Flashback Friday: How Tiffany Changed My Life

29/Feb/2008

Remember those angsty years known as “The Eighties” and possibly “The Decade Following The Eighties” or even “The Decade Before The Eighties”? Because, frankly, if you remember The Eighties, you’ll remember they were loud, bossy, full of ozone-depleting sprays and makeup and really quite full of themselves.

And now? We’re bringin’ it all back. (And by “we” I mean Sweetney and Her Bad Mother had a brilliant idea and let us play along.)

Your first assignment (should you choose to play along and face it, you will) is to let us know how (obscure old pop rock band) changed your life. Mine is a story, of a girl, with a song in her heart about what could’ve been.

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As a typical eighth grade girl in 1988, I pined over a certain typical eighth grade boy: Steve Nelson Martin Jr. That’s right, I was in love with Steve Martin, only not the one with the big nose, the other much less famous but much cuter and acne-free version. I pined and I pined. I wrote letters to him in my journal. I wrote notes to him in class. I wrote really very awful poetry full of obvious rhymes like, “If there is a heaven above, let me win your love.” (Incidentally, these same words later became part of the lyrics of a one hit wonder.)  I even wrote a short story based on “characters” named “Rosy Cheeks” (you’re gagging?) and Steve* (so clever, I am.)

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Enter the woman with no need for a last name who simply is to be forever known as: TIFFANY.

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The flowers you gave me
Are just about to die
When I think about
What couldve been
It makes me want to cry

I remember lying on my bed, singing the words, each one on purpose, with feeling. You know, the kind of “feeling” that makes you put your thumb to your mouth as you sing like a fake microphone. Try it now, sing in to your thumb, sway a bit, thereya go.

The sweet words you whispered
Didnt mean a thing
I guess our song is over
As we begin to sing

Oh, and the horror! The love that’s over before it’s begun. YES! I’d think, She’s singing about us! The dance I should’ve made it to, to dance with HIM, my one chance to lock arms awkwardly around his neck while he puts his hands behind my back and we swayed, unevenly, to the late 80’s love ballads was thwarted. I was grounded two days before the eighth grade dance. I was upset. I was cursed. I was Tiffany. More awful poetry resulted.

Couldve been so beautiful
Couldve been so right
Couldve been my lover

I’d giggle, “Lover.”

Couldve been so beautiful
Couldve been so right
I’ll never hold what couldve been
On a cold and lonely night

A few months following the dance, the 8th grade dance that should’ve been my night to fo-makout with Steve Nelson Martin Jr (just in case he is googling his name now and can finally read my

much improved writing

really bad poetry about him) I’d gathered enough courage to fess my feelings up to him. I marched right up to him and handed him a note.

I ended the note with this Everytime I get my hopes up, They always seem to fall. Still what couldve been is better than what could never be at all.

He started seeing my best friend a few days later. I never did get to make out with him.

Still, though, there is the memory of what could’ve been. There’s the memory of 1988, the memory of big bangs and sad ballads and very bad poetry.

But thankfully, it’s little more than a memory. Just like Tiffany.

*I can not even believe I found this photo of him. In a stash of four trillion bad haircut photos, fashions and notes, I found this one gem. Steve Martin Jr. 9th grade school picture. Steve, don’t sue me, please. I’m sure you cut the mullet shortly after this was taken.
**I did a quick search and found out he did become a doctor after all. A good christian doctor. A family man. Boy, I know how to pick ‘em.
*** For the record, I met my husband the following year. Of course, I didn’t marry him for another 10 years, but I did write really bad poetry for him in 1989. Like I said, at 12 and 13, I really know how to pick’em.

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Wanna join the Flash Back Friday? Follow these supah badass bloggers who are also participating. And don’t ask who I had to sleep with to get listed in that stack with those am-az-effing women. I won’t tell.

*Updating list as they come in* Check back * Word *
Sweetney: http://www.sweetney.com/sweetney/2008/02/oh-hai-i-upgrad.html
Her Bad Mother: http://badladies.blogspot.com/2008/02/come-armageddon-come.html
Oh The Joys: http://othejoys.blogspot.com/2008/02/since-youre-gone.html
Mamalogues: http://www.mamalogues.com/2008/02/friday_flashback_how_jerry_ree.html
Girl’s Gone Child: http://girlsgonechild.blogspot.com/2008/02/where-you-goin-with-my-heart-in-your.html
Whoorl: http://whoorl.com/archives/770
Mom-101: http://www.mom-101.blogspot.com
Izzymom: http://izzymom.com

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If you do write a post, be sure to link back and list the participants. You know, so we can come find you and revel in your teenage angst.

