You don’t have to be Einstine to google (But I am)

Jun 16, 2007

Last week we talked to another pediatrician about Baby O’s increased crying. Armed with a healthy knowledge of reflux and colic from our previous experience raising a baby, we took fantastic notes for four days before calling with an irrefutable list of evidence.  Dr. McYummy agreed and he handed us the flux-juice that promised to make our lives as near normal as parents with a newborn can expect. Life will still suck, he tells us, but it’ll suck a lot less.

Thank you.

We’ve been pushing the flux-juice on Baby O for four days. Life is indeed improving. Baby O cries in an almost predictable pattern and follows all “normal newborn” fussiness. How do I possibly know what normal newborn fussiness is when my last child screamed 5 hours a day for 4 months? Dr. McGoogle.

See, there is scientific evidence that babies peak fussy at 6 weeks. They cry more often at night and there may be no real reason for their inconsolable whine. But there’s hope! Dr. McGoogle offers a lot of ways to soothe your crying infant.

But, there’s more.

Mrs. Flinger offers an alternative that may calm you, if not your infant. We call it MaiTai and it’s revolutionary.


By the third drink, you won’t notice your infant’s wails. In fact, you won’t notice the neighbor’s dog or the car alarm from the cranky old woman three doors down that can’t find third gear when she drives (you know this because you’re always behind her when you leave for preschool) let alone the deactivation for the alarm. And by You, I mean Me.

We here at Mrs. Flinger take in to account those of you working hard to provide boob-juice for your young. We’ve taken note of methods provided by Dr. Google for the pump-n-dump and have collected some information to help during your morning hangover fog.

Our favorite advice says, “By the time you are no longer feeling “tipsy” it is okay to feed your baby. Alcohol does not go into your milk and stay there. It goes in and comes out. If you feel ok, then most of the alcohol is out of your milk. If you have any doubt, pump and dump one time and that should be fine.”

But the La Leche League’s THE BREASTFEEDING ANSWER BOOK (pp. 597-598) says, “Alcohol passes freely into mother’s milk and has been found to peak about 30 to 60 minutes after consumption, 60 to 90 minutes when taken with food. Alcohol also freely passes out of a mother’s milk and her system. It takes a 120 pound woman about two to three hours to eliminate from her body the alcohol in one serving of beer or wine…the more alcohol that is consumed, the longer it takes for it to be eliminated. It takes up to 13 hours for a 120 pound woman to eliminate the alcohol from one high-alcohol drink. The effects of alcohol on the breastfeeding baby are directly related to the amount the mother consumes.”

And experts like Dr. Jack Newman, author of The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers: “Reasonable alcohol intake should not be discouraged at all ... Prohibiting alcohol is another way we make life unnecessarily restrictive for nursing mothers.”

That’s right, Internet, I’m here to displace your guilt and tell you that I did, in fact, enjoy my time out last night. I’d have to say that a mom of a newborn shouldn’t deny herself. In fact, a night out with the girls is probably exactly what the Doctor ordered. And if Dr. Google didn’t order it, Dr. Flinger will.

I’ll drink to that.


  1. I tried to “clink” cheers with your glass but fear smashing my glass against the computer monitor screen.  smile

    Kudos for you getting out and having a night out.!

    By ^starshine on 2007 06 17

  2. I’m so glad you were able to enjoy your night out!  I should have done more of those earlier.  I had several friends recomend that I try throwing one back right before nursing to see if that would help Charlie sleep.  I never actually tried it but I was so tempted so, do let me know what your experimentation shows.

    I am also so very glad that you were able to get the reflux juice.  I’m sure your life will be much more pleasant now.

    By Becky on 2007 06 17

  3. Girlfriend, you are so right to be enjoying your Mai Tai! I have the best lactation consultant that Kaiser has to offer and she is fantabulous. She has always told me to drink up (well, maybe not exactly like that) or at least not to freak out about the alcohol unless I am totally shit canned. Those Crazy Canadians with their cute accents and level heads.

