Find me on most of the social spaces as Mrs. Flinger
In an effort to launch something in a very short timeframe, after three months of coding in off hours for stints of a few minutes at a time, I used a framework to get *something* out. This is not code I would use for a client. Ever.
In fact, if you could see my face right now, you'd realize this is a little more than painful.
But, as sometimes has to happen with personal projects, the non-paying personal site takes a backseat to quality and gets dressed in handmedown code. Thanks to VMcore for the free ride here.
This makes me cry a little because I am standing across from a widening gap from my 10 yr old daughter and I want the type of relationship with her that I never had with my own mother. But how do we get there? My 10 yr old has so much spirit and I fear that I spend part of every day breaking that sprirt. But I don’t want to do that. I want to embrace it. But I also don’t like spending my days being blamed for the world ending just because she can’t find a fucking pair of socks in her mess of a room or has now decided that the black velvet dress (that I paid FULL FUCKING price for 3 days ago) is no longer acceptable to wear tomorrow for a school photo and she now wants to wear black velvet pants and a white blouse. But I have to go to work and don’t have all day to spend shopping for a SECOND FUCKING outfit. Sorry , where was I? Oh yes. I’m right there with you and if anyone has the answer, will it work for me and my 10 yr old daughter?
Oh my sweet, sweet Leslie! My heart just breaks for you! Not because I pity you, but because I understand. A LOT of us understand. B is only three and there are days I literally think I cannot handle one more minute of her “three-ness.”
I hear you, I know that moment, those moments, that stretch of time that seems like forever when it’s only another day… another F’ING DAY. I think most parents feel this to one degree or another, and for you, it’s extremely acute right now because you’ve got TWO litle ones at very difficult stages. I honestly don’t know how most people do it. Maybe they lie when they say they love it, or maybe their children are just not as challenging, but for a lot of people (as evidenced by all the blogs out there) THIS SHIT IS HARD. HARD hard, not just “Oh, it’s the toughest job you’ll ever love.” It’s hard like I DON’T WANNA DO IT ANYMORE moments, and moments when you’d SWEAR you could give it up.
I won’t belittle your feelings by saying “it will pass” or “it will get better,” because that doesn’t help. What might help is maybe to take the same tactic you did awhile back with dieting. You said you just did the diet for one day. And if you did well, that was great. If not, you tried again the next day. Maybe applying that to parenting, but allowing the positives and successes to build and support you would help? I don’t know, but I’m here sending as big a hug as I can. You can always email me if you need a shoulder!
Four is “human enough to reason with??”
Nope, sorry, wrong. Foiled again Flingilicious.
the joys of having a 4 Yr old! Ry is totally a drama queen. I laugh now when she is sent to her room and she screams “why don’t you ever listen to me! You don’t understand me!” (at the tender age of 3) over and over but I know in a few years that she will understand those words and mean it. It makes my heart break but for now I can laugh out if her sight about it. This is the time that they push their boundaries more and more (I.e the “no I am in charge not u, daddy, or b”). But remember that they still love us and need us at least for a few more years. Lord help us make it through!!!
Four is hard, so if five, but we are headed to six in three weeks and it is getting easier with my red-headed beauty. I hope boys are easier, becasue mineis not even three yet…
Umm…I guess this means you don’t want me to talk to you about teenagers then. Cause teenagers aren’t human enough to reason with either. In fact I think they regress back to their 3-year-old selves somewhere around the age of 12. I often say having my own teenagers makes me want to call my dad to apologize. This is what our parents meant when they said, “You just wait until you have your own kids.” The good news is we can say this same thing to our kids. Until then I suggest margaritas. And lots of them.
Happy Birthday to your girl! She’s beautiful.
I read this quote once that when kids are misbehaving is when they need to know we love them the most. I try to remember that when I’m about to lose it with my almost 4 year old.
Oh, my, Mrs. Flinger. My, my, my. My boy just turned 8, and I still feel the aftershocks of those days when he was four and he did the things your girl is doing now and I thought about the sorts of things that you are talking about her. He still does some of those things that he used to, especially taking his time in the car while I get drenched in the rain, but not so much. The trauma has faded and the memories are mostly funny now. Like the time I had to take him to work naked because, after I made the mistake of telling him we had to get the tape to the camera crew NOW, he refused to get dressed. Or those heady days of yesteryear when he refused to poop at my place, and I had to drive him across town to his mothers. Seriously. He would hold it in for DAYS, until I could see the turds protruding against his distended little belly and he was howling and crying in pain, and off we would go to his mother’s house, always at the most inconvenient times, to HER toilet and HER pull-ups. He finally told me what the deal was one day: He even told me, “Daddy, I don’t poop in apartments. I only poop in houses.” And that was that. So keep the forks out of your eyeballs, you’ll want to keep your vision clear so you can watch her grow up to be a better person than you’d ever dreamed. But be sure and make her read some of these blog entries when she has kids of her own!
My almost 3 year old throws a HystericalCryingException every night at bedtime. 6 year old throws the PoutyDidNotGetWhatIWantException quite frequently.
And they all throw the IHaveNoIdeaWhatIsWrongException a lot. This is apparently a bug in all children?
yeah…glad to know I’m not the only one . I’m right there with ya sista.
I loathe four. A four-year-old acts like a two-year-old but should know better. It is evidence of the grace from some higher power that my children both survived being four.
Stop right now, go back and read your blog from around the time she was born. Remember all of those sleepless nights? The screaming? The “what in the hell is wrong NOW!??!?!” moments? The “fall over exhausted” mornings after? Sometimes all you need is a walk down memory lane to drop to your knees and be thankful you’re past that part. Of course, parenthood is a long road of screaming/sleepless nights/pulling out your hair/exhaustion. Just be assured that you’re not alone…. *hugz*
I promise it gets easier. Three is the worst. We’re at 4 and a half with our youngest and he actually helps now. Sure he sh*t on himself tonight because his father didn’t have ESP and know to get out of the bathroom faster, but he is sort of able to follow directions—okay sometimes.
Hang in there sister. She’s a cutie pie.
Honey, I love you. I’m sorry. It’s not just hard, it’s *impossible* to do it all. But we will anyway, because we’re moms - and what the fuck else are we going to do?
Three and four are hard. Everyone talks about the terrible twos, and how they grow out of it, but they take their time getting there. I remember three wasn’t much better, and four isn’t either. The tantrums just evolve into a different style.
Take your time honey, get some rest (preferably away from the kids if you can). Things will look up in the end. I’m hanging on for when he turns 18.
I know plenty of kids that seem especially strong-willed, even when their parents are the most awesome, calm, good influencing, and good discipliners (not a word, but whatever) of all time. She tests because she can and because at 4, she’s astute enough to realize it’s frustrating for you. Mothers and daughters do that. Forever. Happy birthday to her!
Happy birthday, LB! You’re doing fine, Momma. Deep breaths…. 4.5 is better than 4 here…
Congratulations on making it through the first four years. Mine is nearly five, so you can check out my blog and get a taste of what’s ahead. I’d love to tell you the logic and resoning lightbulb turns on on day 4.1, but it doesn’t. The tantrums get louder, though. Don’t worry, the good stuff is enough to make the bad stuff livable. If not, there’s always a mommy-rita!
My heart aches because I’m kinda in the same situation with Carter and he’s three. I don’t understand WHY he doesn’t understand and how I can do better to make him understand.
Then I take a step back and realize that he’s THREE and well, I’m older and it’s taken me this long to get it… LOL
Then there’s the baby that I can’t reason with whatsoever. Makes em nuts. LOL
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