Taking on Kelly Rippa

23/Jun/2010

I have a bone to pick, Kelly. I happen to get those amazing “be more” Electrolux Washer/Dryers you speak so highly of. No, I wasn’t actually trying to be just like you, GOD no, why would I want to do that? I know small dogs less annoying than you are. BUT, I did find an amazing deal on a pretty amazing washer/dryer set and after drooling and researching, decided to plunge in to debt for the sake of Laundry.

And oh, how it was worth it.

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Except one thing:

My clothes don’t fly in to the closet or hang themselves like yours do.

WHAT IS UP WITH THAT KELLY RIPPA?

Next you’re going to tell me that advertising isn’t real. Whatever. I believe everything I see and *I* want my clothes to fly in to their places, Kelly. I deserve nothing less.

Although… I do have to say, I felt a bit justified after I took my flying trapeze class and saw your video show up next to mine on youtube. I watched your whole little show, Mrs. Rippa and I do have to say, Wow. I’m less than impressed.

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I mean, even tall, slightly-heavier-than-should-be old ME can do better than that, Kelly.

Validation comes in strange forms, eh?

*This post brought to you buy sarcasm. If you don’t know sarcasm, or are Canadian, you might think I’m going to actually take on Kelly Rippa.

**Which would be stupid because I could SO TOTALLY kick her tiny little ass.

**Duh.

 

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Comments

  1. Freaking awesome! I know it’s totally safe and harnesses and nets and blah-blah-blah, but there is no way on earth I would ever be brave enough to do that. Paralyzing fear of heights = noooo thank you!

    I’ll help you kick Kelly Ripa’s ass. Not that you’d need it. Bitch probably weighs 75 pounds if you dip her in olive oil.

    By cindy w on 2010 06 23

  2. I am Canadian, and sarcasm is my native tongue! 

    Love the comment above about Kelly, she is a bony lightweight.  You catch her and I’ll sit on her and break her, LOL!  I have a healthy fear of heights and give you many kudos for the whole trapeze deal.

    By canuckone on 2010 06 23

  3. I am Canadian, and sarcasm is my native tongue! 

    Love the comment above about Kelly, she is a bony lightweight.  You catch her and I’ll sit on her and break her, LOL!  I have a healthy fear of heights and give you many kudos for the whole trapeze deal.

    By canuckone on 2010 06 23

  4. Dude! You ROCKED the trapeze, and just say the word…I’ll rip Kelly Ripa’s laundry throwing super power right out of her scrawny little self and pass it to you…you deserve it smile

    By Ashley on 2010 06 23

  5. What is wrong with you people?!? LOL

    I LOVE Kelly Ripa!!! #justsayin’

    By AmazingGreis on 2010 06 23

  6. If you find that washer/dryer that actually folds and puts your clothes away you let me know. I’d pay THOUSANDS for that feature. 

    As for Kelly Ripa, what the hell is she even famous for other than being super annoying?  I truly have no idea.

    By followthatdog on 2010 06 25

  7. Well, the Maytag we bought when you were 10 years old is still working its magic for us and I have no plans to replace either, even if they look old.

    I also like Kelly and am sure she would find you a funny, talented and smart woman. I really think the two of you should do some sarcastic laundry together. I’ll provide the latte and cookies.

    By Omaflinger on 2010 06 30