that really great writers with great sites know who I am and are just as amazing in person as in their blogs. But this does not bring me fame. It does not bring me money. It does not bring me popularity.
It brings me community.
You choose to either participate in the community or not. You decide what and how much you give to your peers. You are the one who can either introduce yourself or sit and watch. Either way, it’s your choice. And they are both ok.
I’m not overly confident in who I am. I still squee (loudly) when Joelle of Moxie Design Studios says HI or sends a client our direction. I was flattered beyond flattery when Angela gave me a CD and when Amy and Tracey and Dana included me in their link list. Don’t get me wrong. I still love that these people I read and admire also read and link back to me.
It’s a warm fuzzy that even my nightly
bottle of wine can’t re-produce.
But if you feel that I am popular or self-righteous, you’ve clearly never met me in person. Or read me for that matter. I’m far from being an “A” list blogger. I’m a mom who barely holds her shit together, who tries to write every so often and works even more often. I value friendships, real ones, over my blog and would toss this site in a heartbeat if it got in the way of my real relationships. My real life.
Which is something I’m struggling with.
The best and most wonderful thing I’ve found through this blog are my close friends Michelle and Laura and the site we launched together. My career took a fantastic turn when I met Karen through this post and then joined Swank Web Style and found Shaz and Emily and we decided to start a new commercial design business Catapult Web Development because Sydney helped inspire this move and Susan Getgood and other clients encouraged it. When I found out my my new great Seattle Playdate Friend also worked in the web programming / tech field I was in heaven and we talked nerdy to each other.
From there, the real world got better and better.
I blog for a variety of reasons but it will be changing soon. There is a New Big Thing in the works and The Real World is involved. It’s exciting, what has come of being in this community, and it’s inspirational. But it is not exclusive or ellusive or any other “ive”. It’s what you make of it.
Just like real life.
Draft #5: I’ve tried four times previous to write my first Post-BlogHer-Post. I’ve spent an hour typing A H R E F = BLAHBLAHBLAH and deleting the entire post. I’ve struggled to compile my photos in to some sort of order that I can share. I’ve been sitting here organizing work but getting sucked back in to drafts for this post.
I think I’m speechless.
I’ll find the words. I’ll find the photos. I’ll find the URLs and I’ll try not to leave anyone out. In the mean time, I will share this short video we made with you. It’s ironic that I left a blogging conference completely unable to blog, isn’t it? That in all the bustle and hustle and writing tips and site information I leave with a short clip my closest local friends and I made? Because in the end, it’s not about blogging, it’s about the real world.
Welcome to ours.
I’m hitting publish before I over analyze this post. See? look! A Spesling error! POSTED.
With so much history packed in to a 5MB MySQL database here, some of who I am slowly leaked out in various posts. Sure, an about page is helpful, but here is what you need to know if you happen to run in to me in, say, San Fransisco.
1. I obsessively think I’m pregnant, even if I have not had actual, you know, S-E-X.
2. I once peed on a used pregnancy test. Yes, I kept my first positive pregnancy test from my daughter in February 2004. Yes, I freaked my shit out with a six month old daughter. No, I do not have it anymore.
3. I’m a clutz. (Watch your drinks around me…)
4. I streak orange.
5. I really really really don’t want another baby.
6. I fart when I’m nervous.
7. I randomly yell things like “I WILL LICK YOU” and then make stickers out of it.
8. I’m a web programming nerd. And I like it.
Which is why I did the following:
1. Peed on a pregnancy test (new, yes I checked) before I start drinking at BlogHer. (Yaknow, I’m late, yaddyyaddy, and why not? I pee on things. What-can-I-say.)
2. Get a professional spray tan (which I still managed to totally fuck up).
3. Stay up late the night before placing my “business card” stickers on condoms.
4. Stock up on Bean-O.
5. Launched our new business the night before BlogHer.
5. Promise myself I will politely introduce myself before tripping, falling, and smacking various drinks out of people’s hands.
Hai. I’m Leslie. It’s nice to meet you.
What is that you’re drinking?
**updated to add **
I literally spilled a record THREE DRINKS at Guy’s House. Two within three minutes on Laura. I only had one drink spilled on me by my favorite blog-writer-hero Rachel. I was honored.
So much more to update. Like singing in the men’s bathroom with Y and Jenny The Bloggess and OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE PEOPLE AND I WILL SAY THIS A LOT. Because deargod. Awesome. Womenz. Squeeee!! Too many to link to.
Visa Debit Cards.
(Look! No BlogHer Post!)
(Wait, does that count? I just wrote BLOGhER)
(Shit. I Did it again.)
The End. (AGAIN.)
Look, I sympathize, I do. I sat home years in a row watching people I would DIE to see (caps on DIE because I mean it for emphasis not actually as in keel over) go to a conference and meet each other and laugh and have cheezburgers and DAMNTHEM. Except I didn’t damn them. I wanted to go. I was a little bit jealous. But I was secure in my own self and I knew one year I’d go, too. And if I didn’t, it was ok. They were still my favorite bloggers/friends/girl crushes.
So I’m going to blog about it and you’re going to drink with me. And we’re going to have a non-politically correct gay time (and giggle because HAHA you said gay) and share the experience. Ok?
For starters, here’s what you can expect from our possy:
Obsessive Lipstick Application
Pushing our beliefs on others regarding obsessive lipstick application
Passing out shortly after 9pm
I know they won’t kill me for posting these. Even if I AM sleeping in the same room and, oh, could be vulnerable at 4AM when there are accessible pillows around. I know they will forgive because they’re like Jesus that way.
I’m pretty sure if Jesus was a girl, he wouldn’t have washed feet.
He’d have given pedicures.
And at home? I leave this:
San Fransisco? Just. In. Time.
It’s nigh. That Conference I won a trip to? That Conference I practically shit myself in total an utter fear because OH MAI GAWD I get to meet these people that I’ve read and, like, TOTALLY have a girl crush on? (Too many to link to holyhell I love you people)
And oh dear god, they get to meet me.
Thankfully, two of my dearest friends are traveling with me. This means several things, 1) I have someone to sit with at the lunch table already to talk with so I can put away my inner 13 year old 2) they already love me
in spite of my nervous-gassy stomach and 3) I will introduce and be introduced to many many bloggers, famous, not-so-famous, well known (no, wait, that means famous) and quiet, but amazing, amazing women.
And 4) I will probably be too wobbly to remember.
So, if things don’t pan out and maybe, say, some people have other people they’re talking to and maybe I walk in to a room and people get all, “ShhhHHHHHhhhh” it’s ok. No, REALLY (caps). It’s OK (caps! again!). Because see? See this post here? WhaWhaWha I feel left out because some people are cliquish and whahwa I’m not in it.
And that’s the end of that. Now, let’s all go enjoy being women who love to write and learn new things about this outlet we’ve all come to love and hate sometimes. And hate to love.
To each one of you, I can’t wait to meet you. Seriously. And if I look a little “bitchy” please know, my bitchy face and my drunk-for-three-days-and-I-think-I-just-farted face are The Exact Same.
(The hardly-known lover of good wine and vodka martinis and smart code but only slightly read… Me)
(Similar to, but not exactly, like Sparks and Butterflies disclaimer. Play along! Comon. I’m licking her..
13 guests here now.