Tonight we have a bit of an issue here in Flingerville. I say issue lightly, since one of us is screaming our heads off and the other two are sitting in a huff on opposite sides of the house. Most days of the week, Mr. Flinger and my parenting strategy align nicely. And when it doesn’t, we always back the other up because that’s what a parental unit does; Back each other up. We’ll discuss our reasons for or against a decision in our own space, but never in front of the child. I call this parenting 101.
I decided to wash the beloved blanket and buddy combination because LB was around a few (dozen) sick kids today. I always wash all of the school items since we’ve had a rough winter hosting more viruses than a Microsoft Computer. (Geek humor, sorry.) Today was no exception. I threw the pink buddy, the beloved blanket, and the pillow in the wash.
Then I forgot about them.
This is, I believe, a cardinal sin punishable by death in the eyes of a two year old. The BELOVED is in the wash, dripping wet, when bed-time hits. The BELOVED is still tumble drying when the lights go out. The BELOVED is being asked for, called out for, screamed for.
Mr. Flinger feels the longer she carries on, the longer she will not get her Beloved. I, on the other hand, feel sympathetic because over the past two weeks or so, she’s developed a poor sleeping pattern on nights she goes to school, calling out for Mommy and crying with nightmares in her sleep. The mommy side of me crumbles not only with guilt but empathy as my first born daughter struggles with change, not unlike her mom did (does). And, if I’m being honest here, because her mom still owns, can locate, and covets her own Beloved.
That’s right, Internet. I know where my baby blanket is. The Beloved that went to school with me (only a handful of times in preschool before I was made fun of and kept it at home). The Beloved that got put away when I was in forth grade, brought out, got packed, and carted along when I moved to college, moved at least dozen times but always in a box or a drawer or a location that I knew. I still know where it is, to this day, thirty one years later. I remember my dad joking once that he gave up trying to get me to toss it. He told my Uncle he’d let my husband deal with it. He wasn’t too far off.
On the one hand, we want our kids to have a better life than our own, to be more secure, to be more confident, to not be weak when we were. But there is an understanding when your daughter is crying for her blanket, the one blanket you sewed that one time, the one blanket she’s had for her entire life. I can understand getting rid of the binki. I know she’ll need to grow out of her diapers. I get why she couldn’t stay in her crib forever.
But a blanket?
I’m on your side…It’s not like you can reason with a 2 year old. She isn’t doing it on purpose, she’s just craving her routine! I hope things get worked out, SOON!
By Charla on 2007 03 27
I let her hold the wet blanket and said, “See? This is why you can’t have it right now but I’ll bring it to you after you go to sleep.”
She fell asleep. I just put it on her. Good lord, I’m glad she’s only two. I can’t imagine dealing with bigger issues than a blanket right now.
By Mrs. Flinger on 2007 03 27
ahh yes the blanket..we have had moments all to familar to that I am glad she understood why she couldnt have it right then. its a hard thing to understand sometimes..and- I too know where my baby blankets are, and yes I had two, identical ones, because I could not be without when it was being washed..had to have a back up My dad also said “let her husband deal with it” when he gave me the 8 garbage bags full of my stuffed animals after I got married
as you know, I have towel kids..and just recently we lost “towel” at church.and it has yet to be found…Haley is heartbroken, as am I…she has been ok without it, but I’m not..I keep praying it shows up..its her beloved and I want her to have it when she is 30 :(
By Bree on 2007 03 28
uhhh…l still know where mine is too.
By Erin on 2007 03 28
Yep…know where mine is, too!
By snarflemarfle on 2007 03 28
I think kids really NEED their loveys at this stage. (Even one of AJ’s daycare teachers said that, so THERE.) We keep one at school and one at home. Hubby was asking me nervously the other day if any other of the kids (boys) in AJ’s class had a blankie. I basically said, “Who cares?” to him, which probably wasn’t very nice, but that’s what I think. Why make ‘em grow too fast?
That said, I totally understand your washer/dryer dilemma! Oops. I’ve done it too!
I recently retrieved my baby blanket from my parents’ house and am glad to have it back.
By el-e-e on 2007 03 28
I’m on your side. Also, when my firstborn was a todder, I was discussing some things with the pediatrician and she said, “Does he have a comfort item?” She wanted to make sure he had some sort of blankie or lovey.
By Swistle on 2007 03 28
I’m with you on this one.
