In fact, Hallmark DOES NOT have a card for everything

19/Aug/2010

Summers of my youth were filled with sunny, sticky hot days, swimming parties, bike rides, and friends. Houston weather, relentlessly suppressing, choked your lungs with moisture. Us kids would ride around, ignoring the heat, to each other’s houses like mormons on mission. We would bike everywhere, arriving sweaty, sticky, and breathless ready to play and repeat the entire process.

This summer, as an adult, I’m able to re-live that experience. Or, at least in my own way, reminisce about it.

One of my best friends lives 3.6 miles away. I’ve always been fortunate to have friends near, but this is especially helpful when shit goes down for a dear friend. It’s nice to be able to be close, to have the option of hopping on my bike on my lunch break and literally riding to my friend’s house in 15 minutes or so, just like I did as a child.

Even if those are a hard, hilly, hot, sweaty, sticky fifteen minutes. (This is where I say, “That’s what she said.”) (And you all laugh.)

*Wobly 55 second clip of the process. minus the part where I stopped to fix my pedal or where I walked my bike up a huge-ass hill. Dudes. It’s a fucking big hill, don’t judge.

I wanted to get my friend something that says, “I’m sorry your body is an asshole and didn’t grow your baby correctly. Fucking babies. Always making their own decisions, anywho. Well, FUCK THE BABIES. Stupid fucking uterus,” but do you know how hard that is to find at Target?

PEOPLE.

There are cards for dead pets and not for dead embryos. What. The. Hell.

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I happen to know, from experience, the only thing that really helps during a miscarriage is some kleenex, chocolate, and alcohol. And maybe a lovely smutty magazine or two.

So that’s what I got. The miscarriage basket.

I made my own card, though, because Hallmark is well behind the times of “Kick Mother Nature in the crotch and spit on the ground” cards. Seriously, there’s a market for this.

Perhaps I’ll start one.

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Hi

19 guests here now.

Comments

  1. You are an awesome friend! I think your card says it best. (BTDT sucks so hard)

    By monstergirlee on 2010 08 19

  2. You’re a good friend, Flinger

    By Suebob on 2010 08 19

  3. You are a fantastic friend.

    By Heather on 2010 08 19

  4. Brilliant. Love. Dig the new look, too. Of course IDK how new it is b/c I hardly read any blogs while I was away. But. The blog, it looks awesome.

    By Al_Pal on 2010 08 19

  5. Fucking brilliant. You are awesome.

    By Derek on 2010 08 19

  6. We would all be so lucky to have a friend like you!!!

    By Shannon on 2010 08 19

  7. Loter needs to link up to the pads I sent her after her 2nd mc.

    By dawn on 2010 08 19

  8. You are an awesome friend! And Hallmark? They need to get their shit together.

    By Christine on 2010 08 19

  9. Best basket ever. You are awesome.

    By Pgoodness on 2010 08 19

  10. Wow! You are an awesome friend! Everyone should have their own Mrs. Flinger!

    By Sandi on 2010 08 19

  11. Great idea!  Hallmark can suck it.  Nice work on the card’s envelope.

    By Wendy on 2010 08 19

  12. Bless you, friend. smile

    This is wonderful.

    Steph

    By AdventuresInBabywearing on 2010 08 19

  13. I love you so hard that I Live You.

    xoxoxoxoxo

    Thank you so, so much.

    By VDog on 2010 08 19

  14. Okay Warrior and I are DYING laughing at your video. DYING. Luff.

    By VDog on 2010 08 19

  15. You are an amazing friend.

    By mommabird2345 on 2010 08 19

  16. Awesome. No other words.  Just awe.

    By Shab on 2010 08 19

  17. luff this. also, what is the music on the video? i think i need it.

    By tara on 2010 08 19

  18. Totally awesome all around. And I’m glad to see you wear a helmet on your bike! Even if you have to walk it sometimes.

    By Jennifer on 2010 08 19

  19. You are an awesome friend. Hallmark has failed me in all my recent card needs.

    By Clair on 2010 08 19

  20. You know, there are some occasions where the words of some random person in some random office whose job it is to ‘create sentiment’ just aren’t appropriate anyway.  A miscarriage is not a time for someone else’s idea of how to sympathize.  YOU have the words.  YOU have the experience.  YOU are a superhero, a rock, and a shoulder to cry on.

    And I love that you described tabloids as smut.  Reason #18452 that Flinger is adored by millions (even if I need to split my personality once or twice to add the “s”.  grin

    By CitricSugar on 2010 08 19