Quite Frankly, I’m sick of it

26/Jul/2008

Popularity. Fame. Money. Drama.

I think Mom101 said it best, “We don’t have to be ashamed about what we do or why we do it. Whether we blog for money or friendship or approval or attention or magical beans. I said it in the first Momosphere panel and I meant it: It’s all good.”

The hate blogs, the jealousy, the gossip; It’s a bi-product of mixing fame, money and popularity in a tiny tiny space called Your Computer. We’re exposed. We’re sharing. We’re being “honest” except we’re not.

I can not tell you how much it means to me to know that really great writers with great sites know who I am and are just as amazing in person as in their blogs. But this does not bring me fame. It does not bring me money. It does not bring me popularity.

It brings me community.

You choose to either participate in the community or not. You decide what and how much you give to your peers. You are the one who can either introduce yourself or sit and watch. Either way, it’s your choice. And they are both ok.

I’m not overly confident in who I am. I still squee (loudly) when Joelle of Moxie Design Studios says HI or sends a client our direction. I was flattered beyond flattery when Angela gave me a CD and when Amy and Tracey and Dana included me in their link list.  Don’t get me wrong. I still love that these people I read and admire also read and link back to me.

It’s a warm fuzzy that even my nightly

glass

bottle of wine can’t re-produce.

But if you feel that I am popular or self-righteous, you’ve clearly never met me in person. Or read me for that matter. I’m far from being an “A” list blogger. I’m a mom who barely holds her shit together, who tries to write every so often and works even more often. I value friendships, real ones, over my blog and would toss this site in a heartbeat if it got in the way of my real relationships. My real life.

Which is something I’m struggling with.

The best and most wonderful thing I’ve found through this blog are my close friends Michelle and Laura and the site we launched together. My career took a fantastic turn when I met Karen through this post and then joined Swank Web Style and found Shaz and Emily and we decided to start a new commercial design business Catapult Web Development because Sydney helped inspire this move and Susan Getgood and other clients encouraged it. When I found out my my new great Seattle Playdate Friend also worked in the web programming / tech field I was in heaven and we talked nerdy to each other.

From there, the real world got better and better.

I blog for a variety of reasons but it will be changing soon. There is a New Big Thing in the works and The Real World is involved. It’s exciting, what has come of being in this community, and it’s inspirational. But it is not exclusive or ellusive or any other “ive”. It’s what you make of it.

Just like real life.

Hi

9 guests here now.

Comments

  1. Amen. I can’t WAIT to see what the next big thing is.

    I blogged about the fame thing this very morning.

    By Suebob on 2008 07 26

  2. So awesome!  I’m drafting a similarish post right now, but you’ve done such a lovely job of it, maybe I don’t need to… If anything, I am linking to this post.  Because?  Brilliant.

    By andi on 2008 07 26

  3. I’d totally vote for magical beans.

    I met you briefly during a very surreal visit to the Gold Dust Lounge near the hotel and had a perfectly lovely conversation but I was so overwhelmed at the time that I don’t really remember what was said. I did, however, find you totally unselfrighteous. That part I remember. wink

    By laurie on 2008 07 26

  4. I’m just glad to have met so many awesome wimmins. And to be able to count them as friends - even more awesome.

    xo

    By Dana on 2008 07 26

  5. You forgot to mention the value of licking each other’s cheeks.  The ability, perhaps more so, the willingness to lick each others cheeks is the greatest part of our community, don’t you think?

    By Mr Lady on 2008 07 26

  6. It’s funny how complicated the blog world has become now that there is money (for some) involved.  My cousin is Maggie from Mighty Girl and I have been so proud of what she’s been able to accomplish.

    Me, on the other hand, I’m far from an A list blogger but I’ve really enjoyed the relationships I’ve developed over the years. That has been rewarding in itself.

    Having said that, I’m actually going to redesign my blog to allow for advertising for the first time.  Don’t hate me, okay?

    (Oh, and just an observation but I find it interesting that the women in the blog world tend to beat each other up. I haven’t seen that in the Daddy Blogging community.)

    By Matthew on 2008 07 26

  7. I can honestly say you are my mostest favoritest person I’ve ever met online, and I’ve met a lot of amazing people (esp women) over the last few years.  You are special and sweet and heartfelt beyond words and I’m proud to call you my friend.  This post is so bang on, as are many of yours.  You’re very talented and insightful, both as a designer and a member of this community that all of us have built together.  You ought to be very secure in knowing all of that.  Much love, sugarpants.

