Faces of our past, present and future

15/Jan/2009

I distinctly remember my mom once talking to a friend on the phone and laughing animatedly while yelling, “I look like my mother!” I remember her saying one day she looked in the mirror and she was Grandma. That was it. She just turned in to Grandma one day and never saw it coming.

It scared the shit out of me.

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*Me: 4yrs, Oma: 29yrs.

I was probably four or five at the time, listening to her go on about aging and gray hair and wrinkles. About her body. About being a mom. I was taken aback some. Wasn’t she always a Mom? Ever since I knew her, she was. My entire life she looked pretty much the same so where was this “shock”, this “coming out of left field” when she looked in the mirror?

She looked the exact same to me.

It never occurred to me that my own mom was once my age. That she used to be young. That she WAS young, at twenty-nine, laughing in to the phone at twenty-nine. That one day I’d look at the same pictures of myself and vaguely remember a time before I was a mom. Before I was gray. Before my belly jiggled with the emptiness of a twice-occupied uterus.

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*Oma: 4yrs

I point out pictures to my daughter and she guesses it’s her. “Is that me?” “No, that’s me!” I say. She looks at me quizzically. To her it’s as hard to grasp as addition or not getting her own pink room. Then she shrugs and runs up to her room to play princess.

But I stare at our faces, wondering if we’re really in there. I notice how similar my niece is to my mom. I study my chin and my daughter’s chin. I wonder if I really did give her more than butt dimples.

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*Me: 4yrs

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*LB: 4yrs

And then I shrug, put the pictures away and go play princess with her. Sometimes the past doesn’t matter. Like today.

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Comments

  1. how cute is she!  well both of you really!  love that dimple!

    By natalie on 2009 01 15

  2. All 3 of you are beautiful.

    (Says the one who looks exactly like her mother, too)

    By Ree on 2009 01 15

  3. These pictures are all so fantastic. I LOVE looking at old family photos and seeing traces of family members in myself, in my sister. It’s so fascinating to me, the traits we both took from either side of the family.

    By Kerri Anne on 2009 01 15

  4. Beautiful!  Thanks for sharing!

    By KC on 2009 01 15

  5. Love the thought of “butt dimples.” (In a totally non-crazy-stalker way.)

    By patois on 2009 01 15

  6. Okay, I LOVE your site!!

    (I feel a bit like a dunce, but I thought your main site was Flinger Two Point Oh. That one’s nice, don’t get me wrong, but everything here as been superb.)

    Got you in my reader now!!! smile

    Best,
    Stacy

    By Stacy (mama-om) on 2009 01 15

  7. What’s even scarier sometimes is when I open my mouth and my mother’s VOICE comes out.

    But you can’t outrun your DNA. I’ve been telling my boys for years, “If you want to know what life with your girlfriend/fiance/wife will be like, LOOK AT HER MOTHER.”

    Because that is totally her future.

    By Amy on 2009 01 16

  8. i love to look at old pictures of my mom and my dad and my grandparents to see how the genes played out in my three children.

    i may have to post about this!

    By ali on 2009 01 16

  9. You mom is beautiful. Your future is looking good.

    By carol at A Second Cup on 2009 01 17

  10. HAHAHAHAHA You look like mom!!! HAHAHAHAHA Even more funny that your kids look NOTHING like our family. NOTHING.  Did you even HAVE those kids?

    By sister flinger on 2009 01 18

  11. Um would you rather look like your dad…who is a MAN? Then you would look MANNISH! I am glad to look like Nana Tantrum, because for just over 50 she is dang hot…which means at just over 50 I will be damn hot too!

    LB looks like you, just a much more sophisticated version, and much more serious.

    By Mrs. Tantrum on 2009 01 18