Like High School Track: Complete with god-awful shorts and chafing

Jul 30, 2008

#Life#Working Mom

Is it possible to be so far behind in your work that you get lapped by yourself? Like in High School when that skinny bitch would fly by you on lap 5 and there were still 17 to go. (Did I ever mention I was on some drug-induced psychosis that made me run the 10K on a track? That’s 22 and a half laps in a circle. “Hamster on a wheel” comes to mind or maybe even Smashing Pumpkins “Bullet with Butterfly Wings: Rat in a cage” is more befitting.) I’m not sure who the skinny bitch in this analogy is but she just lapped me with her laptop and completed todo list and a fistful of happy clients.

Me? I’m more like a whale.

A Fail Whale in fact.



  1. Well, hon, if you’re a whale, then I’m a fucking Brontosaurus.

    By buffi on 2008 07 30

  2. A Fail Whale- LMAO!  That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day.

    By Catherine on 2008 07 30

  3. My inbox has 54 messages in it (those are waiting to to-do, items that haven’t been transferred to my task to-do list yet) and I HATED THAT BITCH in gym. But I only ran the 1 mile, which means I usually only got lapped a couples times by her. Sigh. Good luck, lady, keep up the coffee. wink

    By syd on 2008 07 30

  4. I once ran a 10K entirely on the beach.  In the sand.  It’s like running in glue.  Only sandier.

    Love the fail whale.  I want that on a t-shirt.

    By Overflowing Brain on 2008 07 30

  5. i’m a total fail whale too.

    By ali on 2008 07 30

  6. I feel your pain.  Literally!

    By Karen Sugarpants on 2008 07 30

  7. Sorry your so overloaded!

    If it’s any consolation, I think you’re a pretty fail whale.

    By sam on 2008 07 30

  8. You and me both, sistah!

    By Angella on 2008 07 30

  9. I feel like you’re speaking RIGHT TO ME.

    By Domestic Spaz on 2008 07 30

  10. Take a breath and ignore that skinny bitch. She is fat, divorced and has 15 kids from different daddies now. She’s not as cool as she thinks she is anymore. You’re prettier, and smarter, and um you have a whole bunch of mommy bloggers who will come kick her butt if she messes with you.

    By Mrs. Tantrum on 2008 07 30

  11. I really don’t know how you do it all. Am in awe.

    By All Adither on 2008 07 30

  12. I was like THE slowest runner in high school.  Effers voted me “most inspirational,” as in “Wow, she just keeps showing up.”

    So keep on showing up and… you’ll get a sarcastic award, ok?


    By J on 2008 07 30

  13. I hope that it gets better. But you must cut yourself some slack. We can only be one person and do one thing at a time. Try doing this with your list. Pick ONE thing each day and do JUST that. Then take a cookie break. Maybe some Oreos and milk?

    By Vicki on 2008 07 31

  14. Sometimes I feel like a whale out of water too.  Hang in there.

    By MariaV on 2008 08 01

  15. Hang in there!  Can’t wait to see you on the other end of things!

    By Carrie on 2008 08 01

  16. I’m with Overflowing Brain.  I want a fail whale t-shirt.  Twitter could make some $$!

    By buffi on 2008 08 02

  17. If we ever figure out who that skinny bitch is, you’re gonna have to get in line behind me to kick her ass.

    I’ve still got “to dos” left on my list from 1997, and a lot of pent up rage about that.

    By bejewell on 2008 08 03