Mrs. Flinger: Based on a True Story

You shouldn’t have to think this early on a Monday, but… 23/Apr/2007

#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz

This weekend we did some of the “to do” items from the “before our lives change and never really go back” list. We finally did some small things like put up the ties for the blind-pulls so the toddler doesn’t end up strangled while we ignore her to feed the baby. We re-arranged their closet to fit all of CB’s new baby things. We got the stuff to stain the diaper changing station and a few other home projects that we’ve neglected. Just having marked off several list items made me feel like this little man actually might fit in our tiny house.

Maybe.

But there’s an item on my list that I really am not good at. It’s something Read more

How weird is this? 16/Apr/2007

#Getting to know me#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz

Not that we’re peeping Flingers or anything, we aren’t. It’s just that our tiny townhouse is crammed in with a bunch of other tiny townhouses. Which means One could, potentially, look out the window and see in to about seventeen other people’s tiny townhouses, if One was to look. And, should One not close the blinds on the stairs, One would see a family just across the street who recently set up a crib in the spare room giving One the conclusion that One was right when One thought the gal looked pregnant walking to the mailbox.

One is getting a bit confused here.

So, our neighbors were gone for a few days and, being the stellar observer that I am, I turned to Mr. Flinger and said, “I was right! I was right! They’re out having a baby! I... Read more

Herding Buffalo 22/Mar/2007

#Life#ADHD#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz

I have this disease Mr. Flinger calls “Herding Buffalo.” It usually occurs when life is in complete chaos and there is little time for anything.  It usually happens when an idea enters my busy brain and suddenly it can’t get out. The single idea turns in to fifty things that need to be done RIGHT! NOW! and suddenly there is the sound of herding buffalo in my head.

Right now, I have Herding Buffalo.

I last got Herding Buffalo when we were moving to Seattle. It came up often during the moving process, since moving is a bit stressful, especially moving states and jobs. Instead of writing a list of simple things such as “Sell House. Get rid of Crap. Buy House. Get moving truck. Move.” I started getting dizzy with details. Once the... Read more

When God Speaks 26/Feb/2007

#Life#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz

Or rather,  when the Blog Gods slay you. I’ve talked before about why I’m glad God is not a blogger. I’m going to assume God is out there doing more useful things instead of ignoring her/his children and putting in Elmo for the tenth time that day. I’d like to pretend God does not tune me out when his/her website goes wonky or when there is a deadline for work. I’d like to think God never drops me off at day care or leaves me to nap on cots three inches off the floor while she/he grabs a latte.

But sometimes that God is a hardass. Sometimes when she says, “Thou shalt not blog” and one particular person goes, “Oh... Read more

Oprah and Bon-Bons (or, why I suck at being a WAHM) 24/Feb/2007

#Life#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz

Anyone else feel like you’re treading under water? Grey’s Anatomy aside here, we’re all drowning in snot and a megga slow server. I swear I’ve tried to update only to get a “page loading” message for, oh, more than the .2 nanoseconds that I have patience to wait so I close my browser and decide my site hates me. No, it’s not you, it’s me. It’s the snot. It’s the fever. It’s the holy-hell-sinus-pressure-that-I-can-only-take-farking-saline-spray-for (!?) and the other things the Internet was telling me you don’t need to hear about.

Being sick is boring as hell, y’all.

Whilst laying around for days (as in five) trying to get the She Child to just not kick mommy in the belly and let me sleep while... Read more

Sometimes I’m heroic, mostly I’m just “ick”. 11/Feb/2007

#Life#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz#Weght Loss and Body Image

It’s really not what you think. I’m really not off contemplating The World At Large and finding solutions to global hunger and poverty. No. I’m actually knee deep in grading and laundry and baby-nesting and am not here right now blogging. You don’t see me. See? Not here. But maybe in a week or so I will be able to breathe and have that feeling of accomplishment when I actually got something finished and remembered that I’m blessed and happy and whole. Right now I don’t feel very whole so I’m off finding wholeness while I work.

If that makes any sense at all. And if it doesn’t? Well, it’s ok because it doesn’t to me either.

I got an email... Read more

Oh My God, I am the “Days of our Lives” of blogland 05/Feb/2007

#Life#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz

Let’s say, hypothetically, that you used to read this website and then stuff happened and you didn’t get to read much. Then you came back and Lo! I was STILL posting about my sex-life (and lack-there-of) and how my child still isn’t sleeping. I’m like a really bad soap opera minus the hot men and women that can’t act but have so much Botox their eyes pop when they smile.

Dayam.

I tuned in, briefly, during Jr. High to Days of Our Lives when I would visit my friend Mercy at her house in the summer. She was a complete DOUL addict and would watch it religiously. Then I grew up, went to college, and had roommates that watched it. The first time I came walked in on them watching DOUL, the exact same characters were in the exact same predicament.... Read more

If I can’t take drugs, at least one of us better 01/Feb/2007

#Pregnancy#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz#The Flinger Family

Small note to poison control: Obviously if I’m calling you because I’m afraid my child had a double dose of cough medicine, I am not one to dope her up regularly. And yes, of course the medicine is up in a cabinet that she can not reach. Who am I? Britney Spears? No, obviously I was standing right there with her when she pulled a fast one and grabbed the bottle and started chugging it like the fans at an Aerosmith concert.  And is it really necessary to ask me if she’s actually sick? Because no, of course she’s not, I just need a few hours and thought a double dose would take care of the nap-strike she’s on.

Gawd.

Suddenly it didn’t seem like a bad idea. I mean, Read more

If there’s ever a question 24/Jan/2007

#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz#The Flinger Family

Our kids are images of our inner selves. I noted that in the past, when I saw so much of my own personality in her. But now that she’s older, I see how much of our mannerisms, our quirky characteristics and our obsessive/compulsive behaviors rub off on these impressionable little people.

For example.

Here I have documented the color coding our two year old has recently taken to. One day, blue became Daddy’s, red became LB’s and everything green became Mommy’s. We try to ask her what color the baby gets but her head spins in circles, her eyes glaze... Read more

My secret super hero power 16/Jan/2007

#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz

If I was a Super Hero, I’d be super anxiety gal.  I’d probably wear yoga pants because this 19-weeks-pregnant ass should never be crammed in to spandex, but I’d surely have a cape and probably a wrist-watch thing that could read the future and comfortable shoes.

Not that I’ve given this much thought or anything.

See, I have this secret power in which I take my worst fear and turn it in to reality. Lately, I’ve noticed how much more afraid I am when I’m pregnant. I’m afraid something is going to be wrong with the baby. I’m afraid my husband will die and not be here to see this baby grow in to a person and want to borrow the car and get witty and crass. I’m afraid the cough my daughter has will spread in to some... Read more