Find me on most of the social spaces as Mrs. Flinger
In an effort to launch something in a very short timeframe, after three months of coding in off hours for stints of a few minutes at a time, I used a framework to get *something* out. This is not code I would use for a client. Ever.
In fact, if you could see my face right now, you'd realize this is a little more than painful.
But, as sometimes has to happen with personal projects, the non-paying personal site takes a backseat to quality and gets dressed in handmedown code. Thanks to VMcore for the free ride here.
Beautifully told and so touching. I too hope the PPD skips a generation (or, even better, dissipates completely!). That said, there’s no shame in showing your kids (at the appropriate age) that parents are human and struggle. She’ll love you more for all that you suffered through for her.
This brings back a lot of memories, but I’m glad you wrote it. You wrote it well. I didn’t know that PPD could be a generational thing and now I’m wondering a lot about my own mother, little snippets of conversation that I recall from my own time under the cloud. Huh.
Wow, Leslie. Your story will help your daughter and many others.
I wish more moms would be vocal about this. It’s a difficult thing to admit that you don’t magically and instantly bond with your baby because that is what everyone expects. Things can be different for each person. Hugs to you.
I didn’t have PPD, but I AM paralyzed with fear for my babies when they are born.
Turns out I was right to be. Also turns out that all the watching and fear and worry in the world didn’t prevent it from happening.
This post really hits me hard right now because I’m paralyzed with fear all the time history is going to repeat itself. It’s a lot rougher than I thought it would be.
I agree, thank you for this post. It took me a year to admit to my husband and family doctor what I was feeling. It was a horrible year and I feel like I have missed out on so much b/c of it. I wish more people talked about the varying depths of PPD. I think often we try to talk ourselves out of what we are going through because we don’t think it could be happening or that we aren’t feeling it severely enough??? does that make sense? Again, thank you.
Like Star Wars *snort*
God Bless ya love. Thank you for sharing this.
“It’s not your fault, it’s just your story.” Oh those words are beautiful.
I was so full of anxiety I couldn’t sleep - ever. Every bad thing that happened to any small baby I had ever heard about - I saw Alex’s face. I had SIDS fear from the moment I put him in his crib and he screamed (and he never did sleep in his crib) It took me nine months to get help the wonders of Zoloft and Xanax.
And now he’s standing on a tall chair in front of my stove cooking. I’m gonna Xanax my whole life with this kid.
It’s great to share such a story, especially if doing so helps it not become your daughter’s story as well.
you make me weep, woman.
I came here because I read your “Blogging without guilt” and laughed so hard. “See there are 12 more people out there just like me”:).
But this story is so sweet in that weird way that “bad” things can be sweet. I worried sick over my babies too, for a myriad of reasons. I was never diagnosed with PPD, but those tiny little beings are so helpless.
With the last one, I took him to Africa when he was 6 weeks old. Ghana, to be exact. A country that has malaria. Yeah, I freaked out a bit for about a year with him (and the whole two years we lived there with the others).
Did you have to make me cry so early in the morning? Beautifully written.
What a beautiful post. I have had to deal with my own demons but I don’t think I could have said it as eloquently as you…
Beautiful post, Flinger… I love the pictures, too…. And, I know. I experienced all this DURING my pregnancy. I understand the paralysis, the pain, confusion. My mom didn’t experience what I experienced during her pregnancies. But, if she HAD, she would have understood it and been able to say the right things—instead of all the wrong things (during the first pregnancy at least; she learned from it for my next pregnancey). Not her fault—how could she understand!
So, it’s so important to be open, and not proud, and not to forget. So that if the same thing happens to your daughter, you’ll know just how to comfort her, give her strength and guide her….
amazing post sweetie.
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