    By Kirdito on 2007 06 17

  4. Good for you!!  I’m glad to hear you got out and enjoyed yourself.

    How bad is it that I’m actually looking forward to my three day conference at the beach?  I know there is some evening celebrations and I can’t wait - plus?  The whole bed to myself?  It’s all just a little too exciting.

    By Andy on 2007 06 17

  5. Yep, that’s what the lactation consultant told us. As long as you aren’t feeling the effects your a-okay. I enjoy my cocktail after I get done nursing the Wee One. By the time he’s ready to eat again, we are good to go.

    By *pixie on 2007 06 17

  6. Looks like you had so much fun! And man, you’ve earned it. Still, I’m jealous. I’m at least 6 months away from a cocktail and girl, I’ve been needing one after our looooong car trip to Indiana and back.

    By Colleen on 2007 06 17

  7. Glad you got to get out of the house! I’m sure it did you good. I’m really going to try that this time around. I don’t think I went anywhere for like 6 months. It was bad! No wonder I was a cranky bitch. The only thing I can warn you about drinking with a newborn is that a)You might need a glass of wine to get in the mood for that 6 week mark b) You might feel violated when your husband continues to rub your butt while your are nursing your infant back to sleep.  Gettin’ action at both ends that way was a little disturbing. XOXO

    By kelli on 2007 06 17

  8. I’d totally drink to that—and hell, i bet the small alcohol content in your milk would help baby O sleep more—LOL.

    I love the picture!

    By little miss on 2007 06 17

  9. I’m so glad that you got a night out. We all need one now and then.

    By KristinaB on 2007 06 17

  10. I’ll drink to that!

    I too have recently re-discovered the joys of a mixed drink/ glass of wine.

    By Skyzi on 2007 06 18

  11. Good for you!  Don’t deprive yourself of some fun times just cause you’re a mommy of 2 now.  Everyone needs a drink sometimes….

    By Emily on 2007 06 18

  12. Love the pic. Good for you!

    By aimee / greeblemonkey on 2007 06 18

  13. 2 with reflux? God must be playing a cruel joke on you Les. I remember the best part about having Keaton was that he didn’t have reflux. Okay I am sure there were better things about him, but they escape me at the moment.
    Seriously switch his formula to Enfamil AR. I swear on my life it will change yours. Gavin was so bitchy until we switched him to it. It saved my sanity.

    By Rachael on 2007 06 18

  14. Hooray! Such a cute pic…


    By Marie on 2007 06 18

  15. Pump ‘n’ dump is a beautiful thing.

    I don’t know if your guy has the same deal going on that our guy did—he was a couple weeks early and the docs thought his fussiness, colic, what have you was because his nervous system didn’t quite have a chance to develop. He would startle easily, freak out, etc. Even when I was nursing him! (Did I already post about this? Or leave a comment? I have no idea.)

    Well, it left us jangled for awhile (some would say I’m still jangled—ha) but he grew out of it.

    By Wacky Mommy on 2007 06 18

  16. Word up!!!  I freely admit that I did not deprive myself of a nightcap on many, many nights when I knew I would be nursing Jacob within an hour or two.  He is not dead yet, no siree.

    By Claire on 2007 06 18

  17. Word up!!!  I freely admit that I did not deprive myself of a nightcap on many, many nights when I knew I would be nursing Jacob within an hour or two.  He is not dead yet, no siree.

    By Claire on 2007 06 18

  18. Good for you.  And can you look any happier? grin

    By mdvelazquez on 2007 06 18

  19. no kidding, welcome to the happy world of drinking and nursing.
    ps it looks like you took a goddam happy pill for crissakes. I’ve never had a couple maitais that were THAT great. What, do maitais give good head or somethin?

    By texasbelle on 2007 06 19

  20. Glad to hear you went out with girlfriends and had a good time.

    By Kerry on 2007 06 20