I’ve been trying to tell you I love you

21/Dec/2010

I recently posted a photo. The title was, “Such a thin, small window separates us. Literally and Figuratively.” I watched the homeless man wander on the sidewalk as I sipped a latte. I looked for him later to give him a few dollars but he had already left by the time I stepped out to find him.

homeless

It is in this spirit that several amazing people have entered our lives recently.

It’s been a rough year. It’s been a tough month. It’s been a really hard few weeks.

We’ve been discussing our life a lot lately. We both feel that the culmination of events of the past six years have brought us to this point. There’s a boiling point we’ve reached, a cliff, the end-of-a-sidewalk, if you will.

It’s a bit like it’s now or never. Change or fail.

The robbery was the last straw for us. At each turn we told each other things were looking up, we were going to be ok, everything was going to be fine. Every time we felt optimistic, life crashed on us. Hard.

The past week has been one of heart break. The finances, the insurance bills, the medical bills, changing locks and accounts and credit cards. But there’s more to being robbed than the actual act itself and the corresponding physical consequences. It brings on an entire line of questioning about humanity. Why do we try to be optimistic? What kind of person steals from others? From children? Before Christmas?

At this precipice we lingered. We teetered on hope, rocked on doubt. Our tiny community we love so much, the people we’ve gathered close both physically and emotionally, the schools we hand picked for our children: Each of these came in to question. Did we really settle in the best home possible? Would these be the type of teens our kids could interact with?

And then the unimaginable happens. You happen.

Sizzle offers us a Wii. “I have one to give away and it needs to go to you and your children.” She glows in an adorable knit hat the day we meet. She hugs the best type of “I’ve known you forever” hug. She smiles as waves away my thank yous.

Others come up and gift our holidays. Amanda,  gifts us Amazon. (Yes, ALL OF AMAZON. Chick’s got connections.)

Friends gather together, scheming, planning. Secretly they raise money without us even knowing.

And, on her very birthday party, intended to celebrate her life, my own best friend gifts to ME something amazing.

More than money, she gifts love, surprise, and joy.

And she videos the whole thing.** (new! Now Rated Oma Approved: Less Cussing)


This Christmas is one I will never forget. Not because of the robbery or the water heater or the stitches or the condo foreclosing. I will remember it because you loved us. From way out there, beyond the physical, you loved us.

Thank you for restoring humanity for me. For reminding me there is love and joy.

Especially at Christmas.

Tearfully,
Mrs. Flinger
xoxo

 

Hi

18 guests here now.

Comments

  1. To the spirit in us all, friend.

    By Amanda on 2010 12 21

  2. You deserve every bit of this.  XOXO!

    By Stacey on 2010 12 21

  3. (whispering) Maybe a few little subtitles, I mean the fucks came through just fine, but uh…

    By amanda on 2010 12 21

  4. HAHAHA. Amanda. smile It’s mostly the “WOW, OMG, WOW I LOVE YOU THANK YOU”

    And thank you, baby. THANK YOU. Complete with lots of fucks and tears.

    By Mrs. Flinger on 2010 12 21

  5. It was the least any of us could do. You see someone hurting, you help. Because the world is mostly full of good and we are not alone, even when we feel like it the most.

    If bad things have to happen to remind us of our humanity and our connectedness, then I suppose that’s the good in them. Right?

    I hope you and your family have a very merry Christmas.

    xo

    By sizzle on 2010 12 21

  6. Tissue please! It is amazing and so wonderful to have this kind of support.  Leslie: as mentioned when I was there a few weeks ago, you do drop the F*Bomb a bit much don’t you think? Just asking.

    By Oma Flinger on 2010 12 21

  7. Life tries to destroy everyone, regardless of economic/social status, right?  I’m so glad you posted this; we all need to remember that humanity isn’t all bad when the bad things seem SO big.  And it’s those friends that remind us that we can muster the strength to get through it!  May 2011 look upon you with favor!

    By wendy on 2010 12 21

  8. OMFG. I have been lousy about keeping up with the internets and had no idea you were robbed. OMG. <3 <3 <3

    By Annika on 2010 12 21

  9. You deserve every goodness life brings you right now. You are loved.

    By Nancy on 2010 12 21

  10. YOU put goodness out there my friend, it only makes sense that it finds YOU when you need it smile

    By Ashley on 2010 12 21

  11. Awww…so nice to see the world still has some good in it!

    By Colleen - Mommy Always Wins on 2010 12 21

  12. Aww, that’s awesome. And here’s hoping that 2011 is *way* better for you guys than 2010, because lord knows you’ve earned it!

    By cindy w on 2010 12 21

  13. The internets…we love us some Mrs. Flinger!  So glad we could help!

    Hope 2011 is better.

    By AmazingGreis on 2010 12 21

  14. Wishing you a wonderful holiday and a new year that will let you put 2010 behind you and start fresh.

    By Average Jane on 2010 12 22

  15. Beautiful AND amazing, just like you.  Thanks for the warm fuzzy feeling and Happy Holidays, my friend!!!

    By Liz @thisfullhouse on 2010 12 23

  16. You don’t know the extent of my bad year, because I haven’t been able to talk about it - but I am with you. ADIOS 2010.

    Here’s you you, my friend, and better days ahead.

    P.S. I cried at the video too.

    By Aimee Giese | Greeblemonkey on 2010 12 23

  17. I hope you’re all able to have the merriest of Christmases.  You deserve something really good and I sincerely hope this is the start to that.  Much love to the whole Flinger family.  xoxoxo

    By Overflowing Brain (Katie) on 2010 12 23

  18. Aw crap, I’m totally crying right now.  Thanks for posting that video.  I’ve seen a few things in the last few weeks that have reminded me that people are so good.  That there is a LOT of love.  And it’s made my year.

    By Rachael on 2010 12 28