The Next Time I Move, It Will Be Via Tornado

Apr 13, 2010


We set up the wardrobes yesterday. This is a much better system than the piles of boxes we’ve been living under. In theory, that is.


I started setting up the different shelves, organizing all the things I thought so important to force my good friends to spend an entire day moving with us.

I started with undies and socks, you know, important things. Moved on to hang-up items, shoes, scarves, sweats, workout stuff, shit I don’t wear any more, shit I shouldn’t wear any more, shit I don’t fit any more, shit I never want to fit in to again.

That’s when it hit me: WOW I have a LOT OF SHIT.

People say things to me like, “You know, the one great thing about moving is that it forces you to clean out all your stuff.” To these people I reply, “You know, the great thing about a colonoscopy is that it forces you to clean out all your shit.”

We are undergoing one giant (echo: GIANT GIANT GIANT) colonoscopy here.

The next person to try to tell me how awesome moving is will be getting one, too.

Not that I don’t love it or anything. About the same way you love eating a large juicy burger and a “non-invasive” scoping procedure.

Just sayin’.


  1. I am *still* feeling your pain and we moved the first week of March. We did, however, have a garage sale at the old house last week and raked in $700 for our old shit. You know what would be nice? If anything we need for the house would be under $800.

    It is a never-ending suckfest, my friend. Enjoy the house. wink

    By Melanie Nelson on 2010 04 13

  2. We are in the process of getting rid of all our old stuff, in preparation for our move.  I cannot believe how much junk I have!  And I not only paid money for most of it, but I’ve kept it for years.

    By Steph on 2010 04 13

  3. Do as we have done. Unpack essentials and then shove all other stuff in garage/basement for 6 years. Figure I can just give it all away now without even looking through it since I haven’t needed it in 6 whole years.

    By andrea on 2010 04 13

  4. Your yard is bonfire worthy!

    By Ashley on 2010 04 13