Heard, very recently, at The Flinger’s:
[SHRIEK!] [MELTDOWN] “He’s going to eat my strollerrrrrrrr! NooOOOOOOoooooooooo”
“He’s not going to eat your stroller, he’s just going to roll it around and lick it a little.”
Things heard at your house?
(Baby O says, “I will eat your stroller! Muhahahhahaha!”)
24 guests here now.
No kids for me, but my niece did make one of her dollies say “oh shit!” to the other while playing recently. I laughed, because I am mature that way.
BTW - love your new design
By Rhi on 2008 01 19
“Honey, don’t walk in front of people when they’re throwing knives. [pause] There’s a sentence I never imagined I’d say to a six-year-old.”
By NG on 2008 01 19
Don’t let the dog kiss you - she’s had her nose up Ruffy’s butt all day!
By Karen Sugarpants on 2008 01 19
Hysterical. It’s so funny the things you end up having to say as a parent.
By Colleen on 2008 01 19
“ugh alex, your hands smell like penis”
(and yes, I will have a haiku about it next week)
By Dawn S. on 2008 01 19
I’ve been working on a post that includes some of the things you hear at my house (and out in public too)
I will say that on a regular basis (several times a week) you can STILL hear
“HE’S GOING TO BITE ME!”
“Stop squealing and he won’t do that. He just wants to hear you scream.”
By Sleeping Mommy on 2008 01 19
I said these words to my 6 & 4 yr olds,
“Boys, stop sniffing eachother’s butts. No, you can’t say he’s from Ur-anus!”
By Mrs Fussypants on 2008 01 19
Wo ha ha ha! Watch out for the stroller eating babies!
By SaraS-P on 2008 01 19
Dude, he looks hungry for my stroller.
I am constantly saying “Keaton stop getting dirty diapers out of the trash and using them as balls.” Every day. Every damn day. When I am not saying that I am telling his to stop drinking out of the toilet. I need new kids.
By Rachael on 2008 01 19
Oh my stars, what a cuteie!
Here, it’s more like “stop playing with your penis,” “put your underwear back on!” and “stop licking the carpet.” Among other things that I can’t remember right now.
By lanna on 2008 01 20
In the Davis home, we have what you call “coping mechanisms.” Things we came up with to keep us from putting the child out in the back yard when we were diaper-changing zombies at 3 am. Here are 2 songs we sing even now to be silly:
(1.) “Poops and pees and boogies and farts, that’s what babies do. Poops and pees and boogies and farts, fun for me and you!”
(2.) “Shaka shaka pee pee, shaka shaka hiney, shaka shaka pee pee yeah!”
(they say you should never shake a baby but I think making his little wee wee jiggle around when you change his diapers is ok. Plus it just looks so damn funny! Except for when he pees on you.)
(that last one was kind of inspired by PeeWee Herman’s Meccah leccah high make hiney ho (spelling is entirely my own of course)
By TheMacMommy on 2008 01 20
Hee hee. I am laughing too hard to type anything.
By hilary on 2008 01 20
Cute! My 3 yr old told his little brother - “You don’t eat dogs Nathan”. Nathan had stole J’s snoopy dog lovey & was slobbering on it.
And we’ve definitely had our share of “get your hands out of your pants”
Craziness!!! Oh well, it’s entertaining I suppose.
By Bridget on 2008 01 20
Z-Girl is by far my most dramatic child and therefore the best quotes come from her. I always enjoy a good “Mommy you are breaking my heart” when I tell her to do something.
We have a similar body part smell issue in our house only with girl parts. I so enjoy telling my girls, “wash your hands, they smell like ‘gynie.”
Of course NOTHING prepares you for when your daughter asks you (after watching Daddy go potty) “How does Daddy pee out of his thumb?”
I figure all of this is me paying my dues from my own childhood, call it childhood karma if you will.
By starshine on 2008 01 21
Oh, he’s such a cutie!
I’m too tired to remember anything amusing that has been said in our house. My 5 1/2 month old seems to be hitting his stride with the whole teething/screaming in anger at 3 AM thing. It sucks all the thoughts out of my brain.
By Carrie on 2008 01 21
Lovely. These all have me laughing so hard I cant even remember what I was going to say.
By SJSFalter on 2008 01 22
No gems in my house since I don’t have children.
By mdvelazquez on 2008 01 22
LOL! Too funny!
Recently heard around the House of the Fey:
“Don’t bite the boob or I’ll put it away and you can’t have any,” said by me at least a dozen times this weekend. My husband thinks this is hilarious. Ah, the joys of breastfeeding while teething…
By Andrea on 2008 01 22
For Christmas, my Step-Mom gave my 3 yr old Son a Superman toy in the shape of one of the actual crystals from the ‘Cave of Crystals’...ANYWAY, he obssessed over the toy and one morning he could not find it, I woke up my husband at 7 am with, “Honey, where is Lucas’s kryptonite?”.
By Mariselle on 2008 01 23
What an adorable picture!
By Holly on 2008 01 23