Somewhere between Ployanna and Mommy Dearest

24/Aug/2007

We all have those days. You know the ones? I’m willing to wager that you’ve experienced days that make getting a root canal a vacation. In fact, I went to Target sans children minutes from the store closing and considered it a vacation. Tar Jay? Is. My. Vacation.

:: shakes head ::

It’s not that I didn’t know these days would happen. I had these days before kids so what would make me think I’d feel like June Cleaver when I was Maggie O’Connel before kids? I fantasized about living in a cabin in Alaska with my rugged boyfriend who happened to resemble (strongly) John Corbett. (YUMMM)

Now?

Oh, hang on, BoyChild is screaming.

Ok. Now? Now I’m…

Hang on, GirlChild needs “SQUEEZE YOGURRRTTTT.”

Now I’m just trying to make it through each day showered, dressed and, if things go great, my wits still with me at the end of the day.  On a good day I won’t clean up more than three puddles of pee on the floor and get spit up on more than five times or put the SheChild in timeout more than four times.

Compare that to a weekend camping with the skydivers at the hanger at SkyDive Spaceland and, well, it seems a little dull. And I’m ok with dull most days. Dull is fine. In fact? Right now? Dull would be PREFERABLE. Dull would be bliss. Dull would mean there is no arguing or tantrums or hours of overtired infant wailing. Dull sounds a lot like a trip to Target at 8:30 PM. Dull sounds thrilling.

I guess this phenomenon is what happens when you reach your thirties, pop out a few kids and “settle down.”  (Someone PLEASE explain to me how this happened because I don’t remember much of the last three years and, frankly, think I’m a born-again virgin. So, really, birth control? Who needs it! But somehow these people keep showing up and calling us Mommy and Daddy.) I’m touched by all the people who write and comment that they have those days, too. I know we all do. It’s just not at the height of the conversation to confess you’ve got one shoe out the door and the kids ready to get dropped of at their daddy’s work because OHMYGODHOLYHELLMOTHEROFALLTHATISHOLY.

And then the most amazing thing happens. He laughs. And you put your shoes away and grab the camera.

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Comments

  1. Okay that video totally made my evening.  Completely awesome.

    By YSP on 2007 08 24

  2. Tar Jey is a great place to take a vacation!  It’s better than WalMarts any day.

    By Holly on 2007 08 24

  3. Oh, I forgot to mention the video!  Too funny!

    By Holly on 2007 08 24

  4. Oh, yes, I’ve TOTALLY HAD IT, and I’m sitting here at the computer trying to boost my mood, and avoiding the kids (especially the middle one) who have me blinding mad once again.  DH is at work, and didn’t answer when I called, but what could he do anyway?  I’m just stuck here.

    I enjoyed your little guy’s laugh.

    By momto3cubs on 2007 08 24

  5. Those laughs and grins are what makes all of it worth it at this point.  Then come the wet kisses and hugs.  They always make everything right in the world.

    By Shannon on 2007 08 24

  6. Such a handsome little man. I miss those cute little baby laughs. This also, made my night. smile

    As always, hope things are well with you and your family. smile The kids are darling. smile

    By Fluffy Girl on 2007 08 24

  7. Awwww CUT IT OUT MATE… or the next thing I know I will be trying to find me another one of those darn things!  And last time I looked I already had my share .... 8 is ENOUGH.

    By Chris H on 2007 08 24

  8. Aww, that’s what it’s all about. smile

    By Friglet on 2007 08 25

  9. I’ve been having more and more of THOSE DAYS so I completely know what you mean. “Two” finally means something in our household and lately it’s meant near-constant timeouts, frustration, crying and that’s just me! It’s all starting to really scare me, what with a BoyChild of my own on the way. I may get excited about our son’s upcoming appearance but mostly I just hide under the covers when I get a break and wonder what the f*ck I’ve gotten myself into!

    By Colleen on 2007 08 25

  10. I woke up to the three baskets of laundry I folded the night before (Top Chef Marathon) spread all over freaking everywhere.

    I could use a trip to Target to fend off repeatedly sticking a fork in my eye.

    Oh, wait. We don’t HAVE ONE.  Because they are building ANOTHER WALMART.

    Where’s that fork, again?

    By Loralee on 2007 08 25

  11. LOLOL! He laughs just like Simon! (you’ve now inspired me to try to catch it on video)

    Also… what an adorable little chub he’s turning into!! I heart him! wink Squish squish!!

    By erin on 2007 08 25

  12. Really great post. So, so true.

    By Absolutely Bananas on 2007 08 25

  13. I love taking the ipod and going grocery shopping alone.  I blare it and sing to myself scaring everyone out of my way.  It’s great, really…

    I miss those days where laughing was so sweet and had nothing to do with someone saying the word poopie .

    By boogiemum on 2007 08 25

  14. Someday soon I hope to go shopping alone. Yes, it will feel like *vacation.* Only, woe is me, we don’t have a Target. And to get to one, well, I don’t swim that good (no body does)! But when we go home for Christmas guess where you will find me?

    By hilary on 2007 08 25

  15. I too, have had hard-to-come-by me time at Target….where I promptly buy diapers and peruse the sippy cup selection and see if anything Dora-related is on clearance. so, me time, but not really. 

    Love those first giggles!

    By AmyM on 2007 08 25

  16. He is too cute!

    I love Target. Nothing like shopping therapy for a really tough day.

    By thebeanblog on 2007 08 25

  17. Awww . . .that made my morning. Surely, he must have been laughing at his mama; you crack me up!

    By Renee on 2007 08 26

  18. In my house the only sign of a successful day is when Dh arrives home from work and we are all breathing….
    So far so good.

    By Lgirl on 2007 08 26

  19. The laugh!  Oh mah gawd!  The laugh!

    I’ve been having THAT day for, oh don’t know, 3 months.

    Yeah, I get it!

    By Jennifer on 2007 08 26

  20. OMG, how can you not smile ear to ear after hearing that adorable giggle and seeing that very handsome smile? Thanks for the pick me up, I am suddenly forgetting the pain my body is in after 3 consecutive days of exercise. I really needed that.

    By SJSFalter on 2007 08 27