The Impossible Task

13/Sep/2011

“I was full of a hot, powerful sadness and would have loved to burst into the comfort of tears, but tried hard not to, remembering something my Guru once said—that you should never give yourself a chance to fall apart because, when you do, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again. You must practice staying strong, instead.”  -Elizabeth Gilbert.

It was 1am this morning when I felt the first tug of regret. Not that I hadn’t felt this regret previously during my time working these insanely long hours, or pondering the overwhelming burden which I’d committed myself to, or the time away from the children that pulls at my core, but it was the type of moment where the regret wells up from a lost portion of your being and crashes to the surface in waves. I choked for a brief second and held back a waterfall of tears. I didn’t cry. I took a deep breath, I rubbed my weary eyes, and I looked around at the people helping and pulling for me to succeed. There are so many sherpas in my life right now, those who carry so much of my load as I struggle up an impossible task. There are champions, friendships, co-workers, partners. Amongst confusion, and at times delusion, there are those who take my hand and whisper,  “Take another step forward. And another.”  And I listen.

Being committed to a task is admirable but having a team of people who believe so heartily in your goal is even more than I can ever ask for. You know who you are. All of you. Thank you.

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Comments

  1. xo

    By amandamagee on 2011 09 14

  2. beautifully written! Oktoberfest starts at the weekend, thinking of how you were here last year….

    By Betty in Munich on 2011 09 14

  3. <<<hugs>>></hugs>

    By Pmatah on 2011 09 16