Potty Mouth

Oct 12, 2008

#Life#Things Kids Say

My daughter talks. She talks. And talks. And talks. A few days ago we challenged her to be quiet for five minutes. “Just FIVE minutes. I’ll buy you a pony!” the mister bribed.

She failed at 2 minutes 5 seconds.

She talks through everything: coloring, playing with her mice. (Oh, yes! she has invisible mice! You know? Like Cinderella? Or the crazy cat lady in the psych ward?) She talks about her friends. She talks so much she even narrates her poop.

The other day I was standing there waiting for my daughter to pinch off a tootsie roll listening to her talk. “Oh, my poop hurts, Mom. It makes my bottom HUURRRRTTTTT OWE OWE OWE.” (I use this time to talk about Fiber, the importance of eating your veggies at dinner and fruit for snacks instead of crackers. Oh, that’s right, there is no sacred moment I will not use for my own mothering.) She continues, “Sometimes I pee when I poop. Sometimes I just poop. Today I’m just going to poop.”

I glance around the empty bathroom and check my watch.

“Are you done now, sweetie?” I ask.

“No. I have this much more” she holds up her hands showing me a little space. “Like my mice are this big? I have that much more poop in my tummy.”


“Sometimes my mice go poop in the big toilet. Sometimes they go in the little toilet.”


“Sometimes when I poop a big one, it splashes my bottom with the water.”

That one caught my attention.

Kids: So honest.

So right.



  1. is it bad that this post annoyed me b/c i kept thinking about how much my daughter talks…on and on and on. she is saying something right this minute.

    By feener on 2008 10 12

  2. Me too, LB, me TOOOOO!

    By laura on 2008 10 12

  3. You’ve got to admire a girl that likes to keep it real! smile

    By Friglet on 2008 10 12

  4. I think she and Bethany were separated at birth!  B talks and talks and talks and talks - even to HERSELF in bed!  What really gets me is the QUESTIONS… the NON-STOP, REPETITIVE, MIND NUMBING QUESTIONS!  “Are we going to the store Mommy?”  “Are we going in your car?”  “Is this your car Mommy?”  “Is this the store?”  “Are we going in the store?”  “Why are we going to the store?”  “Are we inside the store now?”  “Are we buying groceries?”  “Are we in this aisle with bread?” “Is this the cart I’m in?”  “Is this our cart?”  “Why are you buying all this stuff?” And on, and on, and on… my head *EXPLODES*!

    By Katie Kat on 2008 10 13

  5. I love the new theme but I love the picture of your daughter more!

    By Lisa on 2008 10 13

  6. Ahahaha! I love it. That picture is too cute for words, and really? Your daughter? A talker? Say it isn’t so… wink Maybe she got your blog bug and is now verbalizing it!

    By Karina on 2008 10 13

  7. LOL  She’s just being honest.

    By MariaV on 2008 10 13

  8. Ah, I love it! I can’t even IMAGINE where she got it. smile

    By Paige on 2008 10 13

  9. Holy Cow, that’s hysterical!  I will be so glad when my “3.75 year old kid that’s not potty trained” learns to use the potty.  I resorted to candy.  I bought him some today (he picked it out)and put it on top of the fridge (where the superman underwear I bought 6 months ago reside - waiting on him to learn to use the potty - supposedly taunting him to learn) with a bowl, one piece of candy for each trip to the potty and he can have it after dinner tonight…..thus far today…nothing, one poopy diaper and no candy in the bowl

    By Jerri Ann on 2008 10 13

  10. I love the picture.  She looks like she should be headed to Mardi Gras.

    If you ever get that 5 minutes of peace, please share the secret.

    By Laura on 2008 10 13

  11. My Chicken talks and talks.  We have what we call “Sponsored Silence” here at our house.  She is almost 11, she has talked non stop since age 3….we’ve only paid out once.

    By Domestic Extraordinaire on 2008 10 13

  12. When you can’t handle the talking anymore…you just send her down here! Hope can totally take all the talking lol. Hope will gladly take her, I mean us. smile

    By sister flinger on 2008 10 14

  13. And here I thought my daughter was the only one that ever gave play-by-play descriptions of her poop.

    I guess I owe her an apology.

    By JayMonster on 2008 10 14

  14. There can never be too much poop talk, right?!

    By Renee on 2008 10 16