    By Karen Sugarpants on 2008 07 26

  8. A handful of people called me “popular” after seeing me at BlogHer.  Yeah.  Right.  What they were seeing was “busy.”  Busy because everyone always wants something and that absolutely does not mean that they like you.  They just know that you’ll do it for them.

    I made $20 from my blog last month.  What does that tell you?  I make $0 from Blog Nosh Magazine.  Neither of them make me popular or famous or anything other than busy.

    But wait.  That’s not true…

    They make me happy.

    Not because of the money.  Not because of the popularity.  They make me happy because of the people that take the time to read me and talk to me and talk *with* me.

    Screw every single person that doesn’t believe me when I say that I do it for the joy it brings.  I do it because I’m a joyful girl.

    And I also do it so that you’ll put me in your “people I read” because I just saw that you finally did!  And you know what that will bring me?  Nothing.  Maybe one out-click?  Probably not.

    But it makes me happy.  Because I like you.  And when I met you, I didn’t squirrel you away into a corner because I felt like, “Yep, I like her just as much as I thought I would.  Check.  Now who else do I want to hug here?”

    BlogHer was just one big confirmation that I feckin’ love you people.  Something changed along the way in Internet land and all of these strangers went from being possibly-geeky-RPG chicks to being real friends.

    And if they are, in fact, absolutely-geeky-RPG chicks?  Then I learned that judging people for having alter-egos that are fairies or vampires is wrong.  So wrong.

    Mrs. Flinger, I’m afraid I accidentally drank some crazy juice for lunch.  Sorry for this long comment.  I should feed my comments into my blog as posts and then it would look like I actually blog sometimes.

    By Velveteen Mind - Megan on 2008 07 26

  9. I completely agree that blogging is what you make of it.  I’m still trying to figure out what I make of it, though.  But, like Megan, I was ecstatic to see my mug in your “People I Read” collage because I heart you, Mrs. Flinger.

    By rimarama on 2008 07 26

  10. You answered her question perfectly.

    I WUV YOUR GUTS, WOMAN!

    By Loralee on 2008 07 26

  11. I loved this, Leslie.  Further proof that you are awesome.  And completely lickable.

    By Angella on 2008 07 26

  12. Community; that is the word that gave me chills.  I think that it is great you are meeting real world folks to open up doors, especially if it means being able to do something you enjoy.

    By Blogversary on 2008 07 26

  13. i don’t know what the current drama is (thank god), but i DO know you are supermegaawesome.

    people who can think for themselves, stand on their own two feet, and don’t succumb to stupidity and drink of the mindless haterade are awesome.

    heart you, lady.

    By sweetney on 2008 07 26

  14. PS: i’m totally in this for the poontang.

    By sweetney on 2008 07 26

  15. I don’t know if people consider me a ‘popular blogger’ or not, and I don’t really care.

    What I do care about is just how much the connections and friendships blogging has brought into my life.

    And I love that I was banned from the nasty blog because I stood up for my friends.

    By Redneck Mommy on 2008 07 26

  16. I’m not a popular blogger (I’m one who still goes squee when she notices that her comment is right below Redneck Mommy’s, so what does that tell you?) but I think you hit the nail on the head.

    I blog because I’ve found that I love to write and because it’s like free therapy.  And because I’d have nowhere else to bitch about my husband.  I do hope to become a bigger part of the community, but if I never have a bigger following than I have right now, I will be 100% content with my little part of the internet.

    By Katie on 2008 07 26

  17. Amen.  To all of it.  Especially the cheek licking.

    By Jenny, Bloggess on 2008 07 26

  18. um, yeah, i love you.

    the end.

    By ali on 2008 07 26

  19. you’re making me want to lick you right now. seriously. smile

    By Absolutely Bananas on 2008 07 26

  20. My dad has a shirt that says “save the drama for your momma” So I just save it for my Mom to deal with. You should too.

    I love you, and not just because I think that we were separated at birth, you are real and true and funny. If no one knows that they are crazy and don’t read you.

    Now when can I lick you? (with a cocktail of course!)

    By Mrs. Tantrum on 2008 07 26