People are strange, the Internet is stranger

Jan 21, 2007


I recently let my blog back on google after a three year lock down from all things search-able.

Holy effing hell, y’all.

It’s been two days and already I see why the Internet is a scary scary place. I see why I won’t let my daughter cross the street without looking both ways and why I will NEVER EVER give her permission to do a google search for something as innocent as “how to insert my tampon” should she ever feel the need. Do what any self-respecting seventh grader would do in the days before google, go to a friends house and ask HER.  Like we did back in the 80’s.

I’m struggling a little bit with my decision to open up the site because I thought perhaps the world of wide webs would prefer not to hear about butt dimples and pregnant sex (oh, joy, the searches I see coming in for that one). But I want to know, do you allow google to sift through your archives like the tattle-tail he is? Or so you prefer to keep up a robots.txt file so it’s mostly hand-off?

Because after two whole days of keyword analysis, I’m starting to have my doubts.


  1. I, for one, do not like getting search engine hits on my blog, hence the password. It’s not worth it to me to get the extra traffic, frankly.  Maybe they can still find my blog via some disgusting keyword search (because I haven’t altered my robots file), but they can’t get in. TOBH2 is still open, though I haven’t analyzed any stats lately to see what depravity people are finding me with. I’m sure I’ll lock it up at some point too…

    By Erin on 2007 01 21

  2. Yea, I’m already thinking I might put it back up.

    Because Ew.

    By Mrs. Flinger on 2007 01 21

  3. I’m pretty lame at my place, so the worst thing I get is “eye sty”.  I know.  Horrible. 

    I wouldn’t be comfortable seeing all the psycho searchterms, and I would probably restrict it again.  That is kinda hauntingly creepy.  raspberry

    By Leanne on 2007 01 21

  4. I opened back up to google when I told my mom about my blog.

    as for the search terms, meh - it doesn’t really bother me.  They aren’t finding what they want at my site anyhow.  And, um, I don’t usually check my stats that much anyhow.

    Maybe I’d worry more if I paid more attention to it!

    By rachel on 2007 01 21

  5. WAY creepy…

    By AmyM on 2007 01 21

  6. Ewwwww.  I’d say lock it back up.  A bit off-putting to new readers, but I’ve gotta say, even being there, waiting to get into the club, eh.  There’s worse things in life.

    By Lanna on 2007 01 21

  7. Oh I would SO lock it back up.  GAH.  The extra dozen or so hits?  Really. Not. Worth it.

    I {heart} robots.txt.  Totally, completely {heart} it.

    By Seuss on 2007 01 21

  8. People are sick. What can I say. And how do I check that info?

    By kelli on 2007 01 21

  9. I’m too lazy to lock up or change robot files (I don’t even know what the hell that is lol).

    By Sarah on 2007 01 21

  10. Rachel, that’s the thing. My mom knows about the site and I figured, “eh.” Plus if I write about post partum depression, I think it would be nice for other’s going through a similar experience to have the “Hey! She’s crazy, too!”

    Mr Flinger, oh so helpfully, said, “Oh, those pervs already have their pants at their ankles, they’re not going to surf through a mommy blog.”

    Like that helps. oy.

    By Mrs. Flinger on 2007 01 21

  11. I was just surprised at how many hits you have for Lesbians! The internet it self is creepy - blogs, flickr, anything. Like I have that picture of B tied up on Flickr - WAY to many hits for my liking (that one went to family/friends only!). Ewww…..

    By Nicole on 2007 01 21

  12. I have lots of photographs on my blog. The two most popular google searches are for a pic of my feet and a landscape shot through the branches of a tree that I titled “voyeur.”  I am so not surprised at the titillation level of your visitors’ search terms.

    By Sallyacious on 2007 01 21

  13. Also, and this just makes me laugh, I googled my own blog title and discovered that among the many places you can find it, one is on a site that acts as an index for various pron searches. Because I had a series of collages titled “Sonnet XXX.” Not because of sexual content, but because the pieces dealt with Shakespeare’s Sonnet 30. Aaaah. Roman numerals. 

    And you’re husband’s got a really good point. My skank-searchers don’t usually stick around once they realize the site isn’t what they’re after. I wouldn’t worry about them.

    By Sallyacious on 2007 01 21

  14. I agree that most of those are nasty and creepy but I do think you should think of that poor person trying to figure out how to re-grow her overplucked brows…



    By Becky on 2007 01 21

  15. I am blocked in every possible way!  When I see what people were searching for before they get to me, it creeps me out!

    By Friglet on 2007 01 21

  16. i should have locked mine down a long time ago b/c i made the idiotic mistake of having my real name in there.

    now tho?  i don’t care really.  as long as weirdo stalkers don’t try and come to my house or anything.

    i took my name out and it’s finally cleared through google and doesn’t come up anymore pointing to my blog.

    By piglet on 2007 01 21

  17. Put the robots.txt back up!  That is just nas-tay!

    By Charla on 2007 01 21

  18. Everything you put up about being able to block search engines, to me, well…it just sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher.
    Because, I so very very dumb about computer anything.
    Thankfully, I already get very few totally pornish searches and they leave in a hurry, horribly disappointed I’m sure.

    By Sonia on 2007 01 21

  19. I went immediately and checked out what people had been searching for and sent to mine…there are some sick people out there who I feel sure were bitterly dissappointed when they checked me out! I keep it open because I have NO idea how to block it.

    By Helen on 2007 01 22

  20. Um, yeah, I’ve gotten a few gross ones- like “bloody tummy” because I had written about my little one’s aversion to tummy time as if I were British.  I don’t know how to turn off the google search capability…
    Oh, and now I checked and see I got one for “naked women food” and “feeling fetal movement in dogs”.  Ugh! and Alrighty then.

    By Jessica on 2007 01 22