Call God or maybe Bruce Lee; the baby is EATING MY BRAIN

May 09, 2007

#Pregnancy#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz

Hi there! Well, hello! I can’t seem to keep my mind focused on one thing longer than .2 seconds, which is not long enough to write a post, mind you, and thus have attempted to write FOUR THOUSAND posts in the last two days, all of which look something like this:

“You know how when….”

“One day I was…..”

“It was a dark and stormy night….”

Ok, no, that last one was the start of my latest best-selling-novel that never got past seven words long. It was a damn fine read, though, in my head.

I’ve started seven projects, three websites, two loads of laundry and a grocery list, all of which remain unfinished. I believe I washed half the kitchen floor, but the kitchen floor runs in to the dining room floor and runs in to the living room floor and that’s just too much floor to wash at one time. So I took a nap instead.

My daughter is loving the new thrilling life we lead. She seems to communicate better with me on this level. “You want to watch Sesame Street?” “Yes!” Three minutes later we’re both bored and unsure of what we were going to do. “How about we go to the park?” “OK!” Five minutes in to packing the bag I’ll remember an email I need to send, which is just fine because she’s now engrossed in a village of little people and unaware we had plans. Thirty minutes after I download six songs from iTunes, start another website and email two people, none of which was the original email I remembered I need to write, I’ll stand up, stretch, and say, “Should we watch Sesame Street?”

She seems to like this new Mommy.

I, on the other hand, am having a hard time remembering to go to the grocery store or, say, shower once a day, which does nothing for one’s social life. It’s funny, at first, this new dizty version of myself that I’m carting around. It’s almost as if I should go back to that year I was blonde, start wearing makeup, and show more cleavage. Instead, I’m waddling around town with my head up my ass, totally unaware that I’ve knocked down three small children (I can’t see you down there, FYI), stepped in a pile of dog crap and clothes-lined some old lady crossing the street.

I have an OB appointment tomorrow. I may ask to move up the C-section if it’s at all possible. I’m no longer asking for myself. I’m asking for the good of all man-kind. And also my shoes.


  1. So when does the fuzzy brain go away exactly?  My muffin is 7.5 months and I still can’t have a complete thought…...did you say something?!?

    By Skyzi on 2007 05 10

  2. You’re losing the token IQ points. I posted about it last June (“Losing Points Quickly”). There’s actually SCIENCE to back it up!!! Just remember, you still have about 18 years to go. Think of that when you feel like you can’t get any stupider. HA!

    By MGM on 2007 05 10

  3. Hilarious.  So you’re pregnant.  What’s my excuse?

    By Emily on 2007 05 10

  4. Oh man. I have days like that and I’m not the least bit pregnant. I’m hoping to get some brain cells back by the time my son graduates high school.

    By Marie on 2007 05 10

  5. OH God I feel the exact same way. I cannot imagine how frustrating it is to carry on a conversation with me. I check out halfway through a sentence. I ask my husband the same question I asked him an hour ago and really? I have no idea the answer. The bit about walking down the street and stepping in crap and knocking down kids - I’m so that right now. I’m trying to remember to change the boy’s diaper a few times a day and to keep him fed. The feeding part is easier cause I’m hungry all the friggin time. What is your c/s date? Mine is June 29 - 38.5 weeks.

    By Susie on 2007 05 10

  6. I hear ya, and to Skyzi- it never does come back…especially if you have more.
    Off to take my nap…

    By sarahgrace on 2007 05 10

  7. This is why we have to homeschool.  I’m getting stupider and stupider, so I’ll need to learn/relearn right along with ‘em.
    I’m still a project schitzo though… today we’re cartwheeling between transplanting baby plants, watching Futurama, naps, laundry on the clothesline, thinking about dinners for the rest of the month, blah blah blah.  I don’t think I’ve actually completed anything yet though.

    By Lanna on 2007 05 10

  8. AW! Seriously hon, you don’t have long to go now! I still have the baby brain insanity but am attributing it to 1) nursing which kills brain cells and 2) it’s been proven that one loses copius amounts of brain cells at delivery. Which is a lot like losing brain cells when getting married. You do the math, by now I have like 3 left.

    By texasbelle on 2007 05 13