Find me on most of the social spaces as Mrs. Flinger
In an effort to launch something in a very short timeframe, after three months of coding in off hours for stints of a few minutes at a time, I used a framework to get *something* out. This is not code I would use for a client. Ever.
In fact, if you could see my face right now, you'd realize this is a little more than painful.
But, as sometimes has to happen with personal projects, the non-paying personal site takes a backseat to quality and gets dressed in handmedown code. Thanks to VMcore for the free ride here.
Ready? Deep breath…. harmony.
Oh, what a bitch. Everyone knows you DO NOT EVER say something like that to someone unless you’ve seen the peed-on stick or the baby actually undulating like an alien beneath the shirt.
Back in September, when Delaney was six months old, a grocery store cashier asked me when I was due. I tearfully stammered that I wasn’t pregnant and got the hell out of there. Days later I joined a gym and spent $$$ on a personal trainer. He made me whimper in pain twice a week for 8 months and yet I can STILL pass for someone in her second trimester if I wear the wrong top.
I like your take on it…use this as a premonition not an insult. Maybe the bitch knows something you don’t.
Does this woman have kids because clearly if you are a mom you know that is a taboo question unless it is extremely obvious they are prego (like you just got an invitation to their baby shower.) When I was about 6 months pregnant with Caitlin a guy in my building asked me if I was DUE WITH TWINS. And you most certainly do not look prego in that photo. But hey, nice cleavage.
Drat those $5 shirts!! But, everyone knows that you NEVER EVER asked someone when they are due unless they know for sure.
Your face totally does not look bloated or nor does anything else.
These are times I simply take a deep breath and say “oh, well tomorrow is a new day.”
WHY DO PEOPLE ASK SUCH A THING WITHOUT PROOF POSITIVE THAT THERE IS REASON TO ASK!!!
I have a pronounced sway-back, so even when “skinny” my belly pokes out. I have spent my post-puberty life deflecting idotic “When are you due?” queries. I have yet to handle it well but saying, “40 weeks after I get pregnant,” tends to shut people up.
I wouldn’t say you look pregnant. With the shirt, I might wonder, but I would DEFINITELY take some time watching you for clues and maybe ask around first before asking you about it!
Maybe it is a premonition, though. If so, this could change from a “Do you believe this bitch?” story to a “Do you believe this freaky story?” story.
Take it as good vibes, but blame the shirt. Nobody looks slim in that style of tops. Plus, even Reese W. and Julia R. can’t wear that style without getting a tabloid cover about baby no. 3. But I bet that’s the last time she makes that mistake….We all learn the hard way to NEVER ask somebody witout already knowing the answer.
And enjoy those boobs! They are what Vneck shirts are made for.
I’m thinking she saw the tie-in-back top and assumed maternity, since so many maternity tops are like that. But still…to say something without really already knowing is crazy…my brother worked at Target one summer and they told him not to comment EVEN if the woman was buying oodles of baby stuff!
The “overheard on the baby monitor” scene would be good in a sitcom!
Totally not a fish-hag. She’s lucky she only got called a bitch. I would have decked her. I did deck someone who asked me if I was pregnant. One of the big no no questions, ever.
You look AB-FAB darling!! When I get asked when I am due, I say, “I’m not pregnant, I’m fat. Thanks so much for ruining my day.” HA
I wish I looked as good as you.
I once said fuck over the intercom when I worked at Target. Yeah, there is a good move to make.
one rule i learned by proxy (my mom insulted a cousin) was to never EVER EVER ask when someone is due. You just cannot assume something like that and I bet the lady who asked you (and the rest of her family) has learned a valuable lesson. oh well. shit happens, the baby monitor catching your eery word is exactly something that would happen to me.
PS You look cute as a button but I would have never thought ’ OMG she IS totally pregnant! ‘
I love that shirt! Did the outlet have any more? At any rate, I’d be tempted to say something snarky about either just having a baby or saying I’d just had a miscarriage (to make ‘em feel bad and leave me alone). But I’m in yet another snarky mood.
You made me laugh so hard I cried - mostly because that is so something that would happen to me. I think you look great in your new top!
You know, one of the great things about being pregnant right now is that all the “normal” clothes at target, Old Navy, etc. look like maternity tops anyway. I’ve hardly had to buy any dedicated “maternity tops” because of this.
I just never thought about how that could come back to bite you if you actually aren’t pregnant.
Just think of it this way - these moments of mortification are what make your blog so fun to read!
I have indeed been asked if when I was due when I was not pregnant. I was standing in line at a military convenience mart in Okinawa, with my husband right in front of me. The saleslady was ringing up our purchases, looked at my size 1X dark blue w/sunflowers shirt, and asked, “Oh When are you due? Looks like soon!” My face immediately went hot and my husband pretended he didnt hear a damn thing. I stammered that I was NOT pregnant, and unfortunately, I said it pretty loud because I was PISSED. LOts of people turned their head and looked quickly away. I hussled myself and my three year old out of there with my husband looking like he’d rather go ANYWHERE than have to get into our car with me.
I admit it… I cried when I got home.
Just sit back and enjoy the boobies. And, yeah, she broke the cardinal rule: never ask unless you have confirmation of an actual pregnancy.
That happened to a friend of mine, the stupid woman actually patted Allisons stomach and said “look how cute you are with your belly!” She was too shocked to even tell the woman that she wasnt pregnant. (in all honesty, Allison even admitted that her stomach was the same size when she was about 5 months pregnant with her son, but at that particular time she wasnt pregnant)
I think its awesome that the moniter was on, so everyone downstairs knew that she was a dumb insensitive cow she is.
I dont care if I was actually pregnant, some random person pats my stomach, they get smacked.
the shirt is cute and your boobs look fabulous
Damn those baby monitors! Bet the walk downstairs was fun! I say you take this post and print it out for the other kid’s baby book as a memento of her eventful birthday party. Also, print out a second one JUST IN CASE it’s the story of “How I found I was pregnant with you from a total stranger…”
Now go pee on a stick and laugh as hard as this story deserves.
OK, when I was in college, I ran go-karts during the summer. And up on the sign in big-ol’ letters it explained how pregnant riders were not allowed to ride. Being a male in my early 20’s, I had about Zero experince hanging around pregnant folk (just the 24 hour a day thought process around how to go about doing the thing that leads to babies…. ah, youth..)Anyway, we’d get the obviously-pregnant riders who would get pissed and want to ride anyway, down to the oh-crap-is-she-pregnant-or-is-that-just-a -FUPA-please-god-do-I-have-to-ask one’s. I was wrong (luckily only like twice)and do not ever want to experince the horror I felt during the aftershock of, “I’M NOT PREGNANT” thing. Thank GOD go-cart rides were only 5 minutes…
That is my husband, not me!
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