Because this is a blog and I’m hungry

Oct 12, 2010

#Fitness#Weght Loss and Body Image

I’ve started a Liver Cleanse using this PaleoCleanse powder. Instructed by my Natural Path (I’m as hip as someone in California with a shrink and a personal yoga teacher ten years ago) I’m only eating veggies and having two of these here smoothies a day.

Smoothie is a stretch, actually. Thick, pasty goo with a hint of grainy sand is more like it.

MmMMMM Sand.

I sat there, in my doctor’s office, after a week of drinking and carousing with men who can hold their liquor sixteen times better than I can, nodding in agreement when she suggested this liver cleanse. “Your cholesterol is a concern” she reminded me. I nodded again. “It will be intense but it’s really good for your body.” I nodded again. “If you get stuck you can email me, I have another patient on it right now and she just emailed me, on her Day #2, saying she was DYING.” We both laugh. HAHAHA.


The joke is TOTALLY ON ME.

It’s Day #2 and Internet: I AM DYING.

My liver, my body, it is rebelling. MUST. HAVE. COFFEE. My brain is fuzzy. My synapsis forgot how to work. If it wasn’t so pathetic, I’d email my doctor telling her I’m hungry. I AM HUNGRY.

Hangon, I’ll go grab another tantalizing dish of greens, tomatoes and cucumber.


Out of love and respect and a little bit pressure and threats, Mr. Flinger is also doing this cleanse with me. It is somewhat comforting to look in his eyes and see his pupils dilating in to a turkey. Sort of like the cartoons when Elmer Fudd looks at the “Wabbit” and sees his dinner cooked and ready? Like that. Complete with the chasing of food in my dreams.

We walked around last night, together, in a state of haze. We went to bed with the children. We gobbled up our morning protein shake and laughed at our own ridiculousness. “It’s Day #2” we chortle.

Day #2 and I have to say, this headache is a bitch. I really think my liver will be just fine without all this effort. Someone pass me a cappuccino.

No, don’t, I’m stronger than that.

No I’m not, get me some coffee.

I know some of you have done this whole Paleo Diet thing. HOW THE HELL, PEOPLE. All of you who are strong, athletic, lean people that I look at and say, “I’d do ANYTHING to look like her.” Well, I’m lying.



  1. I’m pretty firm about not eating goo.

    Well, you know, except that one thing…

    I’m talking about peanut butter, of course.

    By Lotus / Sarcastic Mom on 2010 10 12

  2. When it comes to “cleansing”, I am a non believer.


    By Andrew Robinson on 2010 10 12

  3. There’s a lot to be said for staying off the caffeine once you’ve suffered through the detox. I’ve been decaffeinated for several months now and not only is it saving me a TON of money that I would have been spending on coffee, but I feel perfectly energetic without it.

    By Average Jane on 2010 10 13

  4. Andrew, I just read those articles. Thanks for the recommendation. I’m starting to think, perhaps, any sort of “non-coffee/no-alcohol/increase fiber” would be just as healthy.

    By Mrs. Flinger on 2010 10 13

  5. Hi Mrs. Flinger,

    I was wondering if you were interested in reviewing a product of ours!  Give me a shout smile



    By Britt on 2010 10 14

  6. Love this.

    By Amanda on 2010 10 14

  7. I did the Paleo diet. The first week is the hardest part. I remember looking in the cabinets and cursing at the food in it (all of it I couldn’t eat). I would wake up in the middle of the night craving cookies, but rewarding myself with some fruit. It was a hard adjustment but it was definitely worth it!

    By Dallas Divorce Lawyer on 2010 10 19