I am a real hardliner on most everything else, but when it comes to that comfort item—whatever it may be, if I know it really means something to the child then I make sure they get it as soon as I can.
My oldest is really the only one who has one though. Well two. Tiger and Puppy. Tiger and Puppy have been through a lot, and show a lot of love and abuse. And some nights he goes without them because we can’t find them. But I’ve always taken them to him as soon as they are dry or I find them if he went to bed without them. The other two children don’t really have anything like that—except Ben. The two and half year old still uses a pacifier at night which I DO plan to tackle this summer after we move and get settled—along with potty training.
I confess I had a bear that I took to college that I had as long as I can remember. But I’ve since lost it and it breaks my heart whenever I think of it. So yeah. I’m with you on this one.
By sleeping mommy on 2007 03 28
Oh wow, I used to (o.k., still do) call my blanket “Mi Amor” which is “my love”. She lives quite comfortably under my pillow.
By Tere on 2007 03 28
I’m with you on the blanket thing too. I still remember when my mom made me throw away my first blanket (it was literally in shreds). Just thinking of my second (and last) blanket now still makes me feel comforted. & I think no matter how old you are, we can use all the comfort we can get. It isn’t like she’ll be taking the blanket with her on her honeymoon or anything.
By Shelly on 2007 03 28
You can NEVER, EVER, EVER get rid of the blankie. That’s in the parenting bible.
I had to drive 2 hours each way to get a blankie that got left behind one time. We didn’t realize it until bed time. He was still awake waiting for it 4 hours later when I got home.
That was kiddo number one. With the rest of the kids I wized up and gave them “blankies” that I could buy in bulk and rotate. It’s when you give them a one of a kind blankie that you’re screwed! lol
By Friglet on 2007 03 28
Yep… I say give her the blanket too (but I see you did that…)
In my head…this is one battle not worth fighting- especially when it means your own peace and quiet is at stake.
By sarahgrace on 2007 03 28
What a night!
Blankie is now clean and back to her hands
P.S. I like the parenting 101
By Kerry on 2007 03 28
Mr Chudley accompanied me to the hospital when I delivered Charlie. There are times that nothing but your security item will do…
By Becky on 2007 03 28
Aww. We have been really lucky in that department. My son attaches himself to whatever’s convenient at the moment. He has multiple blankets, and is rarely choosey. (Thank God!) And he’s usually happy to snuggle up to whatever toy vehicle is closest (stuffed animals?).
So glad she went to sleep knowing that you’d bring her her Beloved. That LB is just so precious…
Ya know, don’t know if I had a blankey! If I did, I’ve forgotten about it… Now, my Mrs. Beasley, that’s another story. We’ve been together for 36 years…
By Marie on 2007 03 28
I know exactly where my Beloved is as well. And I can still scarcely believe my husband suggested I just toss it in the garbage. WHAT?!
My son’s Blankie has been left dripping too many a night in the washer at bedtime. There was even one night I had to fish it out of the laundry hamper - all covered in mustard - just so he would go to sleep. And he’s five! We never outgrow them, I think.
By Melissa R. Garrett on 2007 03 28
My daughter never got attached to a binky. She never got attached to a bottle, and she was potty trained by 22 months, so the diapers didn’t even stick around long. BUT she’s had a woobie that could NOT be left behind at any cost until the past few months. She’s just beginning to outgrow needing the woobie except at bedtime.
There was an incident I blogged about almost exactly a year ago when Daughter accidentally dropped her woobie in the toilet. Just before NAP TIME no less!!!!!
In our house, the woobie was sacred. No punishment would ever ever include separating Daughter from her woobie.
By MGM on 2007 03 28
I totally understand as I sleep on the same pillow since I was a baby. Yes, for nearly 26 years I’ve used the same exact pillow every night of my life. I’m aware that that is disgustting, I also don’t care.
By Mrs. M on 2007 03 28
I still know where my doll Audrey is.
By mdvelazquez on 2007 03 28
I still have mine up on a shelf and cannot bring myself to throw the ugly thing away. it is a part of my past plus my Dad gave it to me when I was 2 or 3 and I still remember that day! Lily doesn’t have one but Emma does and I felt your pain. If lovey is in the wash many a time it doesn’t make it to the dryer, I just hand the wet thing to Emma who grabasses it post haste and with the evil eye cast in my direction.
By texasbelle on 2007 03 28