Christmas Tree on a Suicide Mission: Perhaps I’ll join…

Dec 23, 2005

#Rants and Raves

Our Christmas tree has turned Mary Kate (or was it Ashley?) Olson and stopped eating. It refuses water. It will not drink even though the basin is full. The little needles are beginning to dry out and become brittle and fall. It doesn’t have long now.

This sounds a wee bit more appealing, to die a little every day, then put up with the current living situation. I will go apeshit and my head will spin three-sixty and fire will begin shooting out of my eyes. Don’t push it. Seriously.


  1. Them’s fightin’ words!  I wanna see you go apeshit!  I’ll be right down.

    Why don’t you just tell them they could stay in a hotel…or better yet…stayed home?!!

    By Paige (CoraBelle) on 2005 12 23

  2. hahaha ah, your house smells like pee, while I know our house has a definet pee/poop lingering smell no one has pointed out the obvios to us lol

    By Sarah on 2005 12 23

  3. New to your blog… and I’m glad I went through the registration process… because this crap is FUNNY.
    Heads spinning, fire shooting out of eyes.
    This is my kind of blog!
    Happy Christmas!
    I’ll be back!

    By kelly on 2005 12 23

  4. just smile and say’ merry fucking christmas and excuuuuuuuse me!’ please don’t go apeshit, i need you drinking with me!

    By texasbelle on 2005 12 23

  5. Crazy house guests will make anyone go apeshit, especially when they stay too damn long.  Tell them they really need a frickin’ hotel.

    By traci on 2005 12 23

  6. At least, christmas is in two days! The christmas tree can do whatever it wants afterwards!

    By denise on 2005 12 23

  7. Put this big fat smile on your face and “kindly” tell them <strike>to shove it</strike> that if they don’t like something, change it - and if they can’t change it, then f-them, they can change the way they think about it!

    By Charla on 2005 12 24

  8. Just wanted to let you know, your tree isnt the only one who took a dump before christmas, the last week ours has been dryer then dry, you touch it and the needles break and crumble. Its also a shade of brown…blah!

    By Bree on 2005 12 24

  9. yeah..maybe they should stay at a hotel next time wink

    By Kerry on 2005 12 29