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Oh, sure, everyone else is being all deep and reflective and shit and I’m posting about writing bad poetry and NOT MAKING OUT while everyone else is posting the songs they lost their virginity to or making out to or reflecting on how their lives totally improved/changed profoundly/re-cultivated and I’m all, “OMG! This boy I haven’t thought about in twenty years, like, totally! OMG!”

Cough

That is all. Resume your awesomeness writing please.

Hi

14 guests here now.

Comments

  1. I seriously love 80’s nostalgia. It gives me that warm fuzzy feeling. This is going to be fun.

    By Heather B. on 2008 02 29

  2. Love that CocaCola sweater! smile

    By Dawn S. on 2008 02 29

  3. I can’t think on one song per se, but I remember my girlfreind breaking up with her b-friend of the time and her sitting 2 inches from these HUGE speakers with Love Bites by Def Lepard BLARING OVER and OVER..Incidentally, I have an autographed ALBUM from Tiffany from when I met her in person AT THE MALL..Jen R

    By Jen Rizzo on 2008 02 29

  4. Thanks SO MUCH for getting that damn song stuck in my head. 

    Those pictures are too funny.  I hope Steve Nelson Martin Jr. googles himself and finds your tribute to him. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it!  Or be terrified by it.  Whatever.

    By AMomTwoBoys on 2008 02 29

  5. That you could find those pictures? AMAZING.

    (Love the hair. Yours, I mean. His will give me boyfriend-flashback nightmares.)

    By Her Bad Mother on 2008 02 29

  6. woman, I can’t believe you listed his full name!  Wait.  Yeah I can.

    I’ll pass on this go around.  Believe it or not there was never a major music group that “changed my life” when I was in Junior high and high school.  Mine didn’t come til college when I switched to country and became absolutley obsessed with Garth Brooks.  I like all kinds of music but damn Garth just does something for me, no one else ever has.

    Sigh…

    By Sleeping Mommy on 2008 02 29

  7. Too funny!

    By Holly on 2008 02 29

  8. He is SO going to google his name and see this. You are a brave, brave, woman. (and not just because you posted the photo.) Great post!

    By mom101 on 2008 02 29

  9. Before I finish reading the post I must go download some Tiffany music into my iPod. OMG, I love Tiffany.

    He was just 17 / If you know what I mean.

    My husband is going to so love you for reminding me of Tiffany!!!

    By Dre the Texican on 2008 02 29

  10. Absofrakkinglutely!

    I was sooo 80’s…..I loved the clothes, the hair, the music.

    Waaay too much nostalgia…
    check out my photos!

    By Crunchy Carpets on 2008 02 29

  11. Oh this looks like so much fun but it would take me days to nail down just one song from way back when since music pretty much defined my life, but I did post something not too long ago that I think fits the bill. I’m not sure how to participate though, so whip me with a wet noodle (ooh baby) if I get this wrong but I’ll copy and paste the link to my post on this topic here in your comment thingee but I’m not sure if it will be clickable. I hope you like it. It’s got curse words in it and everything! http://themacmommy.blogspot.com/2008/01/words-we-can-no-longer-sing.html

    And then, just for fun, my 20-month-old has already experienced something from a song that I think has changed his life and ours and that’s located here: http://themacmommy.blogspot.com/2008/01/first-favorite-song.html
    I hope you get a laugh or a pensive chin rub out of it.

    By TheMacMommy on 2008 02 29

  12. The photos just bring it home. He has the sweetest perma-mullet ever. Remember when that was so hot??

    By Dana on 2008 02 29

  13. Ah, Tiffany!  Why don’t pop stars do concerts in malls anymore?

    Gotta’ love the 80’s

    By LifeAsIKnowIt on 2008 02 29

  14. ok, so I had some more fun with this and wanted to share the love. Thanks for the inspiration! My blog now links back to this post. I’ll also start listing the participants too. http://themacmommy.blogspot.com/

    By TheMacMommy on 2008 02 29

  15. TIFFANY! I had completely forgotten about Tiffany! (Probably a result of my own mental block.) smile

    By whoorl on 2008 02 29

  16. He started seeing your best friend? Little turd!

    By Izzy on 2008 02 29

  17. For the record, I don’t think it would’ve worked out, what with him being all an Elder in his church and whatnot and me, the red wine drinking SAHM from Seattle, not Texas. Luckily, I really only think of him when I hear Tiffany.

    Which is, um, never.

    By Mrs. Flinger on 2008 02 29

  18. Was she still your best friend after that? That’s the real story.

    Blog Hopping—HP

    By HP on 2008 02 29

  19. I love this post and the accompanying pictures.  have a good weekend! smile

    By amanda on 2008 02 29

  20. OMG. What a great post. If only I had pictures from the 80’s on my computer. I need to get those from my parents!


    Hoppin~
    Anastasia Beaverhousin

    By Shannanb aka Mommy Bits on 2008 03 01