He calls himself an engineer

29/Nov/2006

I wonder how long you people will have to tell me “Congratulations! You’re pregnant!” because I think I don’t believe you. I think it’s new news every time I pee on a stick, get an ultrasound, hear the heartbeat. It’s like I don’t remember that I keep puking in between appointments or gaining weight or crying at the Deli counter in Safeway.

Will you still congratulate me at my 20 week ultrasound when I am in complete shock that a whole person is actually in MY BODY and then again when I realize this entire person has to COME OUT OF MY BODY? Thanks. You are the best.

(Seriously, it’s like I haven’t done this before. Mommy-brain is so much worse than I ever knew.)

Perhaps the only other person who suffers from Mommy brain worse than I do is Mr. Flinger. We are already having of the exact same debates we had just over two years ago. “I have seven more months to go,” I complained last night. “No you don’t, you have less than six months. You’re already three months pregnant, right?” “YES, but Mr. Smart Math Man, you’re pregnant for 40 weeks. Divide that by 4 weeks a month and Viola! Ten months of pregnancy! Of course, two of those are ‘free’ so really you gestate for nine and a half months. Which is why I have six and a half more months to go. Dumbass.” (There is often an implied dumbass at the end of my sentences but sometimes I vocally throw it in.) “No, you’re more than a quarter of the way there, twleve weeks. three months. Six more to go.” “Hi. My due date is June 13th. It’s not even December yet.”

Then we launched in to the great “you’re in the thirteenth week” versus “you are twelve weeks pregnant” debate.

This is what happens when we can’t leave the house because of ice and snow. I used to think I wanted to live in Alaska, like in Northern Exposure, and be a Bush Pilot just like Maggie (seriously, I thought that, it’s sad and I know it). Now I’m fairly sure I’d go completely insane and probably forget things worse than math, like how to pee in a toilet or.. gasp.. how to use the Internet.

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Comments

  1. You make me laugh!!!

    By Amanda on 2006 11 29

  2. I think they say nine months just to make people feel better, since it seems forever!  At least it isn’t years, like some animals… isn’t it the elephant that is pregnant for like 2 and a half years?  OH MY.

    You make me laugh, too!

    By Holly on 2006 11 29

  3. Alright!!!! you have it better than I do. Dh has been through two pg’s with me and I KNOW he couldn’t tell you how many weeks there are in a pregnancy. Could be why he didn’t give a crap when I went to 42 weeks with both girls.

    By Lgirl on 2006 11 29

  4. I am with Holly, the “9 month” pregnancy term is a pipe dream meant to make you hate the last 4 weeks.  (At least for me it was that way.)  I think that Mr. Jelly Belly and I would continue to have the 9 vs. 10 month debate regardless of how many babies we would have.

    By traci on 2006 11 29

  5. No no.  What’s sad is when you have the exact same conversation with YOURSELF!  I usually have to go to my blog to finally show myself that yes, I’m XX weeks pregnant (usually followed by “OH MY GOD!  I’m XXX weeks pregnant?!?!  I can’t be!  No way!”)
    Anne

    By Annie De on 2006 11 29

  6. When I was little, I always heard 10 months pregnancy, 10 months pregnancy…. but here only takes 9 or 9.5.  umm.. why is that? ‘cause different part of the earth? wink
    Ok, I know I shouldn’t comment on posts that are related to pregnancy.

    Anyways, you said.. “Mr. Smart Math Man”. It made me laugh.

    By Kerry on 2006 11 29

  7. Then you FINALLY get to the last week or so, and time starts craaawwwllling by.  My OB said NEXT WEEK - I should have gotten a guarantee in writing!

    I think mommy-brain is seriously a protective mechanism.  Would I really be excited about delivering soon if I remembered clearly about the 3rd degree tear, extra-super maxi pads, and infected breasts?!?

    By AmyM on 2006 11 29

  8. I think its bc you wanted this so badly that your having a hard time really believing that its actually happening.
    I’ll tell you congrats every week if you want smile

    Congrats!

    By Sara on 2006 11 29

  9. The numbering is quite confusing. I just had to explain to a student that the fact that her sister claimed to be “1 week pregnant” needed some clarification.

    But, seriously, congratulations again and, BTW, you-are-growing-a-baby. Really.

    By Sara on 2006 11 29

  10. i’m not sure i am humanly capable of not congratulating you.  So hey, Congratulations smile!

    By Piglet on 2006 11 29

  11. Well, I for one I have yet to wish you congratulations!, so here I am, wishing you congratulations! : ) Awesome news.

    By kerrianne on 2006 11 29

  12. Hee hee hee…yes, the 9months vs. 40 weeks thing is a little difficult to explain, and not just to hubbys….

    Oh, and congratulations! wink

    By sarahgrace on 2006 11 29

  13. Wow, Northern Exposure. There is a blast from the past. One of the last network TV series’ that I could actually stand to watch regularly.


    Oh, congratulations Dumbass. wink

    By IrishWalsh on 2006 11 29

  14. Congratulations!

    I can’t like snow and ice.  I’m a grumpy miserable person in winter. <G>

    I think the “9 months” thing is used to lure you into thinking it isn’t that long.  Ten months is too close to one year wink

    Maria

    P.S. I will still congratulate you at 39 and 40 weeks because I know if I were ever able to have a baby each week I would say “Yeah! P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T!”

    By mdvelazquez on 2006 11 30

  15. Um, yeah, yet another way you can tell you’re pregnant is when you sit down to read M.F.‘s latest post and while doing so devour the last fifth of a grande bag of cheese tortilla chips (I wish they were Doritos).  And that was just the beginning of my foraging in the cupboards for lunch.
    My husband also has pregnancy brain as in I had to literally tell him five times on five seperate occasions why I needed to have my car Tuesday so I could take the baby to his wellness check-up.
    As for Mommy Brain, the only way I seem to be able to express a lucid thought lately is by blogging.  Sheesh.
    Ahh, Maggie- you’d make a great Maggie.

    By Jessica on 2006 11 30

  16. Congratulations!  (just throwing it out there)

    It really is 9 months.  A month is not 4 weeks.  A month is not 28 days.  Those extra 3 or 4 days every month add up and eat up that 10th “month”.  It gets divided among the other 9 months.

    I hope I’m explaining this clearly.  A pregnant woman trying to talk math to another pregnant woman is a recipe for disaster. 

    It doesn’t matter because time slows down in the 3rd trimester anyway, and that feels like about 8 months, so it all adds up somehow.  Or something.  I have a headache now.

    Um, congratulations!

    By Mary on 2006 11 30

  17. Congratulations!! For the first time..from me.  I absolutely hate cold weather.  I wish humans were like bears and we just hibernated through winter.

    By Emily on 2006 11 30

  18. Everyone knows how during your second pregnancy you’re not supposed to remember how far along you are.

    Also, really, birth the second time was much better. I think it is because you know that the old cooch does go back to normal size.

    By Sarcastic Journalist on 2006 11 30

  19. In response to Emily’s…I wish women were bears (aren’t we though) and could hibernate through the first three months of pregnancy.  Seriously!!

    By sarahgrace on 2006 11 30

  20. I guess it all comes down to inconsistency in women’s health terms!

    As Mary said it really is 9 months, that is 9 calendar months… but when you get a “month” worth of bc pills a month=4 weeks.  So it makes sense to say a pregnancy is 10 months, since we are talking about the same sort of thing. (Birth, birth control)

    By Holly on 2006 11 30