Like Miss Spider’s New Car. Or, Why I Am Always Right

Aug 16, 2010


We moved in to this house five months ago. Six? Five. No, Four and a half, wait…

Like I said, we moved in to this house a few months ago. The oven? Does not work. I think it turned on once, sputtered, threw out some smoke and never turned on again. I can’t tell you how thrilled I was when this happened. No, actually, I was a little tiny bit glad. We, thankfully, have a home warranty purchased by a fabulous real-estate gal here in town, so I knew at least we’d have some sort of compensation, chance at recovery.

Did I mention that was six months ago? Or a year? Ten? I forget. Feels like a long time now.

This weekend we went to finalize some Oven Shopping. There is nothing more “home-owner” than going OVEN SHOPPING. I don’t even care that much, people. I don’t care, except that once I started looking in to ovens do you know that I DO CARE? There are BTUs! And number-of-burners! And convection! And Stainless vs Shiny Black! And and and…

I found one at Home Depot that wasn’t too fancy, not too plain, and looked exactly practical enough that I loved it. It had a SIMMER spot in addition to the four burners. SIMMER. Dudes? I can simmer. That, I can do.

So I decided that was it. IT! Just like that I made a choice and VIOLA.

Except we had to go shopping because nevereverever settle on your first choice, so I’ve been told.

Five stores, six hundred and twenty ovens later, we went back to home depot to get the oven I picked out originally. The one I just knew was it.

I’m telling you, there’s an analogy in here somewhere.

Or a children’s book

Here she is: The newest member of the family. Ain’t she a bute.

God, really, now is the time to tell me: “THIS IS AN OVEN OHEMGEE. Get a puppy, we’ll care.”


  1. Puppies are not very good at cooking food though….strange, but true! wink

    By Matt Robin on 2010 08 16

  2. I love, love, LOVE that you said “VIOLA” instead of “VOILA.”  LOVE.  Extra points if you did it on purpose.

    By Bejewell on 2010 08 16

  3. That is one purty oven you got there, Missus.

    By cindy w on 2010 08 16

  4. You mean “Ain’t she a BTU?”
    And yes, yes she is smile

    By Ashley on 2010 08 16

  5. totally jealous, in both houses we moved in and the oven worked just stinking fine…. same thing for the fridge, SOMEDAY I will get to pick out my own appliances!

    By melanie on 2010 08 16

  6. She is purdy.  Better invest in some stainless steal cleaner- QUICK!  All I see are fingerprints.  But who am I to be a debbie downer….you can simmer, I can’t…I am just jealous….

    By Michelle M on 2010 08 16

  7. this is the exact oven I have at work (cook at a daycare) and I love it!  It’s easy to clean and works great!

    By Brenda on 2010 08 16

  8. *shiny*

    I like ovens.

    By Sarah on 2010 08 16

  9. I have a puppy.  And I am L-O-V-I-N’ your new oven!

    By wendy on 2010 08 16

  10. EHMEHGAH!  It’s absolutely stunning.

    Unless it comes with a bun inside.  That is not allowed until after my visit; the pickling of our livers.

    By J?rgen Nation on 2010 08 16

  11. Ooh, it *is* pretty!  I have a low/simmer burner, and love, love, love it.  When I manage to break this one from canning (imagine the giant Amish 15-quart-capacity canner on top of a flat ceramic top stove), I’m hoping to get a gas one that looks similar to yours (except for the burner knobs, my kids are… curious).  :D

    By Lanna on 2010 08 17

  12. thanks for sharing.keep it.

    By links jewellery on 2010 08 18

  13. Nice post.
    Thanks for sharing this interesting post.
    Keep sharing any more.

    By Health tips on 2010 08 19

  14. Nice oven. I tend to go with my first choice, including my last home. After i looked at about 40, what an effing waster of time. Anyhoo…

    By Brahm (alfred lives here) on 2010 08 20

  15. Screw puppies.  I like ovens.  Swoon.

    By allyson on 2010 08 20