Laughing until I fart

May 06, 2008

#Life#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz

I just got my first, er, fifty-first piece of hatemail.

The IP of writes,

“Dear Mrs. Fliger. I’ve known you wanted to be just like Dooce for years but you couldn’t hide it any better? Your web designs suck and your coding is awful and now your stealing ideas from Dooce’s website. Pathetic. Get your own fonts.”

Hang on… Hang on…


Sorry, I’m laughing… so.. incredibly.. hard.. right… now..

I fart when I laugh. Didn’t you know that? My closest friends know that. I figured I’ve told The Internet that at some point or other.

Or maybe I should show you video evidence?

So thank you,, for reminding me to not work so much on those sucky designs that I don’t take the time to share ass-gas with The Internet.

Thank you.

P.S. Your is possessive. You’re is a contraction of YOU and ARE. Please take notes.

P.P.S. I’m Mrs. FLINGER. With an “L”. Please reference the font I’ve “stolen” from Dooce on my header for my name.

P.P.P.S I’m honored you’ve read for years even though you hate me. Please feel free to refresh this page and send it to all your hating Flinger friends. I hope you have a secret Flinger-Hate club. I’ve always wanted to have a club. Refresh Refresh Refresh.

P.P.P.P.S. The video is from our garage sale on Saturday when NOBODY showed up. We started pranking our friend who couldn’t be there (we sent her away, actually because it was so slow) and telling her people were making deals. There are four videos. Each one is funnier than the one before. I will post more if you ask nice and pee in the potty and stop wetting the bed. Also, the part where I fall down on the ground? That’s just after I fart. It’s true.


  1. LOL!  I had a troll today too.  Oh lucky day, yes?

    By Darla on 2008 05 06

  2. OMG. I think this ass was emailing me earlier.

    By Loralee on 2008 05 06

  3. It’s a basic free font on most computers. I guess the whole world is a thief, doh! Some people are sycophantic illiterates and total dipshits regarding design.

    By Dana on 2008 05 06

  4. Okay darling! First let me send a huge FUCK OFF to your troll!

    Secondly, I now know that I have a really good reason to take advantage of United’s way discount airfares from Hartford to Seattle. Ya’ll have too much fun not to share!

    By themommykelly on 2008 05 06

  5. Yeah, you and your FONT all Dooce-like and stuff. Doncha know Dooce OWNS that font? She also owns the colors blue, grey and green! So back off!

    By Suebob on 2008 05 06

  6. I don’t read Dooce.  But I read Flinger.

    Party on, Flinger, Queen of Font Stealing!

    By Sonia on 2008 05 06

  7. You evil, evil woman.  “Stealing” fonts from the poor, pitiful, defenseless Dooce?  What is this world coming to?

    By AMomTwoBoys on 2008 05 06

  8. OMG, please come when we have our community garage sale in a couple of weeks and ask all of the neighbors ridiculous questions about their crap. Then tell all your friends to buy our crap that is super cheap so I can come to BlogHer with you and laugh/fart with you!!

    By Faith on 2008 05 06

  9. Get your own FONTS? Yikes, that’s really scraping the bottom of the insult barrell. Next they’ll tell you that you must provide your content via gopher (that’s a geek test smile because Dooce uses http…

    By Erika Jurney on 2008 05 06

  10. Oh, you thief. Dooce uses the word fart all the time. She’s also known to use nouns, verbs, the occasional pronoun, and throws around a bunch of adjectives all the time. Please refrain from doing the same lest you force me to report you to the interwebs police. k, thanks.

    By les on 2008 05 06

  11. I cannot stop laughing.  And farting.

    Your fault.

    You’re fault?

    No.  Your fault.

    By Jenny, Bloggess on 2008 05 06

  12. Seriously if this is who he is talking about then I don’t know what he is talking about. http://www.dooce.com/ Because your sites look NOTHING alike. lol

    By Dianna on 2008 05 06

  13. PSYCHO.

    I got my first troll in a long time last week. It is funny how pathetic and little their lives must be to take the time to hate on internet bloggers.

    By Ali on 2008 05 06

  14. Are you out there stealing free fonts again?  And here I thought I was the only thief, taking those free samples at the grocery store, sometimes circling my way back around for more so I don’t have to cook my kid dinner.  I know you went with someone like Dooce because she only has like 2 readers so what are the chances someone would notice.  I personally only read Dooce for her subtle silver border so next time you might want to go with something like that if you want to steal her readers. 

    Ah to hell with ‘em, I still love you Mrs. Fliger.

    By Mama C-ta on 2008 05 06

  15. I don’t understand what possesses people to take time out of their days to email a complete stranger and tell them they don’t like them.  Why waste time reading blogs you don’t like?  Are these the same people who walk up to strangers in the grocery store and tell them they’re horrible parents for buying their kids the candy bar at checkout?  That’s never happened to me, but I did get some looks from the woman behind us because I let my kid have a jerky stick while I bought 3 candy bars for myself (they were 3 for $0.99! I couldn’t resist) and my husband stocked up on Skittles.

    By BrandiB on 2008 05 06

  16. Not that you need my approval, but I’m having serious template envy.

    By Honeybell on 2008 05 06

  17. Seriously?
    The comments on this are almost as good as the post.
    Wow, that’s just… tragic.  How dare you steal a free font, use colors, ideas, words and imagery.  you’re a bad bad woman.

    By rachel on 2008 05 06

  18. I’m not popular enough to get hate mail. And I know absolutely zero about web design. Oh, and I hate garage sales. But lest you think this is more hate mail, I HAVE been known to fart a time or two. Does that mean I stole the idea to pass gas from you?

    By MGM on 2008 05 06

  19. I don’t need to laugh to fart. All I have to do is breath and it happens.  Looks like you had fun at the garage sale despite no shoppers.

    By melanie on 2008 05 06

  20. I watched this with my son and explained to him that a troll was a person who likes to write mean things because they are weird.  His response, “So, the lady on the phone tooted on the troll?  That is funny.”

    I agree!

    By jessicaAPISS on 2008 05 06