It’s not as romantic as “Betty Davis Eyes.” Instead, think old people eating food and a tad drips on the side of their mouth but they’re unaware, so they continue to eat. And drip. And never ever use a napkin.
It’s kinda like that.
I noticed last night when trying to read the contents of a spreadable cheese for “pasteurization,” I was holding the container at arm’s length. Actually, I was holding the container and moving my head around while trying to focus on the tiny tiny print. “Damn, this is tiny tiny print,” I muttered. Mr. Flinger giggles and mentions something about Presbyterian Eyes. “You men Presbyopia?” I laughed. “Whichever. It still means you’re getting old and that can’t be good.”
Er, Right. Thanks.
So let’s add bifocals to the list of things I’ll get done after my second child arrives. “Color to hide gray hair. Diet to lose baby fat. Some cream or magic pill for cellulite. Bifocals. Tummy tuck.”
I hate to think what’s going to happen when I hit forty. Perhaps I’ll have Methodist Ass or something by then.
actually, that’s the flat mormon butt syndrome—-mormon moms gets flat, wide asses…I’m wearing my mom pants today, and I want to crawl in a hole and die…
By Little Miss on 2006 11 28
Laughed my ass off at that one, don’t think it’s still a Methodist ass since I stopped going to church once I was old enough for my mom to stop forcing me to go. Actually, I like my ass- even at 24 weeks knocked up- but yeah, right there with you on the tummy tuck thing. You think they can magically make the stretch marks go away?
By Jessica on 2006 11 28
oh that? i call it blogger’s ass.
By texasbelle on 2006 11 28
I’ve started noticing that small print is getting harder to read too. Damn Presbyterians!
By JC on 2006 11 28
The Methodist Ass is not any fun. I have one, and it is gradually overtaking my body.
It could be worse, you could have Baptist Boobs.
By Mrs. CPA on 2006 11 28
LOL!!! I have the over 40 butt, though somehow my eyes are holding out for now. I know it’s common in your 40s! My hub needs bifocals in a major way!
By Marie on 2006 11 28
This isn’t funny! I’m turning 40 in a couple of months.
By Friglet on 2006 11 28
Me too Friglet!
LOL Just don’t develop Catholic Arms
By mdvelazquez on 2006 11 28
Good Lord, I am a religious mess! Catholic arms, Methodist/Mormon ass (Which I do like the Blogger’s ass term), Presbyterian eyes, and what shall I call the extra roll of “love” that has magically appeared under my chin? What about the love handles on my sides? What religion are they associated with?
Too funny Les!
By traci on 2006 11 28
Im 25 and I already am starting to go grey. Every time I go to get my hair done my stylist, who is more of a family friend then just a person who does my hair, pokes at my scalp and giggles about the “shiny babies”.
I grit my teeth and try not to bite her head off, but I dont see why its necessary for her to remind me that Im already greying.
By Sara on 2006 11 28
Oh honey, eye sight gets crappy with pregnancy. It is not your age, it is just that you are knocked up. (keep telling your self that, at least for the next few months)
By Emily on 2006 11 28
Traci: Buddhist love handles? Muslum chin?
I started going grey when I was eighteen. I now have more grey than my 65 year old mother.
By mdvelazquez on 2006 11 29
I went grey early. VERY early. When I was pregnant it just accelerated the whole process.
Being a Mom is hard on the hair.
By Tuesday on 2006 11 29
Hee hee hee. I’ve got tummy tuck and boob job on my list. ; )
By sarahgrace on 2006 11 29
Ugh…try being pg AND almost 40. I still haven’t recovered, and the baby is 18months old!! The eyes, the hair, the ass…
By Deanna (Domestic Chicky) on 2006 11 29
Well, I’m glad we can at least include ALL religions. I was mostly laughing at Mr. Flinger’s lack of the word “Presbyopia” but I’m happy to be an equal opportunity blog here.
By Mrs. Flinger on 2006 11 29
Hey, it’s better than Presbyterian Thighs!! Well, um… I think so, at least!
And Methodist ass! Whew! That was a great one!! I’m sure Bob will love you, even with that!
By tjsmommy on 2006 11 29