Mar 15, 2009

#Family Life

This is going to sound a little .. new-agy? Like we’re strung out on acid wearing tie-die with seven inch sunglasses on? Or like we’ve totally gone over the deep end.( Which is very possible.)

Today’s Sunday Reflection is on Harmony and why we’re struggling to keep it.

The mister and I talk about the piece of string that holds us all together, this tether, in our family. Each of us pulled and tugged and influenced by the emotions of each other. When one person is off, we’re all a little off. There is no self in the continuum that is our family.

It’s just the nature of family.

Growing up, I can think of times when our harmony was on, and times when it was off. You can do the same, I’m sure. The times you each notice and adjust for the moods of the other until one person is so off balance they fall and pull all of you with them like a tug-of-war.

As a young child my dad went back to school for his MBA and then later his PhD. He worked to provide for the family while pursuing his education in hopes of getting all of us to a better place. He showed us love by working. As a child, I didn’t get this. I just knew he was gone a lot and didn’t understand the bigger picture.

This is the nature of children.

Mr. Flinger and I talk about this often, knowing our children, while effecting the harmony of the family, will not understand the bigger tug. They will not get that we’re working extra hours to ensure a better life, find a bigger house, get out of certain debt. They don’t know the love we have for them while we sacrifice our wants for their security. They can’t. They’re children.

But the weight, it tugs at the Mister and I. It pulls each of us differently and we begin to tip in opposite directions wondering why the other can’t see what’s going on.

So we talk and try to fix the string, the harmony, the family. I’m starting to realize how often my parents must have done the same thing to keep that string for so long. How easy it would be to let go sometimes. To want to not work so hard at holding the other people’s string and pull, pull, pull.

Until you remember that Harmony is possible. It’s yours. And so are they.


(Today’s soundtrack for this post is One Day by Meiko.)


  1. I think you can comment now? YES. Yes you can.

    Seriously, I thought it was me…

    By Mrs. Flinger on 2009 03 16

  2. I love this post!
    Not only is the balance of every person’s pulling delicate, but so is how hard you’re holding onto it.  I think as a mother I sometimes not only hold the string but get it all wrapped around my waist and tangled.  To take the analogy too far, you also have to make sure not to trip…

    By Heather on 2009 03 16

  3. Notice how older strings are so well-worn?  It’s from all the years of pulling, straining then relieving.  They almost appear “fuzzy” and they’re soft.  Much softer and more comfortable than they were long ago.

    This was a good one.  Made me think.  Thanks for that.

    By Susan on 2009 03 16

  4. I love your analogies, ya’ll! Seriously. It’s true, the string thing. Frayed and tight, I do them both.

    By Mrs. Flinger on 2009 03 16

  5. It pulls each of us differently and we begin to tip in opposite directions wondering why the other can’t see what’s going on.

    Yup, this happens to us and for some reason it smacks us in the face each time.  Go figure….

    I love this post!!!

    By Darla on 2009 03 22