I have Presbyterian eyes

I have Presbyterian eyes

28/Nov/2006

#Getting to know me#Pregnancy#Weght Loss and Body Image

It’s not as romantic as “Betty Davis Eyes.” Instead, think old people eating food and a tad drips on the side of their mouth but they’re unaware, so they continue to eat. And drip. And never ever use a napkin.

It’s kinda like that.

I noticed last night when trying to read the contents of a spreadable cheese for “pasteurization,” I was holding the container at arm’s length. Actually, I was holding the container and moving my head around while trying to focus on the tiny tiny print. “Damn, this is tiny tiny print,” I muttered.  Mr. Flinger giggles and mentions something about Presbyterian Eyes. “You men Presbyopia?” I laughed. “Whichever. It still means you’re getting old and that can’t be good.”

Er, Right. Thanks.

So let’s add bifocals to the list of things I’ll get done after my second child arrives. “Color to hide gray hair. Diet to lose baby fat. Some cream or magic pill for cellulite. Bifocals. Tummy tuck.”

I hate to think what’s going to happen when I hit forty. Perhaps I’ll have Methodist Ass or something by then.

Comments

  1. actually, that’s the flat mormon butt syndrome—-mormon moms gets flat, wide asses…I’m wearing my mom pants today, and I want to crawl in a hole and die…

    By Little Miss on 2006 11 28

  2. Laughed my ass off at that one, don’t think it’s still a Methodist ass since I stopped going to church once I was old enough for my mom to stop forcing me to go.  Actually, I like my ass- even at 24 weeks knocked up- but yeah, right there with you on the tummy tuck thing.  You think they can magically make the stretch marks go away?

    By Jessica on 2006 11 28

  3. oh that? i call it blogger’s ass.

    whoops.

    smile

    By texasbelle on 2006 11 28

  4. I’ve started noticing that small print is getting harder to read too. Damn Presbyterians!

    By JC on 2006 11 28

  5. The Methodist Ass is not any fun.  I have one, and it is gradually overtaking my body. 
    It could be worse, you could have Baptist Boobs.

    By Mrs. CPA on 2006 11 28

  6. LOL!!! I have the over 40 butt, though somehow my eyes are holding out for now. I know it’s common in your 40s! My hub needs bifocals in a major way!

    By Marie on 2006 11 28

  7. This isn’t funny!  I’m turning 40 in a couple of months. wink

    By Friglet on 2006 11 28

  8. Me too Friglet!

    LOL Just don’t develop Catholic Arms wink

    By mdvelazquez on 2006 11 28

  9. Good Lord, I am a religious mess!  Catholic arms, Methodist/Mormon ass (Which I do like the Blogger’s ass term), Presbyterian eyes, and what shall I call the extra roll of “love” that has magically appeared under my chin?  What about the love handles on my sides? What religion are they associated with?

    Too funny Les!

    By traci on 2006 11 28

  10. Im 25 and I already am starting to go grey.  Every time I go to get my hair done my stylist, who is more of a family friend then just a person who does my hair, pokes at my scalp and giggles about the “shiny babies”.
    I grit my teeth and try not to bite her head off, but I dont see why its necessary for her to remind me that Im already greying.

    By Sara on 2006 11 28

  11. Oh honey, eye sight gets crappy with pregnancy. It is not your age, it is just that you are knocked up. (keep telling your self that, at least for the next few months)

    By Emily on 2006 11 28

  12. Traci:  Buddhist love handles?  Muslum chin? wink

    I started going grey when I was eighteen.  I now have more grey than my 65 year old mother.

    By mdvelazquez on 2006 11 29

  13. I went grey early.  VERY early.  When I was pregnant it just accelerated the whole process. 

    Being a Mom is hard on the hair.

    By Tuesday on 2006 11 29

  14. Hee hee hee.  I’ve got tummy tuck and boob job on my list. ; )

    By sarahgrace on 2006 11 29

  15. Ugh…try being pg AND almost 40. I still haven’t recovered, and the baby is 18months old!! The eyes, the hair, the ass…

    By Deanna (Domestic Chicky) on 2006 11 29

  16. Well, I’m glad we can at least include ALL religions. I was mostly laughing at Mr. Flinger’s lack of the word “Presbyopia” but I’m happy to be an equal opportunity blog here. wink

    By Mrs. Flinger on 2006 11 29

  17. Hey, it’s better than Presbyterian Thighs!!  Well, um… I think so, at least!

    And Methodist ass! Whew!  That was a great one!! I’m sure Bob will love you, even with that! wink

    By tjsmommy on 2006 11 29