Mrs. Flinger: Blog

It was the perfect temp
not a cloud in the sky
The mister took the kids
so maybe perhaps that I

could get in a run
for my new resolution
it wasn’t too cold
it was a perfect solution

I started out great
the wind in my hair
my feet on the gravel
a glorious affair

Then came a rumble
which turned in to fear
My mind raced
“Is there a toilet near?”

I stared in to miles
without any hope
There was no way to stop
I’d just have to cope

So off I did run
while clenching it tight
I hope nobody could tell
it was an awful sight

I started to sweat
not from heat, I believe
more of an internal struggle
to seek a reprieve

from the growing movements
from within my bowel
I looked around
did anyone else smell that foul?

The ditches looked great
more promising than grass
I just needed to find
something to wipe my ass

but find I could not
so off I kept running
the sound of my stomach
like a drum that was drumming

when finally at last,
I made it back to the start
I couldn’t help myself
a released a large fart

I glanced up with great angst
the sound of a jacknife
it came as my husband yelled
“So glad you’re my wife”

I ran right past them
my family await
and finally, at last,
with a sigh, it was great.

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