Today is the day my C-section was scheduled. I almost made up the birth announcements a month early leaving the weight and length as fill-in-the-blank like a Mad Libs. “Baby O makes his debut in to the world on June 8, 2007. He weighed [number] and was [bigger number] inches. Mommy, Daddy, Baby and LB are doing well.” I’m really glad I didn’t. This is why I don’t do my own illustrations.
I’ve played over the events of May 19th and 20th a million times. I’ve marveled out loud with Mr. Flinger over and over how I’d still be pregnant. “I’d still have three more weeks! Two more days! One more night!” We talk about how strange it was to walk in to the hospital thinking we’d be leaving in three hours and not leave for over three days. The world doesn’t stop when you go in to labor and we left the hospital without our man on a sunny Wednesday evening and waited in line on the freeway ramps behind the commuters going about their daily business.
It was surreal.
We left and I was no longer pregnant. We had a baby who was not in the backseat. We had a daughter I hadn’t seen in days. My world was just as rattled as hers was.
I’m not sure who decided it was time to evict you, Baby O. I’m not sure if it was my body that simply gave out or you deciding it was time to meet us in person. I’m not sure why I went in to labor walking around U-village or how immanent your birth was when I came home and told your dad “my body is finished.” I didn’t know I’d have you 12 hours later.
I’ve finally stopped replaying that weekend and the week of your NICU stay in my head. I’ve stopped obsessing about what went wrong and why you didn’t stay in long enough to finish cooking. I’ve stopped thinking about what I did to make you want to come out. It doesn’t matter now. I’m glad you did. Because we’ve had three more weeks with you than we thought we’d get. We have three more weeks of photos, of knowing your quirks, of learning who you are. We have three more weeks of finding out how amazing you are and how much you belong in this family. Three weeks might be forever to you, Baby O, but to us it’s the best possible forever.
Instead of being born June 8th, you had your own plan. And I’m ok with that. I’m sure this won’t be the last time you carve your own path in the world. I’m certain it won’t be the last pleasant surprise you give us.
Happy Non-Birthday, Baby O.
12 guests here now.
Happy Not-Really-Birthday Baby O!!!
By Margaret on 2007 06 08
He looks like he’s smoking a stogie in that pic! LOL
Happy Non-Birthday Baby O! You’ve given your mommy and daddy and big sister three more wonderful weeks of you!
By Jamie on 2007 06 08
See, Baby O got a head start. He was born at negative 3. He’s ahead of the game already!
By Renee on 2007 06 08
A very merry un birthday to you - to you! A very merry unbirthday to you! (Sorry Ry is on a Alice in Wonderland kick and it totally made me think of this!)
BTW - Box in route to the CORRECT place this time
By Nicole on 2007 06 08
So many bittersweet feelings isnt there!? I wish I had a blog when I went through it. all of your feelings and thoughts are so normal for being a preemie mommy. I actually just thought the other day how Hudsons 4.5 months have gone so fast already, It feels so short adn I realized it was because I didnt meet him1.5 months to almost 4 months early! crazy. Its also weird for me because i use to adjust everything, well yes, 6 months old, but 3 months adjusted..so like when Easton wasnt rolling yet, I was like..he is only 2months not 3.5….haha Hudson on the otherhand, just doesnt roll I have no excuse this time. haha
Bittersweet is the only way I have been able to explain it. Always remember, there was nothing you did to cause it, nothing your body did wrong. Just the way it was meant to be. And those 3 extra weeks with him are bonus Happy unbirthday baby O!
By Bree on 2007 06 08
He’s a little honey, your honey.
By Wacky Mommy on 2007 06 08
Happy non-birthday Baby O.
You just got 3 extra weeks with O!
By Lizzy on 2007 06 08
I still get pissed when 4th of July rolls around, my first was supposed to be born June 28—leaving me 10 days to dress her in the cutest patriotic jammies and dresses…
instead, she came on July 7th. but guess what? I wore the outfits on my belly on the 4th of July because DAMMIT she was going to wear them one way or another!!!!!!
oh, and happy unbirthday to baby O- have some cake!! mmm….cake.
By little miss on 2007 06 08
Heehee. I had to laugh on the almost premade announcements. I ALMOST filled out the baby book with the name Matthew Raymond and the date (planned Cesarean as well)... leaving blank the stats…
We had a girl!!Haha. And she was also three weeks, two days early… good thing I listened to the small voice in my head to leave it blank!
No such luck for Jack’s coworkers who gave a party for “Matthew” with his name all filled out in the invitations! I do remember thinking it was bold of them to announce that…what if he wasn’t a “Matthew?” (Never mind what if he wasn’t a boy!!)
Congrats to BABY O!
HE is so adorable. SIGH…Babies are the sweetest things. Please remind me we are finished!
By hilary on 2007 06 09
By Katie Kat on 2007 06 09
I sometimes wonder what it would be like if I had a blog when Declan was born… god, you are articulating so many of my feelings!!!!
By aimee / greeblemonkey on 2007 06 09
It is a good thing you didn’t fill it out early! Funny.
Isn’t it neat with the second one how soon they fit into the family? And it’s hard to imagine life without them.
By Holly on 2007 06 09
Happy not quite birthday Baby O!
Those announcements would have been great! They would be the ones everyone would always remember, that’s for sure.
By Friglet on 2007 06 11
What a wonderful post!
By monkeygirl on 2007 06 13