How to make me hate shopping (and that’s hard to do)

Jul 29, 2005

Today I ran to The 100 dollar store, named as such because you can walk out with two products, contact solution and tampons and the total will come to 100 bucks. I purchased some stables for the home: Halibut, salad, yogurts, bread, ept test, tomatoes, and turkey (incidentally, the total was 102.56. I rest my case).  Anyway, I’m standing in the checkout and the lady is cooing at LB. LB is doing her thing, smiling and whatnot and flirting with the masses. Lady rings me up. I punch in my pin for debit and she says, off handedly, not having put the EPT test in the cart yet, “Is this going to be a good thing?”

Now, stop right there. That, my friends, is a bitch.

Look, I don’t care what her intentions were. If I could find cheap pregnancy tests in bulk somewhere else with people who don’t pass judgment on new moms, I would. If you recall, this isn’t the first time costco has done this.

What did she want me to say? “Um.. no.. we’re terrified shitless.” “Oh, no, see, I don’t really think I’m pregnant. I’m just this hypochondriac freak that needs to prove to herself that she’s making up ligament pain, the pukes, and severe hunger, but thanks.” “Oh, yes, bitch, we want to overpopulate the world with our wiley ways. I’m reproducing a small clone army to take over the Bush administration.”


Excuse me, but do you plan on working at effin’ costco forever? ‘Cause lady, you’re 40-something and you’re a checker at Costco. ‘Nuff said.


  1. Ah, that sucks Les!  People need to learn to keep their traps shut!  BTW…I love that you bought tampons AND an EPT test.  Wishful thinking, huh?  wink

    By Paige (CoraBelle) on 2005 07 29

  2. Whats with people? She’s just not happy with her life. There must be a box that you check if you have no social skills on the Costco applications. I would write them a letter.:0) Take the test girl.

    By kelli on 2005 07 29

  3. Whoa girl!  how is it that YOU get all the socially inept checker’s at Costco?!  SHEESH!  And I totally hear you on the $100 thing.  We went to Sam’s Club this last week (WalMart’s version of Costco) and we got some paper towels, toilet paper and bath wash and it cost $120 something.  Okay we got a FEW more things (halibut for us, too!), but STILL!  Even though you save some, it’s such a ripoff all at once.

    By Holly on 2005 07 29

  4. Ugh…completely imappropriate. What did you say in response?? “Oh, we’ll let you know…you effing beeotz.”

    By texasbelle on 2005 07 30

  5. happened to me once,  where the lady said oh no you are much to young to be their mother!  I swear I was livid and said “yes I am their mother and I have two more children at home napping.  All that she said was oh wow, as she quicky walked to the otherside of the park. 

    That’s actually only one of the handful of rude parenting comments I’ve recieved.

    Best wishes to you and your family and hopefully soon to be “children”  smile

    By kbkb on 2005 07 30

  6. Yes, Costco is the 100 dollar store… *sigh*  Feel like sometimes, I should just cash the hubby’s paycheck and hand it right over to Costco…

    By Annie De on 2005 07 30

  7. And she didn’t comment on you buying tampons and the EPT. Since she was so nosy you would have thought that she would have said something.

    What a PRAT she is! You should totally pull out the can of whoop ass on her next time.

    Was it the same lady?

    By Nicole on 2005 07 30

  8. I had a lady at CVS ask me, when I bought a HPT, “Is this your first?”  Did she really want me to tell her that I was buying the HPT to make sure all the HCG was out of my system after a miscarriage? 

    The nerve of some people!

    By snarflemarfle on 2005 08 01