I picture Jesus sitting at his laptop alone in his hotel room in Jerusalem. He’s kicked off his sandals (marketed simply as “Jesus Sandals”) and stretches as he launches notepad. He has an inspired word and he begins to type. He starts: “I am Jesus. I want to share with you some ideas I have. Simple, easy ideas that will bring us all together. I want to give us community and peace and harmony. This world is a fucked up one, but I believe we are each able to contribute to the happiness of others. Cut the bullshit. Let’s love.”
He eyes his writing wondering if it’s too harsh. He hits the backspace key 413 times Click Click Click Click Click… He stops short and leaves the “I am.”
He ponders there for a while unaware of the consequences of this action, the impact it will have on his life and those for two thousand years and beyond. He wavers for a moment and stands to grab a drink, his favorite, wine.
Pausing long enough to fill another glass, he hits publish with those two words. “I am.”
It’s powerful and people comment.
There is hate-mail.
There is blasphemy.
There is confusion.
He steps up to defend his writing wanting to express the rest of the sentence unable to complete his thought. His community is angry, he has failed as his attempt to connect, he is hurt and saddened by the response.
It was supposed to be different.
This is how I picture each entry before I hit publish. I waver at times, wondering if anything truly meaningful will be well received. At times I hover above caring and calling the bullshit. Sometimes I’m not sure what the bullshit is. I hit delete 413 times unable to find the words to bond and not divide.
I stop short and hit publish all too often.
We are Jesus.
You are Jesus.
I am Jesus.
7 guests here now.
I am your mother
By Oma Flinger on 2009 07 25
Perfectly written. (and the 1st comment made me spit across my keyboard)
By Fairly Odd Mother on 2009 07 27
It’s so true…it’s so hard to know if the way the words resonate in one’s own head will be the same to the people reading it. There are posts when I backspace a lot, because what I want to say only seems to come out cheesy and stupid. And sometimes I throw caution to the wind and hit “publish” before really even reading it much.
By dancing_lemur on 2009 07 27
You are on a holy path.
Just keeping on walkin’.
By amanda on 2009 07 27
Such good work! And so true.
By Suzy Voices on 2009 07 27
I am the QUEEN of censoring myself for the sake of not sounding cheesy or nerdy or sappy or WHATEVER. I think everyone does it. BUT if it makes you feel better, I smile at almost everything you write. =)
By Whitney on 2009 07 27
1st timer reading your blog, and I’m not even sure how I ended up here but I just literally frozen reading this entry. It’s just that…. well, yea.
I don’t know how I got here but I will be back to read again.
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By tredasaza on 2009 07 28
By TexasRedTe on 2009 07 28
Very well written. I think everyone does this, and really the lesson we all need to learn is that we can’t please everyone. Part of the point of expressing our opinions and our thoughts is to share and to discuss. If everyone agrees with you and has the same thoughts, there isn’t much of a discussion. So it’s okay if someone disagrees, if someone calls you out on something you said. That’s part of having a conversation. It’s a good thing. So don’t be afraid to hit publish =]
By Reading Movers on 2009 07 28
By perksofbeingme on 2009 07 28
WOW! Just WOW!
And, you know what - I love *I Am* more than anything when I read it in the bible..or even here. Those two words resonate me like none other.
So, write what ya want and they will have the same impact I guar-on-tee it!
By Andrea @ MommySnacks.net on 2009 07 30
powerful story! “you go girl”
By tony on 2009 07 30
As a writer (aspiring, I should say), I struggle with just what I want to say with my words, knowing how much statements can be twisted or misinterpreted taken out of context or without the clever vocal inflection that dispels all doubt as to their meaning. Thank you for such a beautifully written piece and for giving me the courage to drop the “aspiring” in the future.
By Carly on 2009 07 30