You may shop there, but I pee there

Nov 26, 2005

Does anyone else do this? ...

So, there’s this fancy store in the northwest called Nordstroms. My Mom always went to the anniversary sale because the fancy pansy items were almost affordable then. I, on the other hand, hate that place. I remember one time sitting in the store laughing at all the yuppie rich bitches shopping and making up lame bumper stickers with a friend of mine. “I’d rather be laughing at people who’d rather be shopping at Nordstroms” to counter the “I’d rather be shopping at Nordstroms” bumper sticker my Mom had on her Toyota Highlander. You know, because I was a hippie and all.

Yesterday we were downtown Portland at 7AM with all the psycho sale savin’ people. We weren’t down there to shop. No no, we were there to stand in the rain and watch my cousin in a parade, which turned out to be pretty damn fun, by the way, minus the 35 degree pelting rain and crowds, we had a great time.  We decided that hey! Since we’re poor and downtown let’s play our favorite game “what would we buy and guess how much this is.” First we went into the Columbia store, which we love. I found no less than 300 bucks worth of stuff I must have. Whole outfits I can wear to work OR snowshoeing in. That there is versatility my friends. Next, we walked in to the Banana Republic, which is where the “guess what you can’t afford here” game originated. (We much prefer the affordable Gap cousin to Banana Republic and if you forget about the child labor in China, you can really get some good deals.)  Just after we left, however, I realized I had to pee. Like the nazzi place it is, the Banana Republic had no restrooms, so we walked across the street to Nordstroms. Instantly greeted by isles of perfume and very expensive makeup, it hit me that the last time I was in Nordstroms was about a year ago at which time we were shopping and I had to pee. Come to think of it, the ONLY time I’ve been in Nordstroms lately is when I have to pee. Looking back, I’ve used roughly three rolls of fancy Norstrom TP (oh! Note to self: when we’re using leaves for TP, go to Nordies) but I haven’t actually shopped there in about thirteen years.

So, all those people shopping at Nordstroms? Keep doin’ it. ‘Cause you’re the reason people like me get to pee in fancy places without restrooms, but rather a “ladies lounge”.


  1. You can be my bathroom buddy Leslie because that is almost all I ever use Nordstrom for.  Whenever I have had a gift card to the place, all I ever end up purchasing is make up that I never end up wearing.  I will say that the “ladies lounge” is pretty nice and there always lotion for the taking.

    By traci on 2005 11 26

  2. I’m with you…I’ve nursed in the lounge at Nordstrom, but haven’t purchased anything there for a long time (and only during anniversary sale)!

    By Amy_M on 2005 11 26

  3. Expensive, but they do have some mighty cute baby shoes! I rarely go in there because I wan’t everything and know it ain’t happening! Great place to pee in though.

    By kelli on 2005 11 26

  4. they do have the nicest bathrooms I mean ladies lounge ever. 

    I’m no yuppie but I have to admit I buy nearly all of my kids shoes there.  Of course I don’t buy myself any nice shoes there.  It’s the kids they get the style and well I’m just a mom in sweats and a t-shirt.

    By kbkb on 2005 11 26

  5. Brother Belle’s girlfriend works at Nordstroms “for fun” and for “the discount”.  She can afford to shop there because her daddy bought her house so she wouldn’t have to “worry about the little things.”  smile

    By RB on 2005 11 27

  6. I used to work there. Damn that place and all the people who shop there, how can the avg. person afford it? They can’t. They’re posers. But they do have a bitchen bathroom, great for breastfeeding!

    By candice on 2005 11 27

  7. Hee hee. We don’t have Nordstom’s here, but I’ve used the Lord & Taylor bathroom… niiiiice.

    By Marie on 2005 11 28

  8. yeah, nice pee room!  another thing i do/have there is their soup.  very cheap lunch… but I haven’t gone to N-cafe since I took a menu from and the menu stand and the rest of the menus decided to fall and knocked down a bottle of vinegar (yes, glass bottle!)... which may cost…..20 or 30… WHOOPS.

    By Kerry on 2005 11 29